Sex is a very pleasurable and yet profound experience. It’s hard to imagine not responding emotionally to it, at least on some level, even if it’s not always a romantic feeling.
When virgins have sex for the first time, it’s important that the experience be “special” and loving, because a negative experience can emotionally damage a young mind.
After sex happens, there is a release of endorphins, as well as a surge in oxytocin, the natural love drug. This results in a euphoric high (that’s enhanced even more by orgasm). The result is very often to feel something deeper for the person with whom you’ve shared the intimate experience. Eye contact, touching each other’s bodies, and being naked together also create intimacy. It’s very hard to remain “platonic” buddies after you kill that tension with some great sex!
The question is, do men really think differently than women after sex? We all know the cliché. The butch man gets dressed, gets quiet, and wants to leave ASAP while the woman feels needy and wonders if she’ll ever see him again. But it’s a cliché that has been retired in recent decades, now that sex is usually not treated as a predecessor to marriage and family. Women have one night stands too without falling in love. Some men can actually be very sensitive when it comes to the aftermath of sex or even in wanting commitment.
But there’s one thing that some women still don’t understand about men and the post-sex conversation. Men do not always want just sex. Men are not always cruel and cold just because they orgasm. And believe it or not, a man finally having sex with his crush is NOT always the reason he breaks up with her.
One cliché you might say has some truth to it is the notion that women have more complex sexual desires than men do. Heterosexual men want sex because they’re biologically inclined to please and chase women. Not every woman will be the object of a man’s affection, but naturally, men will find a much wider pool of potential mates. Women are attracted to men who offer something unique, special, whether that’s high-value and specific qualities, or just the right timing, where she is looking for a relationship.
You might say that while women immediately consider the pros and cons of a sexual relationship with a man, since she gets approached more often, men are less likely to give it serious thought UNTIL they have sex.
That clears a man’s mind, that fulfills his need, and that allows him to think about all those pros and cons of an adult relationship. (Which as many people know are oftentimes difficult to manage!)
Let’s then consider six things a man does think after having sex with you (yes you!) and let’s try to follow his thought process to better understand how to improve communication.
1. This is bleeping amazing!
Well yeah, that’s the first thing. Men love sex with women and consider it the best damned thing since the Superbowl when they actually do get laid. The euphoria they experience is real. Even the intimacy that you feel with a man is real, regardless of how he “changes” in the next moment. He feels great joy in coming AND in pleasing a woman. He’s in a great mood post-orgasm.
Now here’s where the complication begins.
2. Was it worth it?
Now that he has had what he’s been chasing so long, he thinks the simple thought of “Was it worth it? Worth the effort, the money, the emotion, the conversation, the flirting, the hard work that I put into dating her?” If the sex was average or below average, and he worked very hard to earn it, his satisfaction level goes down, along with his penis.
On the other hand, if it was too easy and he hardly worked at all for her approval, he suddenly sees a decrease in value. As in, “Anyone could have had sex with her…she’s not picky.” He enjoyed the affair but suddenly realizes he loves sex – not necessarily you. He may not even feel that he knows you at all.
3. Wow, she was amazing! Okay…I’m still intrigued!
If you are “really good” in bed then rest assured you are not going to be immediately dumped. Men enjoy being with women who are interested in sex, aggressive in the bedroom, and who surprise them by being just as into it as they are.
The reason why men back off is due to bad sex or glaring incompatibility. They will usually keep you as FWB even if they sense the relationship is going nowhere, just because good sex is hard to find!
4. Errmmm…except I didn’t like that one thing she said/did.
After men orgasm they do suddenly become a little bit more like Simon Cowell, it’s true. They think back to any intimate moment where they felt embarrassed, violated, unappreciated or even grossed out. They suddenly become XXX-Factor judges, go figure.
That’s why it’s always important to have good sex and a good bedside manner, if a man trusts you enough to take you to bed.
How can you “blow” the audition? Usually it’s not about perfection. Yes, men are aware real sex is not like porn…but they are still very sensitive when it comes to a woman mocking them or showing disrespect. Complaining, laughing at the wrong time, or even giving him a funny look when you first see his penis can stick with a man.
5. Was she faking it? Or am I that good?
Yes and yes. Men want to think that they’re expert lovers and do worry about a lover faking it. But if you’re determined to have an orgasm, and not just waiting for him to give you one, you can put his mind at ease.
6. Uh oh.
It’s accurate to say, “Uh oh” is the next stage post-euphoria, right about the time afterglow sets in. He enjoys the “now”, the intimacy, the release of tension. But now he’s wondering if this means you’re a couple. If you’re going to fall in love with him. If he made a mistake. If you’re accidentally pregnant, if you have an STD, if you’re married or have a significant other, and basically any other paranoid thought that might go through his head.
Weather the storm by simply relaxing, chilling out and letting him “lead” as always. Be comfortable in bed with him but don’t overstay your welcome. A man is relieved when he meets a woman who is cool with sex and who doesn’t immediately change just because it happened. As long as you stay the same mysterious and intriguing person you were before (and you didn’t have sex with him too soon) he’s more than likely going to want to see you again.
The secret to winning a man’s heart is to invest more time in getting to know him before sex happens. Building an emotional connection beforehand will only intensify your feelings for each other after that euphoria sets in. Keep him waiting for sure…but definitely make it worth his while when you’re ready.
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5 word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…
