It seems like everything happens through a screen in this digital age, but that doesn’t mean connections made this way are less impactful. In fact, more and more people are using apps and the internet to meet new people and connect. The Knot even did a survey in 2021 that showed one in four couples met through online dating!
However, because texting and typing don’t showcase the same range of emotions as face-to-face interactions, it can be difficult to figure out how to ask him if he likes you over text–you don’t want your text to sound needy or indifferent. At the same time, it can be hard to know how to explain your feelings to a guy when you don’t have the ability to immediately gauge his reaction.
Signs He Is Interested Over Text
The good news is that there are ways to tell if he is interested in you just through his texts:
He may have told you upfront that his work is in its busy season, or his job doesn’t allow him to be on the phone much. If he communicated his reasons for delayed response times, that’s totally acceptable.
Many dating coaches and advice columnists emphasize that he will respond right away if he’s interested, but this is a myth. Whether he takes a few minutes or a few hours to respond, that’s all in the realm of ‘normal.’
If he takes days to respond, though, that’s not a great sign. A guy who respects your time and wants to keep your attention will let you know in advance if he will be unreachable for an extended period of time. There are men who will go out of their way to schedule a time to call and check in with their partners–even on a boys’ weekend! If he disappears for days and then comes up with an excuse after you confront him, that’s a red flag.
Effort in Messages
When he responds, is it thoughtful? Small talk is normal, but in dating, it is often impersonal and not leading to much–these are effortless conversations, and not in a good way.
He doesn’t need to write long paragraphs that are suited for a Jane Austen novel, but he should be making an effort to have a real conversation with you. If he’s not, he may just be doing the bare minimum to keep you hanging on while he explores other options.
Trying to Meet Again
Above all else, is he taking the initiative to meet up with you in person? We’re not talking about a late-night, last-minute invitation–we want to know if he’s mentioning that restaurant you two talked about and offering to make reservations.
When a guy is interested, he won’t want to be just pen pals. Invest your time in a man who is making a real investment in you. When a guy meets a woman he is attracted to and wants to please, he tries to see and impress her.
You can tell a lot about a guy through texting, but if you haven’t met in person yet, you may want to re-evaluate your feelings. Does it seem like he dodges the topic of meeting in person? If so, you may want to move on.
If you have met and both have busy schedules, correspondence mainly over text is normal. Maybe he has already expressed his feelings and you’re now thinking about what to say when a guy says he likes you!
Whatever the reason, it’s important to acknowledge that communication over text is complicated and that there are still ways to tell if he genuinely likes you and to keep the connection moving forward.