Whether you’re in a long-distance relationship because of an emergency situation or because of other factors that can’t be avoided, like dating someone from another country, it really is a test of your love.
Many don’t know this but I spent about 7 years traveling without a home base (meaning everything I own came with me in suit cases).
And I’ve been in two different long distance relationships in that time. And here’s some of what I’ve discovered…
When love comes too easy, we don’t tend to appreciate it. We may wonder if something better is just around the corner. By nature, when love is challenging and we actually have to work at the relationship, we appreciate it more. We treasure our love more.
So don’t view the challenge of a long-distance relationship as a nightmare or your own private misery. It’s a test. It’s a test to see if your love is real – his feelings for you and your feelings for him.
Maybe you wonder to yourself if this is real love or if the challenge of the LDR is what’s keeping you hanging on. Wonder no more! In this article, we’re going to discuss some signs that this LDR IS worth the wait and is showing signs of real love – not just infatuation and not just because you want it to happen.
If it’s real love you WILL know…because you will see the signs. Here we go…
1. You are not bored with each other. Every date is a new discovery.
You know how some couples get bored with each other? Well, not you two! Instead, you see every virtual date as a new experience to share. You both use your imagination to come up with new ideas. You share your lives together, as if you were already a married couple. You enjoy the intimacy you have, even if it’s from a distance. That’s an amazing feeling.
2. You have mutual long-term goals.
One of the reasons couples do break up is because they have very little in common besides just sex. However, when you both have long-term goals you simply “grow into each other” with time. You’re not even that tempted by other opportunities because even if they happen? You’re not interested in them. You’re both working towards shared goals, THAT’S what you want. That’s the only thing that really tempts you. Shared lifestyles and shared goals are among the most important factors in relationships that last a lifetime.
3. You don’t avoid arguing – you just avoid hurting each other.
One problem that actually unravels pretty good relationships is when couples don’t talk. They might feel embarrassed to talk or simply avoid conflict altogether because they think arguing is a negative thing. Arguing is not a negative thing to be avoided, it’s just a fact of life!
What is harmful, however, is this attitude of avoiding each other and avoiding any conflict. That slowly chips away at trust and respect. It pushes you away from each other rather than strengthening the bond you’ve created. Couples who break up always stop talking to each other – and usually because of that. Because they’re afraid of another argument.
But arguing is natural. Hurting each other’s feelings is the problem. As much as possible remember to talk about the issue and try to find common ground. Negotiate a solution rather than making personal attacks. You both win the argument if you figure out a way to keep the peace.
4. You’re not clinging to each other. You both live independent, happy lives.
Couples that self-destruct seem to become obsessive – maybe one or even both partners. If you lose control of your emotion and start to become possessive of your LDR boyfriend, he will start to feel smothered. He may rebel against your tight grip by wanting more independence. Do you give him what he wants or just tighten that leash? That’s what’s going to push him away. You have to trust each other to make a long-distance relationship work.
5. You always make time for each other and share each other’s lives.
Making time for each other and keeping dates regular is a major step forward. If you neglect scheduling dates, the relationship will suffer. But making time for each other and prioritizing your relationship above everything else will intensify the feelings you have. You will build routines together. You will look forward to hearing your partner’s voice and confiding in him. Likewise, he will find your attention comforting. This routine will continue for a lifetime! Start now, by creating these routines and sticking to a schedule.
6. You are honest about everything.
Your first reaction might be to hide the truth but it almost NEVER helps! Instead, being honest with each other and talking through your challenges, temptations, and dilemmas is the best policy. Whether you’re tempted by someone else, have another job offer, or basically any other scenario, you can discuss the situation as a couple. No secret, just sharing feelings. Just honesty.
Over time, you will find that honesty is the “glue” of the relationship. You can confess anything and so nothing is taboo. You work through problems. You earn each other’s respect. If you both have that wonderful dynamic going now, hold onto it and make every effort to keep that open-mindedness. It’s something not all couples have. But the ones that do stay together for life are almost always honest and forthcoming. There are no secrets with someone you dearly love.
7. You communicate your needs openly with each other.
When you’re in a LDR that lasts several months or even years you learn to anticipate and discuss your partner’s needs. This may involve conversation, trust-building, affection, and making on-camera dates. When the time is right, it might also involve sex.
Sex is a need and the two of you should discuss it openly – including what you want and what he wants. How can you negotiate a compromise? Is there a virtual solution that works for both of you – so that neither of you is miserable nor waiting in celibacy?
What about other issues? Can you compromise? Don’t be shy. Voicing your needs and your expectations WILL help you keep the lines of communication open.
As you can see, real love lasts as long as you both live. Even under adversity and even when things go wrong, your love only grows. You see each other as a source of comfort, a shield from everything else wrong with the world!
A relationship defined by convenience or other shallow qualities will fade. It won’t be “worth it” because it’s not a relationship defined by love or compatibility.
If you’re in a relationship that STILL fulfills you and makes you happy, even in spite of not being together in person, if you can still laugh with him, cry with him, and feel the passion over webcam or texting, then that’s real.
That’s the love that’s going to last longer than a temporary challenge that keeps you apart. Believe in love…and more importantly, believe in each other.
Make His Heart Crave You Even If You’re Far Away
Let’s face it, most long distance relationships are hard… and most of them don’t even last 5 months.
What if the distance could actually make you feel closer together?
What if you could make him miss and crave you, even when you’re far apart?
Most women actually push a man further away in a long distance relationship when they want to make him come closer.
There’s one thing you need to do to be different… to make your relationship last… to make this situation bring you closer together… to make him value and crave you, even if he’s far apart from you.
Want to know what it is?
Click here to find out more <<
Talk soon,
Matthew Coast
P.S. If you want to make his heart crave you, no matter how far away you are from him… do this…
Click here to find out more <<
Hi Matthew, i am in a LDR, have been almost 3 years (January 2022), he left one month later. He is military, his mission has him in the middle east. We have passed the test if time but, we don’t argue or get upset with one another, we have talked about future goals, we have talked about marraige, we have even discussed the wedding arrangements. So my situation is just a little different. Could you send a video or discussion regarding a LDR which involves (military), its just a different situation than just living apart from each other. His current mission, we don’t get a chance to connect as often as we did in the beginning, i just don’t want our union to weaken. Can you give some pointers on that? Thank you, you are the best. Keep up the good work, you’re awesome.
Great information. This is already being applied In my relationship. Thanks Matthew
Great insight! Thank you so much Matthew ❤️
My LDR lasted 2 and half years and I miss him everyday we were talking about marriage and would send eachother wedding songs pics of the dress I wanted and the places we thought about for the ceremony but he started to worry he wasn’t enough for me that he wasn’t good enough I tried to assure him he was but here we are a year of no contact tho his current girl messages me because she thinks we are still in contact ( we are not) but she seems to think we are he’s the type that if she keeps accusing him he will message me just to get to her and I’m afraid if he does I won’t be able to tell its just to prove a point to her and I will fall hard for him again
Darling,
You know what he’s like given her behaviour if she is behaving like that it’s not for no reason.
As a sign his mind at least is not remaining committed, and if the security of your relationships foundations is indeed feeling like it might be a problem, I would probably just cut the tie and go full non contact n block her too
Cut the cord n go full non contact.
L&L
ZaniaanimA<£<$¢¶¥>€>
My husband and I were in a long distance relationship when he left to go to University after living together prior to him going. After 8 months he cheated on me and I ended the relationship and did not want to see him. He was desperate not to lose me and would not let me go. I said to him we would see each other when he came back to the home he had shared with me, but opined I’d not consider myself in a committed relationship but we would see how it went. We got married 6 months after he finished University and are still together now. But it was not easy and it took a long time for me to trust him again.
Beautiful story. Thank you for sharing.
Hi mathrew so I met a guy on bumble we have been talking every day from 6am till 930pm every day we both really like each other this means something doesn’t it we have lots common interests we have made plans meet but he’s work gets in the way
If he really wants to meet you, but has heavy work commitments, can you travel to meet him? Why not throw the question out there?
I was in a long distance relationship and felt a great connection with his man. I end up breaking up with him because our in person meeting time in 2 years was for 15 days. it started bothering me but not him. i felt like i wanted more from the relationship than he could offer. He also couldn’t move back in the country for 7yrs.
Hi Mathew l have been chatting to a man we are in a LDR we love each other and l am going to see him soon he talks the future with me and so do l he wants me to be his daughters mum and he wants to be my sons dad do think we have a future together
Brilliant Matthew. I wish I had read this before making my mistakes. You definitely need to make date nights and plans for the future
LDR i’ve been in a long distance relationship since Covid 2020 at first it was an ups and downs and he is also in the military working as a contractor on ship, we both had a lot in common. He had lost his wife to lung cancer, I realize even though you lost a person that you loved and they had passed ,it becomes sensitive material to discuss wait until they feel like they can talk. During this time we become best friends we’re both at an age he is 63 going on 64 and I am 70 We both realize that playing games is not the ticket once you put your cards on the table of what your needs are and what your wants and your values and your boundaries and what you want in a partner and if those needs are met and we go forward and seal the deal. Now it’s been three years and he’s now getting out of the service of his contract and he’s going to be heading home looking forward to it start a new chapter this is true love ❤️ and meeting your internal soulmate for life❣️Boulder Colorado
My man is in jail. He owns up to his mistakes. I understand his motivations and I don’t hold this against him . Its a kind of LDR because we don’t get to be face to face. We’re in love and finally, I’m a happier person than I have been in a long, long time. We’re best friends. I won’t let go of him, I moved my whole life to be near him. I really miss the physical intimacy and I’m struggling.
Hi Matthews am Jane am looking for a long relationship man but I have a problem.