It’s not that hard to start a text conversation with a guy, as long as you have a strategy going into it and you avoid awkward lulls in the conversations.
The best way to have a great short conversation, is to have something specific to talk about in mind and then to focus the conversation on the guy, with open-ended questions.
But here’s where things get really challenging!
How do you sustain that level of interest? How to do get the guy to like you rather than just tolerate you because he’s trying to be nice? In other words, how do you use texting to progress in the relationship to the point where you’re actually dating?
Let’s consider five lessons to keep in mind in turning average texting dialog into something powerful and romantic!
1. Take a personal interest in his hobby and or career.
“So how is your pet puppy?” OR “So what did your boss end up telling you?”
It’s one thing to ask about it. That’s respectful and all…but a guy who’s not really feeling your interest may respond with a simple “It’s OK.” He throws the ball back in your court! Now it’s your job to personalize the question. Ask him specific questions about what the latest developments are. How is he getting along with the people at work? Remember their names so you can ask about them, get to know these people. Ask him about his latest creations, if he’s an artist of some kind, or what inspires him to create. If he’s mechanically inclined, ask him what he’s working on and what challenges he faces. Asking these questions show him you actually care about the answer, you’re not just being polite. You want to get to know him.
And of course, once a man realizes you actually do care, he will definitely want to tell you his life story!
2. Be ready to show sympathy when he talks about important things.
“You know if you ever need to talk to someone about that I’m here.”
The more you ask, the more he will tell. Eventually, he will want to tell you about more personal things—about his family members, or maybe even big disappointments in his life. Showing sensitivity is respectful…but showing sympathy means you are showing an interest in important, deeply personal things! That’s why you ask about his family, how they’re doing, and express compassion if he tells you some of his problems. Men sometimes get very attached to pets or may worry about their siblings, friends or parents. Show him that you are a good friend to talk to. You listen, you feel the same emotions as he has. Make him feel safe confiding in you.
At some point, you will hit a nerve with the guy and it will be a good nerve—that is, a topic he REALLY wants to talk about in detail. Don’t be afraid of this moment. He will either type out a really long message or he will hint that you should talk on the phone. Agree to talk to him on the phone.
3. When he expresses an interest in you, DON’T answer every question in great detail and then give you your whole life story. Your goal is to answer just enough to keep him interested.
“Yes, I do like to travel. Myrtle Beach is really beautiful in the spring. What’s your favorite vacation spot?”
This may seem like a cliché by now, but it still holds true. Men like mysterious women! It’s almost a magnetic attraction. When you’re obviously interested in him enough to talk, and yet don’t really say much about your own life, a man finds this fascinating. He starts wondering who you really are. A man figures if he asks a few questions you’ll launch a three-hour tirade about your life and future wedding plans. Wrong! Don’t give him what he asks for…give him what he wants. Make him curious and then tease him whenever he gets impatient and wants to know more.
You can even answer questions directly without actually giving much information away. By focusing on HIM and making him work for information on YOU, you are creating a sort of magnetic attraction that he will find irresistible. This enhances the physical attraction that exists and it may create sexual attraction even if he seems initially cold.
4. Can’t think of anything to say? Talk about events!
“So are you doing anything special with your family for Christmas?”
If you ever find that you’re running out of things to say, don’t try so hard to be interesting. Instead, just text your crush your plans or ask him for his plans. This is straight out of the Talk Show Host rulebook. When in doubt, just ask your guest what they’re doing for Christmas, or the weekend, or July 4th, or Halloween, and so forth. You’re making the conversation topical, which lets you easily segue into a conversation about what you’re doing and what he’s doing. At some point, maybe he will figure out that it would be lots of fun to do something together.
You can also talk about these events past tense, as in “Did you have fun over Labor Day Weekend?” This engages him in dialog about himself and also gives him an easy topic for a follow-up conversation: “How about you? What did you do?”
Not much pressure at all. Just two friends talking!
5. Don’t be overly emotional or pushy. Remember, all that affection and attention is a reward he earns by chasing you. Focus on being cool and funny.
“It’s always fun talking to you. You’re the Rick to my Morty.”
Some women fall into the habit of being overly expressive in text early on. They may abbreviate words to seem hip, or go heavy on the emojis, or just say a bunch of cutesy stuff that a guy really doesn’t want to see (nor does he deserve!) too early in the relationship. Be friendly but don’t be emotionally invested in him. By controlling yourself now, you will send a clear message. You’re curious about him, but you’re not chasing him. He still has to chase you.
Instead, be cool and be funny. If you’re naturally a comedian then share funny things you heard and put the focus on light conversation, fun dialog, and just quirkiness. This is the positive energy that you want to project to eliminate that dating awkwardness and simply associate you with being FUN.
Text him this to trigger his desire to chase you…
Did you know that you can trigger a man’s hormones through your text messages?
It’s true. How you communicate with a man can actually release different hormones in his body.
One of the most important ones is testosterone because that’s what makes him CHASE you, pursue you, and invest in you so that he gets “hooked” and desires something more with you.
Want to trigger this in your man?
Talk soon,
Matthew Coast
P.S. You can actually trigger a “cocktail of emotions” inside a man that make him feel like he can’t get you out of his mind and even feel addicted to you, if you text him a certain way.
