Why You Attract Broken Men: Understanding the Patterns and How to Break Free

Have you ever wondered why you keep attracting the wrong men? Men who need fixing… men who don’t want to commit… men who have serious addictions?

It’s a pattern many of us fall into without even realizing it. 

Let’s discuss why this happens and share insights on how we can shift this pattern.

It’s all about understanding ourselves better and making smarter choices…

Ignoring Red Flags

It’s surprisingly easy to turn a blind eye to warning signs when we’re swept up in the excitement of a new relationship.

You know what I’m talking about: those little gut feelings or moments that make you pause, but you brush them off thinking, “It’s not a big deal.”

But why do we do this?

Often, it’s because we’re so attracted to the other person that our desire for the relationship to work out clouds our judgment. We might fear that acknowledging these red flags could lead to conflict or, worse, the end of the relationship before it really begins.

To start paying attention to these red flags, we need to slow down and listen to our intuition. It’s about being honest with ourselves and recognizing that ignoring these signs often leads to more heartache down the line.

It’s not about being paranoid or looking for problems, but about acknowledging concerns and addressing them early on. Remember, a red flag isn’t just a hurdle to overcome; it’s a signal to pause and consider whether this relationship is truly right for you.

If you’re ready to discover the PROVEN path to attract the man you want in your life, register for my next workshop here.

Fear of Being Alone

The fear of being alone is a powerful force.

It can push us into relationships that aren’t right for us, simply because we think it’s better than being single.

But here’s the truth: settling for less than you deserve out of fear of loneliness only leads to more loneliness.

It’s a hard pill to swallow, I know. But confronting this fear is crucial. Being alone doesn’t mean being lonely. In fact, it can be a powerful period of growth and self-discovery.

Accepting that being alone is better than being in a harmful relationship is the first step towards breaking free from this fear.

It’s about valuing your own company and realizing that you are enough. When you’re comfortable being alone, you’re less likely to settle for a relationship that doesn’t serve you.

Embrace your independence, and trust that the right relationship will come along—one that adds to your life, rather than filling a void.

Desire to Fix or Heal Others

There’s a certain allure in thinking we can fix or heal someone. It’s like we’re drawn to the idea of being the one person who can make a difference in someone’s life. But here’s the catch: when we try to fix broken men, we often do so at the expense of our own well-being. It stems from a desire to be needed, to prove our worth, or perhaps to distract ourselves from our own issues.

However, this approach is fraught with problems. It places us in a cycle of caretaking that can be emotionally exhausting and ultimately unfulfilling.


Because no one can truly fix another person.

Each individual must take responsibility for their own healing. So, instead of pouring your energy into fixing someone else, focus on your own growth and healing.

It’s not selfish; it’s necessary. When you shift this focus, you’ll start attracting healthier relationships that don’t require you to play the savior.

Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem can be a major factor in why we attract and are attracted to broken men. It’s like we subconsciously believe we don’t deserve someone who is whole and healthy. This belief can lead us to settle for less, accepting behavior and treatment that we know deep down isn’t right for us.

The journey to overcoming low self-esteem starts with self-love and recognizing your own worth. It’s about affirming that you are deserving of a partner who respects and values you just as much as you do them.

Building self-esteem is a process, involving self-reflection, challenging negative self-talk, and setting boundaries that protect your well-being.

As your self-esteem grows, so does your ability to attract partners who reflect the true value you bring to a relationship. Remember, you are worthy of love, respect, and a partner who sees and celebrates your strength and independence.

If you want to hear stories from women who have overcome this, attend my next workshop here.

Past Trauma or Unresolved Issues

It’s not uncommon for our past traumas or unresolved issues to play a significant role in the partners we choose.

These experiences can shape our beliefs about love, worthiness, and what we deserve in relationships, often leading us toward partners who mirror the unresolved pain within us. Identifying these patterns is the first step towards healing.

It involves looking back at your past relationships and recognizing any recurring themes or feelings.

Working through these issues might require professional help, such as therapy, where you can explore these patterns in a safe environment.

The goal is to heal these wounds from the past, so they don’t dictate your future.

By addressing your past traumas, you empower yourself to make choices that are in line with your true worth and desires, breaking the cycle of attracting broken men.

Lack of Boundaries

Healthy boundaries are essential for any healthy relationship. They help define where we end and where others begin, ensuring our emotional well-being is protected.

Without boundaries, we might find ourselves in relationships that drain us, where our needs and feelings are constantly overlooked. Establishing boundaries starts with understanding your own needs and limits.

What are you comfortable with?

What do you need from a partner to feel respected and loved?

Communicating these boundaries clearly and consistently is key. It’s not just about setting them; it’s about maintaining them, even when it’s tough. Remember, setting boundaries is a sign of self-respect. When you honor your own boundaries, you signal to others that you value yourself, attracting partners who respect and cherish you for who you are.

Misunderstanding Love and Compassion

There’s a fine line between love and compassion and tolerating harmful behavior. Sometimes, we justify staying in unhealthy relationships under the guise of love or compassion. We think that loving someone means accepting them entirely, even when their behavior hurts us. But true love and compassion start with ourselves. It’s about loving ourselves enough to not accept less than we deserve.

Understanding the difference involves recognizing that you can be compassionate and loving towards someone without tolerating behavior that disrespects or harms you. Showing love and compassion to ourselves means making choices that support our well-being and happiness.

It means knowing when to walk away from situations that diminish our worth. When we practice self-love and compassion, we set the standard for how we expect to be treated by others, paving the way for healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

The journey to break the cycle of attracting broken men begins from within.

It’s a path of self-awareness, where we learn to recognize our worth and confront the fears that hold us back. This isn’t about changing others; it’s about making conscious decisions about who we allow into our lives and how we see ourselves in those relationships.

Remember, you’re deserving of a partnership that lifts you up and brings out the best in you, not one that casts you in the role of perpetual healer or savior. Let’s embrace this journey of self-discovery and empowerment, stepping into a future where our relationships reflect our true value and aspirations.

The 4 Ways to Guarantee You Attract Your Forever Man

If you’re frustrated with your dating life and you’re ready to just skip all the nonsense and attract a great guy into a committed, lasting relationship…

Let me personally help you.

I’m hosting a live masterclass called…

The 4 Proven Ways to Attract Your Forever Man

Click here to register

In this masterclass, I’ll show you…

  • How to practically guarantee you end up meeting a great guy and turn that into a real, lasting relationship.
  • How to attract the right man a lot faster, easier, and have more fun while doing it.
  • The secret to method to connect with him in a way that makes him never want to let you go.
  • Exactly what to say to attract a man without coming off as desperate or too much.

And much more…

Click here to register now

Talk soon,

Matthew Coast

P.S. If you’re tired of endlessly swiping, boring conversations that go nowhere, and you just want to get into the relationship you’ve always wanted fast…

Click here to register now

1 thought on “Why You Attract Broken Men: Understanding the Patterns and How to Break Free”

  1. I want to tell you that this is the most amazing information that you are passing on. It has enabled me to not tolerate my partner’s behaviour of 18 months any longer and to see him for what he is and also to see myself., and not think I’m going bonkers
    I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me this freedom today – a great weight has been lifted . I thought I had seen it all, met them all , yet I still couldn’t see what this person was doing .
    Bless you Matthew ❣️

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