If you’ve been texting a guy like you like for a while and he suddenly clams up or becomes “bored” with the conversation then your first reaction might be to stop texting him entirely
Maybe that’s not your instinct…your instinct might well be to keep sending him messages and ask him what’s wrong. What changed? Why aren’t you talking to me?!
But of course, I think you realize why that’s probably not a good idea. So the question is, IF you do suddenly stop texting him, will this get his attention? Will he take the initiative and restart your text conversation? Let’s consider a few points and then ask some questions.
1. Men will not want to text you if everything you say is boring. When you do send a text, are you making it interesting or funny?
Most women don’t put any thought into texting, they just keep the conversation going sending the message: Entertain me! So if you have been texting him for a while and he’s become used to your awesome texts which make him laugh or make him think, chances are he will miss talking to you. He will miss the conversation because he quickly will realize no one else entertains him like you do.
He will probably send a text message to you sooner or later just to see what you’re up to…and also as a subtle hint to keep piquing his mind because he likes it.
If the conversation slowly erodes and eventually you just start asking yes or no questions, then you’ve already lost his interest. And he’s probably hoping that you stop texting him. As a general rule, don’t send lame texts. Don’t send him anything that can be answered with a yes or no. Manage your “texting reputation” and associate yourself with fun, positive feelings.
2. Does the conversation drag at times? Then be busy…end the conversation first.
A man will definitely take you for granted if you are constantly seeking his approval and answering his texts several times a day. In theory, YOU should be busier than he is since this shows him that your time and attention is valuable—that he’s privileged to get texts from you, since you don’t just send messages to anyone.
If you actually notice that he doesn’t text you very often, and wait impatiently for him to reply to you, then you’re probably over-texting him in the first place. It’s time to loosen the reigns, so to speak, and allow him more time to answer you when he has the time.
It also helps if YOU are the person to leave first. If you’re both having a great texting conversation and then a natural lull hits, be the first to say “Gotta go” or “TTYL” so that you leave him wanting more. He’ll naturally look forward to when you return the next day, since you always manage to leave him in a good mood and with positive associations.
If you stop texting him and alter the “schedule” (that is, when he looks forward to reading your newest messages) he will definitely text you and indirectly let you know that you’re late! He wants to read more messages!
3. Are you really making the texts ABOUT HIM? He loves interaction.
Here’s another little secret about texting: Guys love talking about themselves. They love questions that make them think. They love it when a woman challenges them to think deeper, find solutions, and express strong statements. It’s just in their nature.
So if you notice your guy has seemed less interested in answering texts, ask yourself: Are my texts really interactive? Do you they give him the attention he wants and the chance for him to respond with discussion? Or are my texts just recycled Internet memes that kill conversation? Are you inadvertently discouraging replies because you give him nothing to reply to?
Ideally a man wants to laugh but he wants a subject that he can respond to. If he can think of something funny to say, or something deep to think about, then he is emotionally invested in the conversation. He feels better just by delivering his opinion.
Case in point: even if a man is not attracted to you, a conversation where he gets to shine and talk freely will be hard to pass up. Men do it on Facebook pages all the time!
So if you stop texting him, and he stops being the center of attention, he will definitely notice! He will not be having as much fun and will wonder why all the fun had to stop. He’ll be eager to start talking again and sharing his wit and wisdom. Men are, after all, looking for a good time wherever they go and it’s no different in texting.
As you can see, the real answer to this question depends on what the dynamic of your texting conversation has been over the last few weeks. You should be able to sense if he’s getting bored based on how long his replies are.
I would also venture to say that while sending him pictures is a nice gesture, don’t ever neglect conversation. Texting may not be ideal means of communication, but it’s still what he wants. He wants to think. He wants to discuss. And he wants to speak his mind freely, based on your excellent questions and conversation starters.
Men will reply to texts – and miss you texting them if you stop – the more they get emotionally involved. If you sense that he’s just reply Yes or No, then he’s obviously resisting. He’s trying to stop being emotional and stop thinking. It’s time to send him a brain teaser if you want him to reply. Send him something that evokes his feelings. Always remembers, you leave first. And you leave him wanting more.
Besides, once he learns to trust you and associates you with Great Conversation, he will want to talk more often—not just on text, but on the phone and even in person. That’s the goal, isn’t it?
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