What Is NSA Relationship (Everything You Need To Know)

You might notice that in online dating (and just a lot of men in general) say upfront they want a No-Strings-Attached relationship, abbreviated NSA. What does it mean? Does it mean one thing to men and another thing to women?

Beyond that, what are the “rules” in case you do want an NSA relationship? What does a guy expect you to do and not do?

Understanding the definition and the concept of an NSA is important, because yes, it can mean different things to different people. More to the point, sometimes men say they want an NSA when they actually don’t.

Confused? Let’s talk about it.

What Does NSA Usually Mean?

No-Strings-Attached doesn’t necessarily mean a one-night stand, even though it definitely could. NSA simply means there are no “strings” or requirements attached to this arrangement. You both have the ability to call it off at any time, without any guilt, drama or hassle.

Will you have sex? Not necessarily. There’s no requirement to have sex, unless you both want it. If you do decide to make love, afterwards, there are no rules or expectations. You can leave it as a one-night stand or if you BOTH wish to pursue it, you can. The important thing is that neither of you feel forced to do anything. It’s up to the two of you to decide the fate of the relationship at any given moment.

Now generally speaking, when most people talk about NSA relationships it means “NO COMMITMENT.” They are not looking for a long-term relationship. They’re not necessarily opposed to one, but it’s usually NOT with you, not right now. You must accept this and not be secretly hoping to seduce him into a relationship because nine out of ten times, it’s a waste of your effort.

Does this mean NSA is another word for Friends with Benefits? Or is it just a one-night stand, just strictly sexual? It could be either one actually. He might want sex with one of his female buddies, or he might never want to see you again after one night. That’s up for the two of you to decide.

Just know, however, there is no such thing as being faithful in an NSA relationship. It’s open and without rules or exclusivity. You both have the right to date or have sex with other people, without the “rule” of confessing what happened. There are plenty of secrets in NSA relationships, because honesty, love and commitment is usually not what’s on your minds.

NSA is mostly sexual, though it’s perfectly reasonable to be friends with your F-buddy. Some NSA couples like to go out, have dinner or go to a concert, have sex, and then go their separate ways.

It’s not for everyone, however…especially if you’re currently looking for a long-term relationship.

You Probably Don’t Want an NSA…But If You Do, Read This!

The reason I say you probably don’t is because statistically speaking, a lot of women actually try to turn their casual sex partner into a serious boyfriend. Women are usually attracted to an emotional connection, the close feelings that develop after sex, after conversation, and getting to know someone. It’s natural to feel this way…but…

It’s a big mistake! Because the guy is the exact opposite of you. He only wants sex and has already friend-zoned you in advance as a serious dating partner. So don’t fool yourself into thinking you can turn a FWB into a boyfriend. It usually never happens because once a man sleeps with you, and he never experiences any emotional connection, he CLOSES his mind to the idea of falling in love. He got what he wanted and is no longer searching for love, at least not in this relationship.

You have to postpone sex with a guy you like, so that he actually takes the time in getting to know you. Once you create an emotional connection and start bonding as friends, his desire for “just sex” will go soft, pun intended.

He will still want sex and be attracted to you, but now that you’re connected, it will be a more emotional and fulfilling experience. He will want to test your compatibility and see if you match him in personality. He will want to know your values, goals and lifestyle, to see if it matches with his.

As you can see, by nature, the NSA affair and long-term relationship are opposites in many ways, even though we sometimes fool ourselves into thinking we can transform one into the other.

Reminders for NSA Affairs

That said, if you decide you just want to have sex with a guy and chalk it up to a learning experience, don’t be ashamed. Don’t think that you HAVE to fall in love with every man you sleep with. Many women are capable of having strictly sexual affairs just the same as men are. You might want a man for his good looks, good body, or maybe his sense of humor. Some men are just in the right place at the right time and that’s perfectly fine.

Still, there are a few rules to live by, even if you want to take more chances in life.

1. Always use a condom, even with friends with benefits. The risk of an STD increases when you sleep with more than one partner. If he doesn’t want to wear a condom, he should get tested regularly.
2. Don’t get jealous and don’t try to change him. Just appreciate him for the moment. Be happy for him if he decides he wants to fall in love with someone else. He is a friend and that’s all he will ever be.
3. Don’t sleep with a guy just because you feel sorry for him or just because you feel pressured to do so. That doesn’t work. And this is usually the type of relationship that you actually regret later on.
4. Don’t feel obligated to continue an NSA affair just because he keeps calling you. If you decide you’ve had enough, you don’t owe him an explanation.
5. An NSA can help some women to learn something about themselves. It’s beneficial for the right kind of personality. It helps you discover what you want and don’t want.
6. But you may or may not be that type of personality. Don’t assume you have to go out and sleep with a stranger just because a lot of other women do it. Not everyone is “built” for the swinging lifestyle.
7. Don’t sleep with a platonic friend. Sex actually ruins the friendship more often than it improves it. You’re mixing two different worlds here and the results are very often catastrophic.

NSA relationships can be a lot of fun or a big headache. For the best results, determine in advance what you want out of the relationship and what you don’t want. Knowing in advance how the relationship ends, and sticking to your plan, will help avoid misunderstandings. Make a list of the pros and cons of the guy you like (but definitely don’t love) and see what happens!

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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