The idea might seem strange to you – that a man could destroy a relationship with just one sentence. You might think “Shouldn’t I be bigger than that?” After all, you want to encourage a man to share his honest thoughts and feelings, right?
So what if he expresses a viewpoint that’s challenging or different from what you believe? Isn’t that part of regular conversation and learning to communicate with other people?
True, debate and discussion should be encouraged. But when we say things like “10 dealbreakers” or ten forbidden statements, we’re not actually talking about intellectual disagreement. We’re discussing intentional behaviors and attitudes that he holds, that indicate there is going to be a great conflict.
So we’re not saying that you should shun a man forever just because he said something politically incorrect. The point is, sure, you could try to make the relationship work. But…the fact that he’s already shown his attitude and engaged in questionable behavior suggests it’s highly unlikely you’re ever going to be happy in this relationship.
Curious as to what these dealbreaker sentences might be? Let’s consider them one at a time.
- “I don’t want you talking to them anymore.”
Whether he’s banning you from talking to your friends, family members, or even random people he doesn’t like, the forced “shun” is a pretty ridiculous demand to make. You are not his child. There is no reason for him to bark orders at you or to limit your right to speak to whomever you want.
While there are some rare instances in which this demand might be justified (i.e. if you’ve been abused by an ex and you can’t stop talking to him or something like that) usually the reason is far less complicated. He doesn’t like your friends and family and wants you to change who you are. That’s unreasonable.
- “You are going to do this. And if you don’t, we can’t be together.”
Another ridiculous demand is when the guy demands you change your personality or your lifestyle to suit him. Why even get together in the first place if you’re so opposite of each other? This is a power play that makes no sense in the real world. Relationships happen because two people are compatible and have similar values and lifestyles. The demand for someone to change simply means this is not a real match.
- “This is your fault.”
Any kind of abuse, whether it’s physical or cheating, or even just emotional abuse, is intolerable. So just imagine how absurd it is if your partner claims that your actions justify his abuse. That’s not a normal thing to say. Frankly, you’d have to question that kind of person’s sanity.
- “Give up your job. You’re going nowhere.”
This is such an insensitive thing for a person to say, I’d have to think the relationship is doomed. Even if someone works an “ordinary” job, that person no doubts takes pride in their job. It supports them, gives them independence, and is a source of comfort, regardless of much money they make. A man to belittling a woman’s job, or insisting that she should just live as his housewife, is crude. It may also be a red flag as to his domineering personality.
- “Why won’t you do this for me? If you love me, you’ll do it.”
There should never be any reason to badger or bully someone into doing something they don’t want to do. Bullying is cruel. And yes, convincing or persuading or “kindly” pressuring a partner to do something that goes against their principles is a form of bullying just the same. If he ever demands you do something sexually or morally repugnant to you, then don’t do it – and be wary about his motives.
- “You have the potential to be great.”
This seems like a nice statement at first, but it could be a hint of major disagreements to come. If a man loves you for your potential, rather than the person you are, it indicates he’s in love with an idea or an image of who he thinks you should be. Sometimes what he perceives as your “potential” and the person you are going to be someday are completely opposite. He might not understand you at all, if his love depends on growing into his perfect trophy wife.
- “If you ever do this again, you’ll be sorry.”
Even if he doesn’t abuse you physically or verbally, be very cautious about a man who makes threats like this. Maybe he’ll never follow through on them and that’s good. But why make them in the first place? Either he believes in “punishing you” or he just likes to make idle threats. Either way, that seems like a lot of drama coming your way.
- “I’m never going to change. Sorry.”
You should never expect a man to change. And as we discussed previously, demanding a partner change or reach their “full potential” is just a dumb thing to want. You either love the person for who they are, or you don’t. In this case, if a man says “I’m never going to change…” and you want him to get rid of a nagging habit or major character flaw, then something’s got to give. More than likely he won’t change and you’re going to end the relationship with resentment. People only change if they want to, not because a partner demands it.
- “I’m not ready for anything serious.”
If you’re looking for something serious and he just told you he isn’t, then the entire relationship is mistimed and a mistake. Don’t think you can change him and get him to commit to you when he just told you, his heart is deadset against commitment. He has to want a real relationship first, before his heart opens and is ready for business.
- “You have some things to work on, don’t you?”
I can’t imagine anyone saying something like this, outside of a kink roleplaying scenario, or perhaps dating an egomaniac who thinks you’re his student. Serious relationships are based on equal partnership and self-sacrifice. The idea that you’re always trying to improve yourself for him, rather than for yourself, is an exercise in futility. He shouldn’t love a work in progress. He should love you, end of story.
It’s not always easy to end a relationship that once had promise. But after seeing firsthand how badly matched you are, as indicated by these statements, it’s probably for the best. You want a relationship based on mutual love and respect – that’s the only kind of love that lasts forever.
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5 word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…
I don’t know what to do at all. My man wants me to quit talking to my guy friends but I don’t want to because they calm me down. I have a lot of issues and he doesn’t get that. He won’t even listen to me or anything about how I feel. Like he ignores me and then when I try to say anything to him he tells me to shut up and downgrades me like I am nothing and that I am beneath him.