What Men Will NEVER Tell You About What They Want In Bed

What does a man want in bed? Does he have unspeakable fantasies that he never tells anyone? Or does he simply want the wild sex they depict in porn or Hollywood thrillers? Why does it seem so difficult to get a man to open and just tell you what he secretly wants in bed?

The answer could be anything from, “He’s afraid that you’ll laugh at him” to “He doesn’t even know what he wants.” But there are ways of learning what he wants and providing him that ultimate sexual fantasy that he dare not speak, but actually longs to try.

In other articles on this site, we’ve discussed how to break the “dead bed” of a long-term relationship. The cool thing is, whether you’re trying to rekindle your sex life or just having sex for the first time, the same lessons apply. While it’s not fair to say that you should be the only one “providing” for your guy sexually, I guarantee you if you do your homework and actually research what most guys like in bed (but are ashamed to admit) he will be amazed.

Here are six unspeakable fantasies and techniques that he wants to try…if only he had the guts to say them out loud!

1. He wants to play the Dom.

Not the Don, as in Don Corleone but the Dom—as in the dominant, aggressive and ultra sexy Christian Grey type macho man. Whether he’s a world class lifter or even the Chess Champion of his college, all guys love the fantasy of being a hard-talking Dom who makes rough love to his submissive love slave. The fact that this fantasy is somewhat politically incorrect certainly does NOT hinder his excitement for it…but the stigma of being a jerk does sometimes keep him from saying it aloud.

2. No wait…he wants to be controlled!

No, no don’t think that men are confusing and complicated just because they fantasize about being both dominant and submissive to you. The truth is that most men are a “Switch” and they want to experience both fantasies. It turns him on to feel in control. But it also turns him onto feel as if he’s losing control. That’s why many men (especially younger men) fantasize about older women seducing them and showing them exactly what to do. So don’t be afraid to switch it up and actually become a “domme” or dominatrix just to see how he likes it. Most guys will, especially when you start demanding they sexually satisfy you and bring you to orgasm. Men are natural pleasers and they will answer this call to action!

3. He likes the butt stuff…but shhhh don’t tell him I told you that.

You’re probably thinking anal sex and you’d be right…but it’s not THAT kind of anal sex. While some guys might have taboo fantasies about trying anal on you, MORE guys are probably fantasizing about you anally stimulating them. And believe it or not, you are far more likely to give them pleasure from a “prostate massage” than they are to enjoy anal sex with you. (Not necessarily knocking anal sex…just saying that comparatively, the male G-spot in the anus has way more nerve endings than the female anus…bet you didn’t learn that on Sesame Street!)

The male prostate massage can be performed by inserting two fingers into the guy’s anus, about two inches up. Use the “come hither” gesture, sort of like the way he finds your G-spot and you will feel a patch of flesh that feels different. You can stroke this spot with your fingers while stimulating his penis and give him a huge almost-uncomfortable level orgasm. If he or you are feeling “icky” about butt stuff, you can also reach that spot indirectly on the perineum. The perineum is that patch of skin in between the anus and the scrotum (balls). It will feel tight, almost like a small pipe underneath the skin…especially when he tenses his pelvic muscles right before orgasm.

4. He wants to hear you to dirty talk.

I know I’ve said before that you don’t HAVE to use dirty words just to be a good dirty talker. But I would be lying if I said that most guys don’t like it. They LOVE it! They grow up around their strict mothers and then date a few nice girls who recoil at the thought. Imagine your guys happiness when he finds out you can dirty-talk with the best of them. Yes, it helps to learn the pacing of dirty talking so that you don’t repeat the same word over and over again. But if you’re wondering if the best way to finish him off is to go extreme, graphic, LOUD and orgasmic you’re @#*$ing right about that!

5. He wants you to surprise him. He wants to feel outmatched!

Guys expect a woman who will tolerate eroticism and lots of kinky sex. Imagine his surprise and relief when he actually meets a woman who is even hornier and more sexually liberated than he is. That means you’re first to talk about fantasies and to goad him into telling his fantasies. You masturbate in front of him, you touch yourself during sex because you want to come—and know exactly how to do it. You surprise him by introducing toys, massage oils, sexy games or role playing and dress up into your sex life. You may even change the location of sex and dare him to have sex in a “dangerous” (but not so dangerous!) public place. He wants you to treat sex like a game—like a red-hot lover, not his well behaved “wife”.

6. He wants you to embrace erotica, porn and fantasizing about other people.

He might never say this since that implies that he’s one of those sexist pigs who “demands” that you please him and support those unrealistic caricatures of real women that exist in porn. But he’s definitely thinking, “Wouldn’t it be great if I met a woman who wasn’t threatened by sexuality?” Just because he finds the idea of polyamorous love sexy does NOT mean that he actually wants to do it in real life, or that he would force you to do it. Usually he just wants to think about the fantasy and have you play along because that’s sexy! Men like theatrical presentation. They like videos, games, even little strip shows that you put on for him. Men are, after all, just boys in a bigger body. They want sex to be fun, naughty and sometimes even a little silly. Most men DON’T want mature or “classy” sex which feels a little dull. They want you to enjoy wild and crazy sex just as much as they do.

It’s true that men don’t always have the exact same fantasies or sexual kinks. But what most of them do have is that strong urge to play, to please you, and to explore sexuality in new and amazing ways that they never thought possible. Surprise him with your level of kink and he will think you’re the sexiest woman in the world—and well worth the wait.

40 Flirty Texts That Men Absolutely Love

If you’re struggling to figure out what to say to your man to bring you closer together, I’ve put together a guide of 40 fun and flirty text messages that will spark a stronger and deeper desire in whatever man you use them with.

If you don’t know what to say to your man, use these “cut and paste” text messages from my free guide and watch how much he absolutely loves it!

Click Here to Get My Free Text Message Guide Now

 

 

 

 

 

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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