How to Make Your Ex Jealous

You can only be jealous of someone who has something you think you ought to have yourself.

-Margaret Atwood

One of the best ways to attract your boyfriend after a breakup, AND after a no contact period afterward, is to make him jealous. First, you occupy his mind, consuming his thoughts, then you make him envy something about you – something specific.

See you can take that Margaret Atwood quote two ways. When a man is jealous of you, he’s jealous not only that he wants you YOU personally, but also of the qualities that you exude. He’s jealous of your inner peace, your personality, and your confidence. He wishes that he could find a girlfriend like you – in addition to already loving you from the previous relationship!

So understanding the psychology behind jealousy is so much more important than just screwing with a guy’s mind for kicks.

In this article, we’re going to discuss some cheap ways to make him jealous…and then an even BETTER way to make him jealous. I think as we review these ideas, you’re going to see a big difference and see exactly why guys respond better to “positive jealousy.”

Good Idea: Sleep with another guy and let your ex know about it.

Better Idea: Get out there and start living!

Sex is only a part of your life. It’s not everything…and if you really want to make your ex jealous you’ll think BIGGER than just bragging about an affair. Try this…instead, start living your life bigger, fuller and with more activity than ever before. Your previous lifestyle, with him, prevented you from enjoying new activities and challenges. Now that’s you’re free you can do everything you always dreamed about doing. Meet new people, vacation in new places, and take up new and exciting hobbies.

When he sees that you’re really changing before his eyes (and of course, why not show pictures on social media?) he will instantly feel a sense of loss and jealousy over how much fun you’re having.

Good Idea: Insult your ex and tell him how you’re doing so much better now that you’re single again.

Better Idea: Don’t just enjoy life…follow your dreams.

There’s no reason to lie or exaggerate about how much better your life is now that you’re free of your ex. It’s actually a much better idea to start accomplishing some professional and personal goals and start following your dreams. You remember…those dreams from years ago that were placed on hold because of the relationship. Now you’re free and you can achieve great things.

This gives you self-confidence and this is what he will find most attractive about you. The evidence that you’ve really changed and that he no longer “knows” you, at least the way he remembers.

Good Idea: Fall in love with another guy who worships you for who you are.

Better Idea: Date other guys but don’t settle down too quick.

Your success shouldn’t depend upon a man – old or new. The idea of you having an active social life is enough to make him jealous. But the idea that you’re not rushing into commitment, and are just letting all these guys fawn over you, is what will get your ex going. He will realize that he still has a chance to win you back, if he sees that you’re not waiting for him…but that you haven’t settled on anyone quite yet.

Really, just the implication that you date – and that’s it’s none of his business – is enough to make him jealous. Rushing into a relationship, just for bragging rights, makes you look desperate to get his attention.

Good Idea: Call or text him periodically to brag about how great your new relationship is and how you’re living an exciting life.

Better Idea: Stay busy.

The busier you are, the more he will sense that he’s actually lost you…and that he misses you dearly. Whereas before you were always available for him, nowadays, you seem busier. You’re harder to catch on the phone, you take longer in responding to texts, and you may have to break plans with him every so often. It’s just harder to give him the attention he wants, since you are now living a life independently of him.

Forget mind games – he will instantly sense when you’re too busy to wait on him and give him the closure he wants. This is a great way to make him jealous and put him on “slow boil” when it comes to jealousy.

Good Idea: Trash his girlfriend and make him wish he was with you again. Brag about all the new Tantric sex acts you’ve learned with your gorgeous beau.

Better Idea: Or even better…just be happy for him.

Believe it or not, less is more here. One of the most obvious signs of jealousy is bad mouthing someone’s girlfriend/boyfriend. You bad mouth that person because you envy what they have.

In the same way, jealousy is best served warm, not cold. As in, “I’m happy for you.” Be supportive of his new relationship. Be kind to his family and go out of your way to talk to them. “Killing him with kindness” works well here, because it shows that you have no regrets, you’re happier now than when you were with him, and you don’t feel the negativity he is still drowning in.

The idea that you’re “winning” this breakup and moving on with your life is one of the most effective ways to poke at his insecurities about his new relationship and his overall attitude in life. Suddenly, he realizes how much he had when he was with you…and how much you’ve changed for the better. He wants that back.

Good Idea: Hit on one of his friends. Word travels fast.

Better Idea: Master the art of seduction by becoming mysterious, not an open book.

It’s pretty obvious what you’re doing if you’re flirting with his friends – and it will probably work. But if you really want him to try harder, and chase you harder, then your goal is not to HURT him – but to attract him.

Becoming a more mysterious woman, changing your behaviors and patterns, and evolving before his very eyes is a great way to get and KEEP his attention. The idea that he can’t figure you out and doesn’t know where the two of you stand, is a far more powerful motivator than just trying to hurt his feelings and cross boundaries.

Trust me…the weapon of jealousy is so much more enticing when you strike at the mind instead of the heart. Anyone can lash out. But it takes a real woman to captivate his mind so that he’ll make the effort to win you back!

40 Flirty Texts That Men Absolutely Love

If you’re struggling to figure out what to say to your man to bring you closer together, I’ve put together a guide of 40 fun and flirty text messages that will spark a stronger and deeper desire in whatever man you use them with.

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About The Author

Matthew Coast

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