Text Messages to Get Your Ex Back

At some point, after the break up and after the “no contact rule” (for at least several months or longer) your ex may reach out to you by text, phone call or other means. In some cases you might send a text to your ex first, in the event that he never contacts you.

Talk about pressure! What are you suppose to say to a man who was such an important part of your life? He was once your everything, the focus of your life, and now he’s just a handsome stranger who’s very “controlled” about the way he feels about you.

Sure it’s an awkward situation. And if you’re determined to talk about your old relationship, or your new relationship, or other painful memories, yes it’s going to be very awkward! Negative feelings are exactly what you don’t want right now!

That’s the reason why you should think about your texts in advance and not “improvise” too much. It’s okay to rehearse or pre-write these texts too, because you’re NOT looking to have a long conversation. That’s a reward he has to earn later. Right now, you’re just keeping it short, sweet and positive.

You’re letting him know that it’s OK to talk to you again. You’re OK with being friends. And you’re OK with creating this new friendly dialog, back and forth, no awkwardness necessary.

The more you concentrate on creating interesting and fun messages, the more attracted to you he will be. And that means the more he will WANT to get back together with you, without manipulation and without being guilted. No guilt, no negativity, and nothing “boring” or uneventful. Let’s consider five types of texts that you can create and add your own personal spin for the best effect.

1. The Introduction

If you’re replying to him, or if you’re sending the first “outreach” text, then it’s important to hit just the right note. You want to demonstrate control, politeness and only positive emotions. Eliminate all trace of negativity.

That does NOT mean you have to be in denial of what happened in the breakup because that is, well, awkward to pretend. So if and when there seems to be this awkward tension about the two of you talking again, just remember this easy formula:

  • Apologize (if you sense your ex is angry)
  • Accept that the relationship is over
  • Show that you have been healing and are in a good place right now
  • Demonstrate how you’ve changed, via picture, casual conversation or just self-improvement.

This text does not have to be dramatic or emotional or even that long and detailed. You can show politeness and inner-happiness with just a few sentences. The most important factor is that you keep it short and keep it positive. You don’t even have to brag about the changes in your life if you don’t think the conversation calls for it.

Remember, if you are making positive changes in your life, he will sense them. The way you talk, the way you text, the way you word things…even in the fact that you’re suddenly very busy.

2. The Fun Text

This is a great one to start with, since it gives him a positive feeling and lets him know that it’s safe to bring his/her old sense of humor back to the relationship. You can share funny things, write funny observations, or even relate funny stories that happened to you or a friend. As always, keep it short. And try to send texts and humorous things that you know your ex would like, since you still have a good grasp of his personality.

3. The Nostalgic Text

The best way to pique the mind of your ex is to send a “nostalgic text”, which references something you remember fondly about your ex. Nothing major (since that might imply you’re still in love with him), but perhaps something about a movie he liked, a book, a song, or an entertainer. Letting him know you were thinking about him is a compliment, and yet it doesn’t reek of desperation. It simply makes you more human to him and gives his feeling validation—since I promise you, he’s still thinking about you!

As you begin to build more trust and get more encouragement from him, you can start to add stronger statements like “Wish you could have seen it with me” or “Made me think of the last time we were there.” But just remember to meet him only “halfway” and don’t move any faster or farther than at the rate he’s going.

4. The “Perfect Woman” Text

This is one of the most effective methods in getting your ex back through texting. By now you know your ex very well. You know what he likes, what tempts him, what makes him laugh and what makes him emotional. You probably know who his ideal woman is—and what things that he would change about you.

With all this information, you can start crafting “perfect woman” messages that INDIRECTLY let him know you are still his ideal woman. You don’t tell him this (since that seems a bit desperate, doesn’t it?) but you SHOW him. You start telling him about all the cool things you’re doing (which you know he likes), the new things you’re trying (that you know he likes) and basically letting him know that the NEW YOU is awesome.

This is the most seductive thing you can do because he’s going to sense (A) he still has feelings for you (the original you), and (B) you’ve changed in a lot of great ways and now he’s crushing on this cool new person you’ve become.

So you double seduce him! The old casual you he misses and the new and improved you he’s never met. What a great way to get a guy’s attention!

5. The Vulnerability Text

Lastly, there’s the vulnerability text, which is the final stage where you’re ready to talk honestly about the past and the potential future.

Understand that, yes, you do have to become vulnerable again and you can’t keep up an “act” forever. You must forgive him for the past. You want to stay strong and yet sympathetic to his emotional needs. Simply put, you must still love him despite the way things ended.

Rather than focus on too much negativity, try to discuss things with a more positive tone Discuss what you learned about yourself after the break up. Admit your mistakes. Accept his apologies without lecturing. Discuss your VALUES, what’s important in your life besides him.

Finally, encourage HIM to be honest and vulnerable with you and let him know he is always in a safe place. Try to see things from his perspective so that you don’t let memories or angry feelings of the past affect this new relationship.

As you can see, recreating a new relationship from the ground up is a far better way to get back together again, than begging, pleading or guilting him into re-starting the old relationship.

Customize these types of text, in your own voice and personality for the best results.

Why you can’t win back your ex no matter what you try

If you want your ex-boyfriend back but can’t even get him to answer
your calls, you already know how awful it is. . .

That obsessive pain in your chest. . .

How you feel on the edge of tears every moment of every day. . .

How the thought of him talking to… touching. . . being with another
woman just makes you sick. . .

The anger. The nausea. The horrible rejection.

And all those long, sleepless nights staring at the ceiling wondering
WHY. . .?

WHY did he leave?

WHY won’t he talk to you?

WHAT did YOU do to make him walk away?

And HOW do you get him back, loving you, adoring you and promising
never to hurt you like that again?

Well, if you really want him back (and I know how much you do), then
you need to stop everything and go watch this video right now. . .

Click here to watch the video <<

The reason this video is so important is because it teaches you the
REAL reason he won’t come back to you (and why everything you’ve tried
so far has backfired and pushed him further away from you). . .

PLUS it shows you how to seduce that one man back into your life just
by tapping out a few simple messages on your cell phone (even if he
never answers your texts now.)

Click here to watch the video <<

Best,

Matthew Coast

P.S. The reason I like this “Text Your Ex Back” method so much is because
Mike tells you EXACTLY what to do so you can’t really mess it up. . .

Just take a deep breath, follow the steps and relax and you’ll be amazed
at how well it works to bring him back into your life. . .

Click here to watch the video <<

About The Author

Matthew Coast

What's stopping you from meeting Mr Right and having the relationship you want? Click here to take the quiz.

Leave A Response

* Denotes Required Field