Why is He Ignoring Me?

Has this happened to you before?

Things are going great! Your guy-crush is charming, eloquent, completely into you…he seems to just love making you smile.

And then all of a sudden, everything goes dark. He becomes distant. Moody. Weird. Maybe it’s the tone of his voice, his solemn facial expressions, or the fact that his once deep and witty conversation has become very shallow.

Maybe he even says something extra cold like, “Oh…HI.” Or maybe he avoids looking you in the eye and instead pays more attention to every other person in the room.

What happened? Why do guys go from 60 MPH to 0 with little to no warning? Talk about slamming the brakes on…

Believe it or not, it’s not your imagination. There IS a reason why your guy-crush is ignoring you, or at least, is only giving you 25% interest when he was all over you at 110% last week. But sometimes the reason why he’s ignoring you is a little more complicated than just “guys are weird sometimes!” (Yes they are weird, but there’s always a reason)

In fact, his distant behavior could be for a number of different reasons. Let’s discuss five of the most common scenarios.

1. He’s playing you.

If you’re flirting heavily and he SUDDENLY loses interest for no apparent reason, it’s possible he’s just trying to make you jealous and get a dramatic reaction out of you. Pay close attention to his eyes…do they seem to shift and follow you around, even when he’s talking to someone else? Does he always seem to start new conversations even after he blows you off for a better deal somewhere else? Transparent behavior!

Sometimes a guy may even ignore you BECAUSE he is jealous of you spending time with other girlfriends or other guys. He thinks if he reacts negatively to you, you will figure out what not to do. This is a different form of “playing” behavior, but just as juvenile. If you sense he’s being passive-aggressive in this way, avoid falling into this trap. Just back away and give him room to deal with his anger.

2. He feels smothered.

While most men will not completely ignore you if they feel smothered by too much attention, it’s quite common for a man to back off and spend some quality time alone. If you both seem to be talking nonstop lately, on the phone or via text, then he may just need a few days away from you.

Maybe he feels smothered or too tightly controlled and living according to your schedule. Or maybe he even feels too afraid of how intense and committed your relationship is becoming. In other words, he may just need some time to himself and there is nothing wrong with this. Men need alone time process their thoughts and figure out how they feel about things. Encourage him to be independent! Encourage him to get in touch with his feelings…and don’t insist on being there, telling him what to do. Honor him with the gift of freedom. The gift of alone time.

3. He’s angry and doesn’t want to talk about it.

He may be upset over an unresolved argument the two of you had, or he may be upset about something else. It could be family problems, work, school or even the deep philosophies of life that no one knows the answers to. But the point is, he’s angry but he’s not ready to talk about it yet. He may be dying to talk about it, but he’s still too emotional to tell you what’s really bothering him.

The best thing to do in this case is to allow him his independence, but do let him know you can tell he’s upset and wants to talk. Let him know that if he wants to confide in you, you’ll always be ready to listen. Now leave him alone until he takes the first step. Sometimes men do need to vent their feelings but creating a comfortable and non-confrontational environment is the first step.

4. He’s reacting to the negative energy of others.

Men are very sensitive when it comes to the feelings of friends, family members and business acquaintances—even when it comes to matters of the heart. If he really likes you but is getting serious resistance from VIPs that think he’s making a mistake, this can shake his confidence. He may need to be reminded of why he likes you…and in that case, back away and give him the gift of missing you. Let him figure out if he really wants you and if he’s man enough to make his own decisions.

Remember that he may also be reacting to you if he feels you’ve been ignoring him lately. Sometimes men pick up on very subtle changes in the behaviors of women. If you’ve been preoccupied, or short-tempered, or even distracted by other matters in life, he may be misinterpreting that as a rejection of him. He’s now ignoring you because he thinks they’re ignoring him. In this case, take the initiative and reach out to him, letting him know there is no coldness from your end. This may help lighten things up.

5. He may be thinking of calling it quits.

Finally, it’s possible he’s reached a crossroad of the relationship. While this is the worst case scenario, it is quite common for a man to withdraw slowly—emotionally, physically and intellectually—as he comes to terms with his true feelings. Namely, “I’m not in love with her.”

He may be avoiding you because he’s not sure how to say it, or it may be because he’s hoping you will get bored of him and pass him on by. He may be commitment phobic or he may simply have become bored of you, and all the more so if you slept with him too soon.

Just remember, even in the worst case scenario, you must remain strong and stay confident. Do not give him the satisfaction of hurting you or begging for his favor. He will never respect you if do.

Whether or not you get back together someday, you must go out on top right now. You must leave him wanting more. You must not be afraid to let him go. Move on from him and reinvent yourself, letting him know it’s all his loss. After all, men chase you. And you let them. This is your motivation. THIS is the strong feminine confidence that men find irresistible!

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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