The feeling of being loved “less” or that you love him much more than he loves you can be devastating. You try so hard to please him. You give of yourself and you reach out to touch his heart, so earnest, so trusting…
Only to find out that love isn’t enough. Or maybe that he does “love you”…but his enthusiasm, his passion, always seems strained.
You might wonder if you did something wrong. Is there something you could do, to show him, to remind him that your love for him is so intense?
Before we jump to that conclusion, let’s first back up a step and consider the difference between a man who “loves less” than you, versus a man that’s simply shy, or reserved, or uncomfortable with romance.
Remember that some men speak a different love language than the women they love, or even marry. You might be outgoing, talkative and expressive – but he might be quiet, calm, and maybe a little distant.
That itself doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s not in love with you, or that you love him more than he loves you. That simply shows that he’s not very expressive.
But yes, once you can tell that you love someone more than he loves you, it must be an entirely different strategy. It’s not enough to make excuses for him and convince yourself that he’s shy or emotionally stunted.
If he doesn’t love you as much as you love him, then you must approach the issue logically and realistically.
First, let’s look for the signs that show a man is communicating negativity or hostility – namely in the way he treats you.
1. He doesn’t seem to care about your time, effort, or attention.
Time is precious and effort is valuable. So when a guy intentionally or negligently no-shows on you, it shows a lack of respect. A lack of love. Obviously, it shows a lack of interest compared to what you’ve shown him. It means quite literally that he has better things to do than give his full effort.
Why is he interested in you at all if he can’t even commit 100 percent to the simple task of giving you full attention?
2. He is emotionally and or physically absent when you need him.
Love is all about being there for each other, in good times and bad, when one of you is weak, and when all else fails! If he has a consistent pattern of never being available when you need him, then something is dreadfully wrong.
Could this be a problem in communication styles or love languages?
Most likely not. Yes, I understand the autism spectrum and Asperger’s, I do. I get that not everyone is expressive or good in dealing with people or emotion. Some people do communicate differently or have difficulty bonding in the traditional way.
From what I’ve observed, from friends of mine who are “aspies”, is that they can show respect, love, affection, and caring. Especially when you communicate one on one and learn to compromise, learn to please each other and have that open dialog. That’s what brings agreement and negotiation. That’s what makes a marriage work.
But this is not the case when someone is emotionally unavailable on purpose and who makes no effort to compromise or make time for you.
At some point, you have to realize that he’s never been there for you, not like you were there for him. And that’s when you truly realize this is a one-sided relationship.
3. He never accepts blame or responsibility.
I’ve read a lot of articles that hyperfocus on forgetting birthdays and anniversaries and how unforgivable that is.
Truth is, as we get older we do sometimes experience memory problems. And sometimes it might happen. We make a mistake. Or an insensitive remark. Or just a bad day where everyone’s in a bad mood and squabbling.
But here’s something that doesn’t change. A man’s ability to accept responsibility for a mistake and apologize. To own up to his mistake, or simply to apologize for the HURT and the grief – regardless of whose fault it is.
That level of maturity shows a love that’s mutual. Even. Balanced.
On the other hand, a man who can never admit his own wrongdoing, or who never compromises, or never accepts any responsibility for the relationship – that man is simply unwilling to lift a finger. He won’t fight to save the relationship. He has no fear of losing you. He clearly doesn’t love you as much as you love him.
4. You always have to initiate and extend the conversation.
He rarely reaches out to talk to you, which is a red flag. If he’s not chasing you, at least a little, then his heart is not in it. He’s not invested in you, he’s not trying to become part of your “world”. He isn’t willing to end the relationship (perhaps he fears being alone) but he does everything half-heartedly, figuring he’s doing you the biggest favor by staying interested in you. Sadly, it’s the kind of thing you sense just from his tired eyes and fake smile.
5. He doesn’t share or discuss anything about life!
The best way to gauge a man’s love is to see how often he tries to bond with you. When he shares things about himself, his memories, his opinions, and dreams, that’s a sign of trust.
If he never shares anything of value, there’s no real trust. He doesn’t feel safe with you. He doesn’t have an interest in you. He also seems to be absent in conversations where you’re discussing something of importance to you. Contrast his enthusiasm and level of concentration with that of his friends, or family members, or other women. Is there a lack of sincerity when he interacts with you?
In closing, it’s not up to me to tell you what you should do. A lot of experts online, they’re too quick to tell you “Leave him!” because they’re focused on an idea – not on the person, not on your happiness as an individual. Only you can decide if it’s time to leave – or if you can save the relationship, and indeed, whether it’s worth saving.
One thing is for sure. The dynamic cannot continue like this, since it makes you so unhappy to be “loved less” and since, presumably, he might not be so happy either.
Can you talk things over honestly and from the heart? Is there some compromise you can both reach to increase the level of respect and trust that you first had with each other?
Might his problem simply be that he speaks a different love language than you? Could you help him to be more expressive if he seems shy or distant? Is there something you do that irritates him? Could you talk it over and find a solution?
If not, if the two of you are truly miserable and incompatible, then it’s time to be realistic about the situation. The whole reason for starting a relationship is to love each other, care for each other, and demonstrate mutual love with affection. If he doesn’t have that love or natural attraction, then it hurts both of you to keep pretending. Talk to him from the heart and find out what he really wants from you and from life.
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5 word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…
