6 Signs He Wants to Kiss You But is Scared (And What to Do About It)

In another article we discussed a few signs that confident men give when they want a woman to take the initiative and kiss them first. There are, however, other types of guys you meet in dating who aren’t testing you, but rather just nervous and maybe even a bit scared to kiss you.

First of all, why would a guy be afraid? It could be fear of rejection, or maybe even fear of coming on too strong and “forcing you” to kiss them. A lot of guys are cautious about the way they try to kiss a woman. They want to be romantic and yet still polite and a gentleman.

The problem is your crush may be waiting for you to send them a signal, saying “Yes, I want you to kiss me.”

Maybe you’re telling them with your eyes, or hinting around at it. Maybe you’re even touching him and giving him compliments. But he isn’t taking the hint! Is it okay to make the first move and kiss him?

Usually it’s not because most men want to make the first move, including a dramatic kiss. But if you think he wants to kiss you and is feeling self-conscious, or confused about signals, or is just too scared to actually take a chance…

Then yes, you can kiss him first. Or an even better option would be to start to kiss him first but then let him take over. You could look him in the eye, tilt your head, and slowly close your eyes until he follows you and reaches your face first.

Mission accomplished! You gave him a clear signals and he followed through. He kissed you first, so he still got to play the role of dashing romantic hero.

There’s just one problem. A woman shouldn’t start to kiss a guy, or even imply she wants to kiss him, UNLESS the man clearly wants it. How in the world do you read a man’s signals? Does he really make a face or perform a certain gesture?

Surprisingly, yes. There are a few signs to look for when your man is thinking about kissing you. Some are subtle but some are a little more obvious. Just to make sure you don’t misread the situation and have an embarrassing “pull back” let’s list the most common body language for a man with kissing on his mind.

1. He lingers…making conversation and trying to keep your attention.

A man who isn’t interested will not stay around awkward tension. But a man who is fighting his fears, and suffering those “awkward moments” is trying to work up the nerve to make a move. You might notice he’s getting closer to you, looking into your eyes more and “lingering around” as if there’s one more thing he wants to say. He may never have the courage to say it but maybe with a little encouragement, you can help him get over that first hurdle.

2. He’s staring at your lips.

A good indicator of where he wants to be! He’s either staring at your lips, or perhaps in a triangle pattern along with your eyes. He’s not just scanning your face and reading your lips. He’s actually staring at your lips, trying to talk himself into moving in closer and kissing you.

3. He’s licking his own lips.

A man interested in kissing you will prepare himself for the experience, even if he hasn’t decided to do it yet. He wants to have smooth lips and so may lick his lips or move his mouth in another unusual way. What makes this fairly obvious is that he’s not talking, even though his mouth is moving. He may even be calming himself with this gesture as he waits for the “perfect moment”. It might not come, so try to meet him halfway with a little flirting behavior of your own.

4. He compliments you.

Men who are scared of sexual tension will still nonetheless try something. Your date might not be able to think of anything funny or teasing to say but he might come up with a compliment. If a man says something about your face, figure, or even your charming personality, it’s a pretty good sign that he’s trying to create a romantic mood. Whereas most women at this point would say thank you and move on…he may be waiting for you to reciprocate a little more—perhaps even asking a bold question like, “What are we doing ____(Name) ?” or a more forward statement like, “I’m so attracted to you right now.”

5. He seems nervous and fidgety.

Men who are afraid are obviously not at ease with sexual tension. They haven’t mastered the art of playing it cool. But the fact that he does seem unusually nervous may be a sign that he really likes you…and is wrestling with his urge to reach over and kiss you. Make it easier for him by touching him and looking him in the eye, letting him know that it’s okay—you feel the connection too!

6. He “mirrors” your own body language and gestures.

It’s not just a matter of mimicking your body movements—such as crossing his legs after you, or touching you in the same way you just touched him. What a man actually does is mirror your own energy, posture and disposition. You may notice that he changes his energy and flow of conversation to match yours. He may talk excitedly, right after you do, or may calm down and relax once he sees you doing that same thing. As an experiment, try to deliberately change your tone of voice. Try to speak softer and slower (which is considered the sexy, throaty voice) and see if he mirrors your change in tone. If he does, it’s obvious he’s dying to kiss you!

Remember, the more shy the guy, the more likely he will NOT give you more common signals that guys usually do—like intense eye contact, a bedroom smile, or making you laugh. He will need a little gentle prodding so don’t be afraid to call him out on this obvious sexual tension he’s created by acting a little “weird”.

Believe it or not, a lot of shy guys will be honest and admit their attraction if you confront them. From there, (once you get him to admit it!) he may actually make the first move, especially if you start the “head tilt”, signaling that it’s okay for him to come closer.

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Talk soon,

Matthew Coast

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Matthew Coast

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