How to Write a Love Letter That Will Make Him Cry

A while back someone asked me, “Is it acceptable for a woman to cry just to get a man to love her back?”

Well of course, a person’s first reaction might be, “Of course not. It’s a manipulative tactic and not very honorable.”

But I take more of a scientist’s approach in this case and would answer the question by asking, “Would it work?”

I mean, that’s what everyone really wants to know! You know how the expression goes, “all is fair in love and war?” So I’d venture to say some women might sacrifice honor or self-respect just to get a man to stay. Or get an ex to come back to her. Or to get him to apologize or even propose.

But would it work? That’s the tricky question. Because in most cases, crying will not work. He will learn to associate negative, guilty feelings with your love. That’s not a positive association and it will only cause him stress in the long run. So it might work once or twice, but that’s not a tactic that’s going to save an entire relationship. Eventually, he’ll see what you’re doing and will turn against you.

But I have a better follow up. Instead of focusing on crying your way into his heart, let’s reverse the process. Find a way to make him cry – that is, get him to feel something strong, something emotionally intense, and a feeling so true that it breaks him out of that cold facade and forces him to be honest.

Understand what you’re actually after is not just the display of an emotion – rather, it’s him experiencing vulnerability. He might feel like crying when he’s vulnerable, but the point is, he feels close to you. He trusts you. You might even say, for that moment, he needs you to be there for him. That’s exactly what you want because when a man is vulnerable, he bonds with you on a deeper level. He expresses his innermost thoughts, and usually, he falls in love.

So don’t waste your time crying to manipulate him with tears. Instead, focus on making him cry – that is, give him the gift of an emotional experience, so that he FEELS the love and the attachment to you he has, in his heart.

Here are a few ideas on how to write a love letter that will make him cry and will make him want you with all his heart.

1. Let him know that you DO remember.

If you’re distancing yourself from your ex or have been playing it cool for a while now, then there’s a good chance he’s wondering if you still care for him at all or if you’ve moved on for good. The emotional “crux” of a love letter is giving him what he wants – letting him know that you DO love him and you do feel something strong, amazing and beautiful for him. But that it’s just hard to express what you feel. Your attempt to describe to him the great love you feel (after playing cold for so long) is the entire pretense of the letter. And that’s what will break his heart in a wonderful way.

2. Make it extremely personal…but remember to be strong, not weak.

First of all, don’t “fake” anything. Don’t steal any quotes from The Notebook, Jerry Maguire, or Rick & Morty. (I dunno…whatever popular shows that people cry at!) It has to be NATURAL, it has to be sincere. Crying and sharing feelings is about bonding together as two unique individuals in love. It’s about using your own words, deeply personal statements about why he makes you smile, why he’s the love of your life.

At the same time, be strong and continue to be confident. Don’t “break” or appear weak just to get him to love you. Don’t beg him for love and don’t plead with him to feel something. Simply talk about your emotions and how you feel about him. The love you have for him, as a strong and independent woman, will be enough to make his eyes water.

3. Remember this is about HIM. About how he wants to see himself.

If you really want to give him an emotional experience, make the love letter about him. First explain why you’re writing the letter and then focus on him – why you love him because of his admirable qualities. Think about the kind of man he is, what good qualities he has that help others. What makes him unique? What makes other people emotionally respond to him? What compliment does he never hear enough? Be honest about what you love about him and why it affects you emotionally. Don’t be vague. Go into detail about why you love him and why he is so easy to love. Chances are, no one (besides mom) has ever really told him this. Admiration for a job well done and a life well lived – that’s what touches a man’s heart.

4. Make him relive excellent memories by sharing the heartfelt moments you still remember.

Lastly, don’t underestimate the emotional power of a trip down memory lane! Mentioning old memories (perhaps when you were once a couple or when you first met) will make him relive those moments – almost as if he’s watching his life flash before his eyes. Focus not only on the memory itself, but also on why you remember it – how that perfect moment embodied everything you loved about him.

It’s not enough that you remember it…but that you had a profound, emotional experience in that moment, but you hid it from him. Now is the time to confess how you really felt and how you fell in love with him once upon a time.

Either describe that memory to him in great descriptive detail, or use a few short sentences and a heartfelt voice to describe what you felt inside.

He will love it! Every man wants to get a love letter like this. Write this one with soul and he will remember it for the rest of his life…and yours too!

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Talk soon,

Matthew Coast

P.S. If you’ve been banging your head against the wall because you’ve fallen for a man who’s frustratingly unavailable…

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About The Author

Matthew Coast

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