No one likes being ignored, whether it’s by a work colleague, friend, or family member. But it can be even more lonely and upsetting when the person ignoring you is your once loving and attentive boyfriend.
Loud screaming matches are often a warning sign of a relationship under strain, but a boyfriend who is distant and refuses to speak to you can signal a serious problem that needs addressing.
Everyone needs a peaceful moment by themselves from time to time, so a one-off incident may be nothing to worry about. But if you have noticed a consistent pattern of being ignored and neglected by your boyfriend, it’s definitely time to open up communication and work on your relationship.
If this situation sounds familiar, here is some helpful advice to get your partner to notice you again.
If your partner has suddenly changed, they may be going through something difficult. There are all kinds of reasons why a person might withdraw into themselves and avoid communication with a loved one. Perhaps your boyfriend is going through some mental health issues that they don’t know how to process or articulate. Or maybe they are experiencing a family tragedy or a problem at work that is bothering them.
Although being ignored is impacting your relationship, the underlying issue may have nothing to do with you. It may just be that they don’t know how to talk to you about it. Screaming and getting frustrated at them will not help, and may push them even further away from you. Make an effort to be considerate and remember that your boyfriend could be fighting an invisible battle you can’t see.
Open up communication
A couple who can’t talk to each other is doomed from the start. Try to open up a channel of communication so you can get to the root of the issue. If he is annoyed or upset with you, he may not want to be the one to make the first move. Let him know you are ready to listen and give him the chance to communicate his feelings.
If and when he starts to share his feelings, let him talk. You may disagree with what he is saying, but if you start arguing or shouting over him you’ll end right back where you started. Let him speak, and this will open things up to a civil two-way conversation.
Share your feelings
Being ignored is hurtful, and it can make you feel lonely and worried for the future of your relationship. It takes two people to make a couple, and your feelings are just as valid as his. Let him know how his actions make you feel. When he realizes the impact of his behavior, he may accept that he is being childish and that this is not the best way to deal with complicated feelings. When you both know how the other person is feeling, you can start making a plan to patch things up.
If this goes on for a long time, you’ll inevitably end up feeling stressed, frustrated, and even angry. But it’s important not to let your emotions get the better of you. Shouting and screaming will only make things worse and push him further away. Do your best to keep calm when trying to communicate with your boyfriend, and if you feel yourself getting too emotional, just take a breath and walk away for a minute.
Analyze the situation
If you can’t get through to your boyfriend, you might have to figure out what is going on for yourself. Assess the situation and try to work out what might have transpired to cause the love of your life to ignore you. Is this recurring behavior or is it something new? If the latter, then it may be something you unwittingly did or said that has upset him. For example, a passing comment or joke that struck a nerve.
Go back through your recent conversations and interactions to try and pinpoint the moment when things changed. If you can narrow down the reasons for your boyfriend’s decision to ignore you, you can get a grip on the situation and start working towards a resolution.
Keep yourself occupied
While all this relationship drama is happening, it’s important to gain some perspective. You are your own unique, individual person, with thoughts, feelings, hobbies, and other people who love you. Don’t spend all your time fixating on your boyfriend and racking your brain to try and fix things. Make some time for yourself and take care of your physical and mental health.
Spend some time with friends and family, go for a walk, or do something you love all by yourself. This will give you some much needed time to reflect and center yourself. By the time you come back home to your partner, you will be rested and better equipped to sort things out. And it may be that your boyfriend is trying to get your attention by ignoring you. By showing him that you are able to carry on with your life, he may realize it’s not working and give it up.
Relight the spark
When you first start a relationship, it is often an incredibly intense passionate affair. But after several months or years, the initial spark fizzles out and you can fall into a comfortable rhythm. Maybe this lack of passion is the reason things aren’t going so well. Your monotonous routine might lead your boyfriend to desire something a little more exciting. Try to look for ways to relight the spark, whether it is a date night, a romantic getaway, or just wearing something seductive to draw his attention. Sometimes all it takes is a trip to the bedroom to fix any relationship troubles.
Hopefully these tips will help you to get to the root of the issue and open up a line of communication to stop your boyfriend from ignoring you. Remember to stay calm and be honest with each other about how you are feeling. A relationship cannot heal when you are closed off from your partner.