How to Tell What a Guy Wants From You (All You Need To Know)

Here’s the million dollar question: how do you know if a man really likes you for YOU or just wants you for sex? Is there a difference? Does a man looking for a booty call have a certain look or a certain way of speaking that’s different than a man who is genuinely curious about you? Is there a way to filter out the wrong type of guy (the pervert, the player) and attract the right type of guy—the knight in shining armor?

It’s important to first understand how and why a man experiences attraction. A man can’t control his attraction. He develops an attraction based on a person’s desirable physical properties, and sometimes more social qualities that he observes. He’s looking for partners who are compatible. If he lacks attraction, he figures there is no compatibility.

Now believe it or not, a man also has a filtering process just like women do. Some men disqualify women as sexual partners immediately, based on a lack of physical attraction. Some men disqualify women after a lengthy conversation, realizing that their minds are completely opposite or at least, don’t have enough things in common.

And yes, some men will only make the decision that his partner is incompatible AFTER sex. Sometimes a man obsessively wants sex and is willing to lie or fake a personality just to bed a woman he desires. Juvenile, perhaps. But that’s what happens.

So the easy answer is that there is no way to attract a man only if he’s seriously interested and to deflect him if he just wants sex like a horn dog.

Because let’s face it: in the end you don’t want a man who is platonically interested in you. You don’t want this man to be your friend. You don’t want to join him in a business venture or to work for him. You want to seriously date him.

So get used to the idea of attraction—basic attraction, because at this early stage a man can’t really tell the difference between serious attraction and sexual attraction.

Your job as a woman who’s hunting a man is to make him realize he likes you for sex AND for something more serious.

It definitely helps to better interpret his signals and to learn some basic behavioral patterns to weed out the wrong type of guy as early as possible. For example:

1. Does he only contact you at night? Is he always talking about attraction, beauty and sex (in so many words?)

Kind of obvious but it bears repeating. If a man only seems to come alive at night and talk about sensual activities, he’s probably not seriously interested. Simple but true: men who are more romantically interested in you are okay with lunch and speaking in the daytime. Men who just want sex are mostly night prowlers. He also tends to be unavailable for you during weekends and nights—meaning he’s getting laid elsewhere, and is replacing you with “whoever he finds”, to put it bluntly.

2. Does he talk about interesting things or is coming over on his mind?

Men interested in you as a person want to talk. They want to learn more about you and pique your mind. Men interested in sex are preoccupied with coming over or getting together and avoid really deep and interesting topics over phone or text. This type of man also sporadically contacts you once or twice a week, wondering if you’re game for friends-with-benefits fun.

You can even test him by asking a question that requires a minimum of thought. A simple, “How was your day?” will probably scare players away. They don’t tend to share information about themselves. They’d rather get together, play mind games, joke around, and then hop into bed. Men interested in you for the long-term have time to discuss a variety of subjects.

3. Your man may be busy…but if he really likes you, he makes plans to be free.

Men who want just sex don’t have a lot of time for serious dating—they’re very much about the whole “by the third date get sex or get out!” logic. While it is true that successful men tend to be always busy, you’d be surprised how quickly they can readjust their schedule to meet a woman they like. A man interested primarily in sex usually won’t rearrange his schedule to be with you. All he has to do is wait a day or so and hit the bar scene. A man who likes you really “goes all the way”…not just sexually, but also in that he ENJOYS spending time with you, even if you’re both workaholics.

4. A man who really likes you is proud to be seen with you.

If a man thinks you fit him—your personality is charming, your intellect impressive and your social standing comparable to his own, he will be proud to be seen with you. He won’t mind running into family or friends, since the very thought of you and him together is appealing to his imagination.

A man who wants sex does NOT want to be associated with you besides a bar appearance, a club, or better yet, “Netflix and chill.” He mainly wants to isolate you and get you alone…the best chance for him have sex!

Now mind you, sex is always part of a serious relationship and yes, even a true gentleman will desire you physically. This is why it’s best to keep him waiting—at least until you both experience a powerful emotional connection.

You might like him but have you challenged him? Have you made him think? Have you talked about something meaningful in his life and bonded as two people who have a lot in common? These are the experiences that show him that he desires you—and he’s going to want to see more of you even after the curiosity of first time sex wears off.

So simply put, a man will always sexually desire you…but if you hold out long enough, you can appeal to his mental and emotional attraction, and that’s where love begins.

10 Magic Love Triggers That Make Men Fall Hard For You

Have you ever been near someone who gave you a strange spine tingling sense of excitement?

Have you ever felt those infamous little butterflies in your stomach fluttering around when your secret crush walked by?

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Talk soon,

Matthew Coast

P.S. If you’ve been banging your head against the wall because you’ve fallen for a man who’s frustratingly unavailable…

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About The Author

Matthew Coast

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