5 Signs He Wants You to Talk Dirty During Sex

Is it true that all men like dirty talking and all men are as, as Janet Jackson once called, Nasty Boys at heart? Believe it or not, a good percentage of men don’t like dirty talking—even though your ex, his friends, and their sponsor all seem to love it.

Well of course they do. Because of porn culture, as well as dirty talking comedians, and adult cartoons on Comedy Central, swearing is sometimes seen as a cool thing to do. Some men do feel a rush when they swear. And they like the idea of letting all inhibitions go and saying what they’re really thinking—those, unfiltered racy monologues that would make even EL James blush.

But hey, guess what? Not every man likes dirty talking. Some men might not like it for a number of reasons, including:

• The idea that it degrades women
• Religious guilt
• Embarrassment
• Dislike of swear words
• Fear of sounding silly
• Or simply put, the idea that using euphemisms or swear words to describe body parts just isn’t that sexy to them

So while you might want to bet money that the average guy in a bar likes dirty talking, there are some men out there that don’t want to do it.

Now where it becomes a problem for you is when you can’t figure out whether your guy loves dirty talking and is just too shy to ever mention it, or if he really doesn’t like it. Don’t assume. And I definitely advise you NOT to launch into a XXX-rated tirade and hope your boyfriend will play along.

I mean, just imagine the awkwardness of that conversation if it turns out he doesn’t like dirty talk!

Here’s a better idea. Analyze the signs that he might actually be turned on by dirty talk and then, once you’re convinced he’s getting excited at the idea, ask him if he wants to try it. Here are 10 signs that suggest he’s definitely ready and willing to take it to the extreme.

1. He teases you about being a bad girl.

Any references to you being bad, or needing a spanking, or to be tied up, or anything else kinky may be his way of testing you. If you respond coldly, he will assume you’re not into it. But if you tease him back, he will take that as a positive sign.

2. He seems very interested in talking about sex…even though you always seem to lead the conversation.

Thoughtful guys may follow your lead when it comes to sexual topics. They don’t want to come across as too aggressive or horny—they want to be a gentleman! They may even shy away from sexual topics and spend most of the early courtship teasing you, making you laugh, and engaging in intelligent conversation. If though, you notice that your guy really comes alive when sex does come up—and he seems to be pushing you to talk more about it and with more vivid imagery—then he may be hinting to you that he likes dirty talking and dirty dealing!

Usually men that don’t like dirty talking will blush and avoid the conversation, or perhaps will take a more romantic spin on the topic, rather than focusing on sex. They may even consider sexual topics as “gutter talk” or uncivilized. They’re usually more interested in experiencing sex then actually talking about it.

3. He swears only every once in a while, usually to express feelings of desire, hunger and passion.

Obviously if your boyfriends swears all the time, this might not be a telling sign. But if he does swear, at seemingly random places in the conversation, he may be testing you to see how you respond to “dirty talking” in general, if it’s not used in a sexual way. If you don’t seem bothered by it, or swear right along with him, he may get an impression that you’re wild.

4. He mentions well known cultural icons, sexy movies or edgy TV shows, eager to know what you think—and how YOU feel about it.

Whether it’s casually mentioning Fifty Shades of Grey, or shower scenes in Orange is the New Black, or a joke he heard last week about Tantric sex and phone sex…he’s definitely fishing for your feedback on all these kinky ideas. If you seem relaxed about sex, nudity, swearing, kink, and the like, then he will get the impression you have a sexy dark side just dying to come out.

5. When you talk on the phone or via texting, your guy focuses deeply on describing sensual feelings, as if he wants you to feel them too.

One of the first things a guy does before asking about dirty talking is to gauge how sensual you are feeling. In other words, this is like dirty-talking without the actual “dirty” talking. He asks you about your feelings, your romantic feelings, sensual feelings, and emotional attraction. He starts talking about your beauty, or how you make him feel, and how excited he would be to kiss you…

And then you notice he begins to pause, hoping you’ll add more detail to the fantasy. He seems to become more expressive as you give him feedback, especially if you answer in a soft, high pitched voice. He takes your sexy voice as a signal to keep going and to make the feelings even more intense!

Remember to approach your suspicion that he likes dirty talking with tact. Don’t assume that he does but do give him the impression that you’re open-minded and definitely intrigued at the idea. You could even toy with him a bit and hint around that you’re an awesome dirty-talker and have experience in making men sweat! Hey, guys do like mysterious women!

The key is to follow his pace and let him broach the subject. Don’t be too overeager to discuss it, but don’t shy away from it. Impress him by coming across as cool and collected…and with a wild side that matches his own!

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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