While it might not be a universal fact, by in large, it’s safe to say most players are insecure at heart. If a man is unable to commit or can’t handle love in the real world, he struggles with deep-rooted doubts about himself. He would rather play games, play the field (possibly well into senior age), and stay a bachelor rather than learn to trust someone implicitly.
These guys are so insecure, they would rather leave early before they seriously invest their emotions in a relationship they know from the outset is doomed. Doomed, because that’s the way they want it.
But that’s not all…
Insecure men who are also narcissistic (a major personality disorder resulting from a neglected childhood) are even more difficult to deal with.
While not all players are narcissistic, the ones that are can be very destructive in normal relationships. There are no warning labels for a narcissist. In fact, they initially come across as likable, funny, successful, romantic, heroic, and everything you associate with the perfect man.
Over time, you start to see a pattern. He is so insecure that he is self-absorbed, to the point of neglecting you, manipulating you to do his bidding, and then eventually becoming vindictive towards you when fail to worship him properly.
If only there were a database of narcissists so you could avoid all of them!
Well there’s no such thing. However, there are definite signs of insecurity to look for in players and narcissists and other types of emotionally manipulative guys that are going to disappoint you. By staying cool and cautious, and NOT falling in love too soon, you will have time to see these dangerous signs and second guess a serious relationship.
Let’s discuss a few…
- They blame you for everything and refuse to take responsibility for themselves.
Insecure men don’t have the guts to “be a man” and apologize for making an honest mistake. They do the exact opposite. They blame everyone else except themselves. Because you’re his girlfriend, you’re a convenient defense. He blames you for everything. He won’t listen to reason. He always thinks he’s right. The only people you CAN talk to are your friends or family. Talking to him is a waste of time.
Unfortunately, the worst guys are very gifted at guilting their partners. After a while, you’ll begin to think it’s all your fault and you’re just constantly disappointing him. But that’s not any kind of healthy relationship.
- He uses dark humor – but you’re always the butt of the joke.
He doesn’t just laugh at dark things, he always makes sure you’re the one being humiliated. He shames you, laughs at you, and gets others to laugh at you. The old cliché is true…people who must laugh at others are usually miserable on their own. He gets joy out of shaming you and will even pick on your weaknesses.
- He will intentionally disappoint you.
Not only does this include “ghosting” you on dates and appointments, but he will always forget to do you a favor, fail to accomplish one simple task you asked, and disappoint you morally – whether it’s engaging in addictive, promiscuous or criminal behavior. A real man will keep his promises and never promise what he cannot do. A highly insecure man will promise everything and fail to live up to a single one of them.
- He will constantly criticize you.
One early warning sign is that he will be more interested in your potential and less interested in the person you truly are now, your true heart and mind. He will claim to criticize you out of love, but his words will always hurt – never truly giving insight into how you can improve.
You will never ask for criticism, he will just constantly put you down. He will find fault with everything you do. His motivation is in wearing down your self-confidence so that he can dominate the relationship. He might even project his own flaws onto you, creating a nasty, co-dependent relationship.
- He will gaslight you, rather than admit he’s wrong.
Gaslighting is a very subtle form of abuse where he manipulates you by distorting reality and convincing you that you’re insane, or constantly wrong, or stupid, or some other horrible personality flaw. Your instinct is obviously not to constantly verify facts. You believe what you see. Knowing this, a very insecure man would rather alter your entire perception of true events, rather than admit he is wrong.
- He will keep you on a constant cycle of high romance and extreme stress.
This is sort of like a push-pull effect (fairly normal in dating) but amplified to the point of being a roller coaster ride. Fights will be extreme, physical or verbally abusive. These episodes will seem to come out of nowhere or rise from an entirely normal conversation. Afterward, he might occasionally seem apologetic, (though he will rarely if ever apologize) and will show his sweet side again. You’ll have great makeup sex and romance…only to relive the same cycle over and over again.
This is a dysfunctional relationship and things will never feel safe or normal.
In conclusion, it doesn’t matter whether you’re dealing with a full blown narcissist, or player, or just a normal guy who’s very insecure. The games are always the same. He’s going to keep testing you indefinitely. There is no way to earn his trust or pass his test. He will keep wanting more love, attention and acceptance and yet will give you little to nothing in return.
The best thing to do is to avoid men who have major insecurity issues. Now that doesn’t mean that your average Mr. Right doesn’t occasionally feel self-conscious or afraid of failure. We all feel that occasionally. That’s not the issue.
A man who is extremely insecure, to the point that it shapes his entire personality and his dealings with other people, is bad news. He will make the relationship miserable. Get out now and start looking for a man who will spend more time loving you, rather than playing games.
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5 word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…
Click this link to watch my video right now <<
