How to Unleash Your NAUGHTY Side

What does a man want the most when it comes to pleasing a woman in bed? Well it’s safe to assume that he wants the basics, like dirty talking, fantasizing and shattering all taboos. But once you get passed all those clichés, what does he actually want from his dream lover? He wants freedom. He wants experimentation…

But most of all, he wants to please you. And ironically, some women try so hard to please their man that they practically forget to focus on their own pleasure. That’s no problem for the guy, right? As long as he gets to come why should he worry?

Only thing is…ummm the guy actually does worry. A lot. Performance anxiety is a real sex killer for men who are determined to please their partner and bring her to orgasm. Men are competitive. They want to know that not only are they “good” but they’re the best you’ve ever had! The old cliché of a selfish man who comes first and then goes to sleep, well thankfully most men have outgrown that. They want to please and they come prepared to please.

So it’s only human nature for a girl to say, “Hey you’re so hot, dude why don’t you make me come and prove what a man you are?”

Oh sure that’s not intimidating at all! Sure, some dumb guys and jocks will be more than happy to try…and be shocked when they found out that they can’t just force you to come. You have to want to come. You have to be comfortable with him be and comfortable with your own body, in order to experience orgasm.

So yes, we can definitely say that at least half the battle is learning your own body and discovering what makes you aroused and what gives you an orgasm (or multiple orgasms). The idea of a man making a woman come by intercourse alone is statistically unlikely and an idea perpetuated by porn and maybe Hollywood sex.

Realistically, women will come much easier through clitoral stimulation along with vaginal penetration (and or deeper penetration). That means you have to learn the right pressure and timing – touching yourself and having a man touch you – so that you will know just what you need to reach that level of excitement and release. I know it doesn’t seem as sexy as an experienced man who knows your body so well. But I promise you, he will appreciate the fact that you are sexually educated and understand the mystery of your own orgasm. That saves him a lot of wasted time trying the stuff that never works.

Of course learning how to please yourself and “unleashing your naughty side” involves more than just learning physical sensation. You also have to be mentally in touch with your comfort level, your level of arousal, and with your specific turn-ons that make you feel hot and out of control. What we’re going to do now is discuss four ways to better learn your own body and mind. This will allow you unleash your naughty side and actually orgasm louder, stronger and more intensely.

1. Always discuss beforehand what turns you on and what turns you off.

It’s not always romantic to do it like this but it prevents misunderstandings and speeds up the process nicely. Let him know your “hard limits” which refers to stuff you will never find sexy ever, as well as soft limits, which are kinks that can be safely approached. Discuss turn-ons, curiosities and other ideas of what you find sexy. He will do the same. In the end, this keeps you on the same page and builds trust and respect.

2. Summon the power of the Bad Girl.

Even today, women are raised to fear sex, be a “good girl” and to resist the urge to act spontaneously. Thank society and the patriarchy for that. But the good news is you don’t have to subscribe to that attitude now that you know what society does. In fact, letting go of that “nice girl” image, at least inside your own mind, might be one of the best ways to helping bring out that naughty side that your boyfriend really wants to see. If you need a little help, have your boyfriend talk dirty to you and describe a kinky fantasy involving you doing something shocking. In other words, give yourself permission to be naughty and then experience the benefit.

3. Don’t underestimate the joy of the tease.

One of the best ways to make sure you release your naughty side, and his naughty side for that matter, is to actively encourage a playful and teasing relationship. Is it any coincidence that some of the best sex a guy has ever had is always with the woman he had a funny but antagonistic relationship with? This good-natured teasing breaks the ice. It allows the both of you to take risks and to do crazy, unpredictable things that escalate the tension in the relationship. It’s one of the best ways to get over shyness and create a more natural flow of conversation that’s also flirty.

4. Stop apologizing. Be proud of who you are, and rest assured that in his eyes you can do no wrong.

One of the best ways to bring out your naughty side is to follow your sexual “instincts” and to do what feels good, without apology. Touch his body. Take “selfishly” just for your own pleasure. Don’t apologize for being sexual or for doing something that you want. Don’t giggle or ask for feedback. Just do what feels right (and what you both previously discussed as to hard and soft limits) and what comes natural. Maintain tight eye contact when possible. This makes you come across as super confident, the bad girl of his dreams!

Of course, after you learn to relax and unleash this naughty side – which will bring about the best sex ever – he’s going to think it was all because of him. He’s just that good! Even though technically, you both did your part, there’s no harm in stroking his ego a little bit. Now he’s seeing stars, thinking you’re the best lover he’s ever had…and guess what? With your knowledge and expertise, you ARE the best he’s ever had!

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Talk soon,

Matthew Coast

P.S. If you’ve been banging your head against the wall because you’ve fallen for a man who’s frustratingly unavailable…

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Matthew Coast

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