How to Tell If Your Boyfriend Is Cheating on You

It’s probably a thought in every woman’s mind. “Where is he right now?” Or even, “What is he really thinking? Is he thinking about other women?”

You may even obsess over his faithfulness, wondering what you can do to stop him from cheating and from looking at other women. If he’s cheated before, you may even feel doubly paranoid – and rightly so – that he’s keeping secrets. Either he’s going to cheat or he’s already in the process of starting an affair, right?

Let’s just say your instincts could be right or they could be wrong. What matters is not the emotion of the situation. (Because our worst fears usually make us overly emotional and not rational about the situation) What matters is the EVIDENCE.

Simply put, you cannot accuse him of cheating if you don’t have evidence. Even if you try to go on instinct, he will argue his innocent and try to make you feel crazy. (Especially if he’s really cheating!)

Instead, follow the trail of evidence. Here are eight ways you WILL know if he’s keeping secrets and planning to cheat.

1. He makes it difficult or impossible for you to see his phone/tablet.

Most faithful guys don’t care if you run across their web browser page with a scantily clad Maxim girl on the front. But if they have codes upon codes, if they hide their phones, if they have multiple phones (and phones you’ve never seen), and if they delete old private messages on social media, there is definitely some evidence they don’t want you to see – either confirmation of adultery or heavy flirting and suggestion.

2. He has more girlfriends than he has guy friends.

I know this might be a controversial listing, because why shouldn’t guys be friends with women? Isn’t there such a thing as a platonic friendship?

Yeah there is…but come on. If the guy just doesn’t interact with any bros (or maybe has just one) but is constantly befriending strange women, listening to their problems, “innocently” flirting with them, and just being all Charlie Sheen big brother all of a sudden, it’s a problem.

He desires a harem of females to be happy. Maybe he’s not cheating yet, but he’s thinking about it and probably cheating “in mind and heart.”

3. He generates more excuses than a freakin’ app!

Sadly, most cheaters are identified by their continual absence—especially when it comes to you needing him. He’s always out. Always working. Always taking care of business. He has a million excuses and they all seem legit. But then again, the pattern is there. He doesn’t seem to enjoy spending time with you and a man who is serious about being faithful DOES.

4. When you call him on his lies or his strange disappearances, he never accepts it. He turns the blame on you.

A man who loves you and who’s faithful listens. He may argue or even get angry…but deflecting the conversation off him and onto you is the tool of the deceiver. He will make you doubt yourself. He will call you clingy or “psycho”, hoping to make you feel crazy for ever doubting him. A man with nothing to hide will be able to deal with the problem. A guilty man will try to “spin” the story to make himself look perfect.

5. He gives up trying to have sex.

No sex is definitely a yellow light, although it may not be “red”. Men may stop initiating sex if they are getting it somewhere else. Although it’s worth noting that some men masturbate to porn and don’t consider that cheating. The point is, all men have sexual desires. You either know where his energy is going (to you or the computer) or you can assume he’s getting his needs met elsewhere. Because you will seldom find a man that just “controls” his sexual desire so perfectly.

6. You catch him in a lie.

Men who cheat must embrace the lying lifestyle. Unless they’re experienced at lying, they will usually get caught in a big one. Just stick to the facts. Have him verify the names of people, places and times so you can compare his statements with other facts, or other testimonies, or even what he once said before. Once you catch him in a lie he will either confess or once again try to convince you that a fact (the fact that he lied and is hiding something) is somehow a terrible thing that you did.

7. You still haven’t met his family.

Men who cheat usually avoid combining worlds of sex and love. They introduce women they really adore and admire to their mothers and fathers. But they keep their “mistresses” away from the family to avoid confusion. If he’s cheating on you that’s double the reason to keep you away from the family, so that you won’t hear of the other women they occasionally see.

8. You find evidence of his availability on Craigslist, Tinder, or another singles app.

Compulsive cheaters really don’t wait for emotional attachment to a mistress—they’ll take whoever is willing to have sex with them. So if you have strong suspicions that he might be cheating, one bit of “hard evidence” to gather is his presence on a dating app. If he’s involved with you he has no business creating a singles profile. It means he needs sex ASAP from whomever is reasonably pretty.

Now just because a man cheats or is thinking of cheating doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is doomed. It’s time to discuss the matter…but it’s NOT time to negotiate, discuss hurt feelings or beg for him to stop seeing her.

Now is the time to distance yourself and start being single again. Show him that you don’t tolerate being second best. Take time to work on yourself. Date someone else, if you have the desire. If he wants you back, he’s going to have to chase you again and become a better man this time around…because that’s what you deserve.

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Talk soon,

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About The Author

Matthew Coast

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