Have you ever wondered why some couples instantly seem to get together, fall in love, get married, and live happily…

While other couples crash and burn? Maybe you’ve been in a few dysfunctional relationships yourself. You know now what went wrong because hindsight is 20/20, right?

But when you begin the relationship it really feels like love. It feels natural, like you’re finally taking a step in the right direction.

And then bam! The same horror story happens again. Communication breaks down. You both start fighting viciously. Grief, trauma, and regret. A nasty break up, maybe even a couple of failed marriages. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Of course, by now you sense there are recurring patterns in your life and they seem to make you miserable. What you cannot figure out is why. Specifically, when? When does the faulty and vicious cycle start and why can’t you identify it in the beginning?

Misconceptions About Dysfunction

Of course one of the most common “memes” out there suggests that you’re attracted to bad boys and just don’t want to date a “good man.” He fails to excite you and so you pay the price when you’re attracted to the wrong guy and pursue a doomed romance, rather than settling for the nice guy.

This is not an accurate depiction of real life, however.

First of all, no one should ever “settle.” If you don’t feel attraction to a man, there’s a good reason. And make no mistake about it, being linked with a nice guy that bores you can be just as miserable as being with an abusive man who turns you on.

There is another issue here that’s being ignored. That’s what we need to focus on.

Childhood Influences on Romance

People oftentimes assume that their views on romance are based on feelings, on a special “it factor”, or perhaps some peripheral quality (like good looks, money, confidence, etc.)

But the science of it suggests that the attitudes we learn in childhood from parental figures are what influence our views on love, romance, and sex.

What you learn as you grow up as an impressionable child, almost always determines your future relationships. You see your parental figures as role models and their behavior, as well as your reaction to their behavior, helps you to form a composite personality, as well as your own way of coping with feelings.

Therefore, if you observe dysfunction in your mother or father’s dealings with other people, you might pick up some of the same negativity and bring that baggage into your relationships – usually always without realizing it.

It’s almost like you’re receiving a “script” of how to behave in relationships and you revert back to following that script unconsciously. You also have an idealized picture of who your “perfect partner” is, one that might be completely wrong for you.

Most people are not self-aware about how relationships start until they actually learn about the basics of human psychology. Without that head knowledge, it’s all feelings, right?

But feelings are unpredictable and can lead us into a roller coaster of a life if we’re not careful.

Types of Dysfunctional Roles

For example, consider a few dysfunctional roles that children learn from their parents and bring to their adult relationships.

1. The Pleaser (You must please your partner, even at the expense of your own feelings)
2. The Victim (Anxious, always seems to be the victim in an abusive relationship)
3. The Controller (Controlling, bad temper and needs a fixed routine)
4. The Vascillator (Unpredictable, deals with stress, unrealistic expectations)
5. The Avoider (Independent, self-reliant and avoids intimacy with others)

How to Change Your Destiny

You might say that if one continues to fall into dysfunctional patterns without realizing it, that woman is destined to be unhappy, or at least as unhappy or as happy as her parents were. Once you become aware of these patterns (the role you unconsciously play and the type of partner you are attracted to that fulfills a particular role) you have the ability to change the course of your life.

Learning your “love style” and your approach to dating (as well as how it evolves into a relationship) is the first step to redirecting your love life to a better place.

Taking Action to Change Your Destiny

Of course, recognizing the pattern is not the only step you have to take. Once you recognize the dysfunctional pattern, it’s up to you to learn more about your needs, your automatic “reactions”, and what makes you feel safe in a relationship.

You could say that learning to accept and love yourself precedes the step to “find a better man”. YOu must first learn what makes you happy and what you can give to someone else to make them happy.

Sometimes confronting the “illusions” we hold about ourselves, or perhaps the unrealistic expectations of what we want from a partner, is a very challenging process. You must un-learn the damaging attitudes that have kept you in a cycle of misery.

It is only at this point, at the stage of healing, that you can properly identify the RIGHT partner that you can love and the WRONG partner that you unconsciously attract. Now that you have done the work, and learned to accept and love yourself, you are in a better position to guide your own love life – not to be swept away by a toxic romance.

So as you can see, it’s NOT about settling for a nice guy over a bad boy. The real issue is confronting your own issues and learning to take back the “wheel” of your own love life, which very often goes on auto-pilot. You decide who to love, when to love, and how you want to be loved. That is what determines your “true love” story.

Remember this as you begin the new year and let’s take a fresh new start to finding romance on your own terms. As you continue reading this blog, we’re going to delve deeper into what it means to be happy and to become the more confident and successful woman you truly want to be.

The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life

There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…

It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…

But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…

It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…

And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…

Have you figured out what it is yet?

Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…

And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…

Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…

Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…

A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…

And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…

Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…

If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…

I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…

Click here to watch the video now <<

My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…

I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…

Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…

When you click the link this link right here <<

I show you what this 5 word phrase is…

I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…

And how to attract the man you want…

Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…

No matter how painful things have been in your past…

You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…

Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…

If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…

If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…

And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…

Click this link to watch my video right now <<

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