Flirting – it’s something everyone THINKS they know how to do. Until that time actually comes and then it’s super awkward! You worry about what you said and if it sounded weird. You worry about coming on too strong. You worry about being too subtle and not getting the guy’s attention at all.
On the other hand, the guy worries about being friend-zoned and then decides to be “confident” and try something bold and outrageous. And yeah, very often times it just comes across as weird!
Maybe the problem is, not that we’ve forgotten what flirting is, but rather we’ve forgotten the basic strategies of flirting. Instead of learning flirting strategies we’re treated to scenes from Hollywood romances where everything is so perfect.
No, your flirting style doesn’t have to be perfect or over-the-top. But it must be communicative, with more direct interaction that begs a response. That’s how romance gets started and when we avoid going after what we want, that’s when things get awkward and unsexy.
Here are five ways to flirt that are psychologically proven to get results and change the dynamic of a platonic conversation.
1. Stronger and Longer Eye Contact
The worst way to start a romance is to run away with your eyes – escaping the encounter and essentially telling the guy “No, I don’t want to talk to you anymore.” This might be instinctive for shy or introverted people but it’s something we must learn to avoid if we want to pursue new relationships. Stronger eye contact immediately tests sexual tension. Eye contact lasting beyond four seconds gets a man’s attention. You can get a sense of the intimacy and mutual attraction that might exist with just a series of five-second stares. (Just remember to break away now and then so that he doesn’t get a stalker vibe!)
While a person having dilated pupils would be a subtle sign of attraction, an even better indicator of pleasure is a smile. Keep your smile going as you maintain eye contact. The more he smiles at you in return, the better the chemistry you have.
2. Confidence…In Voice and Posture
Practically everyone knows confidence is key to being a good flirt, good lover, and good all-around person. But besides the old “believe in yourself” mantra, what does confidence look like?
To some extent, confidence is the absence of second-guessing yourself. You resist the urge to hold back. You take a deep breath and avoid stuttering or rambling. You speak slowly, clearly, and you go after exactly what you want.
Physically though, confidence is all about posturing and varying the tone of your voice. When it comes to flirting, men try to maintain a dominant and attentive pose, while women maintain a more feminine and welcoming posture. Once you assume this posture, positive body language follows, such as leaning in closer, tilting your head, and keeping your arms and legs slightly open rather than defensively closed.
Varying the tone of voice is another way to express sexual confidence. Whereas someone shy and awkward has negative energy and an uncomfortable voice, an experienced flirt has mastered controlling their voice and varying the tone of voice to create sexual feelings.
For example, a slower pace of conversation that seems more intimate. Or a higher pitch of voice, to show a man you’re excited by his presence. A man might also express a dominant voice with more power. Both a man and woman will also project more sexual energy if they remain relaxed in the other’s presence while still experimenting with “peaks” in the conversation, in essence, mimicking the ebb and flow of sex.
Not coincidentally, in various scientific studies, women who were described as “monotonous” in tone received less romantic interest from men. Men desire passion. Voice and posture are how we show passion.
3. More Touching
Say what you will about “platonic touching” among friends, most platonic friends just don’t touch each other constantly. Now that’s not to say it’s impossible!
But when a man and woman are all over each other with “platonic” shoulder touches, hair rubs, hugs, and lingering handshakes, it’s usually based on strong mutual desire.
Tactile contact is simply the next stage in courtship after a flirty banter is started. In fact, most studies show that women in nightclubs were more responsive to men who were slightly more “touchy-feely” before asking a woman to dance. Touching your crush is a confident thing to do and it’s going after what you want.
The challenge is to avoid coming across as “too hands-on” and instead, to keep things subtle and non-invasive. Tease him with a touch at pivotal moments in the conversation and leave him wanting more.
4. Make Each Other Laugh
The laughs you and another person enjoy together is indicative of your chemistry. When you’re on the same wavelength and laugh at each other’s jokers, or even better, you giggle at each other’s statements (for no apparent reason except that you like to flirt and talk) then this is a great sign of romantic compatibility.
Actually, how often a couple laughs during courtship is a fairly good indicator of how much desire they have for each other! In fact, some psychologists believe that our compatible sense of humor is one of the factors that determine if we like the other person. The ability to be funny implies wit, creativity, and confidence, which are attractive qualities.
5. Play Hard to Get (or just plain hard-edged!)
Finally, there is some eternal truth to the old adage that “women play hard to get, and men play the bad boy.” Both of these flirting strategies are similar in concept. Women play hard to get so that men chase them harder. Men find more of a challenge in a woman that flirts with them and yet “resists” them, making them work harder for what they want.
And men play “hard-edged” or bad to the bone so that women enjoy more of a challenge out of the romance. Studies show that more women find brooding, prideful or “bad boy” types of guys more interesting compared to guys who are simply nice or traditional in their romantic approach. Again, the “challenge” of a relationship seems more appealing than just settling for what is easily available.
Flirting strategies are just that: approaches we use to discover romance. We can never “force” romance to happen if the chemistry isn’t there. So don’t’ beat yourself up too much over the mistakes of the past. Be open-minded and strategic and test the chemistry. You may be surprised at what you find out about a new love interest!
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5 word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…