How to Make Him Worry About Losing You – 5 Steps

It really does hurt when a man takes you for granted, doesn’t it? You know, one of my friends recently told me about her dating experiences, including a few serious relationships that somehow didn’t work out.

She candidly told me, “I think as a woman you really have to set boundaries early on and stick to them. Otherwise, men will walk all over you.”

I’m not sure I agreed with that statement which was why I asked, “Do ALL men really do that, though?”

She surprised with her answer. “All human beings do it. It’s human nature. We first learn respect as a child when an adult tells us NO. Self-respect is all about saying no and being happy with your boundaries.”

When she puts it that way, well yeah it’s hard to disagree. I’m not sure I would agree that I believe all people are inherently selfish and will look to exploit each other.

But let’s put it this way. If you never say no, how is anyone supposed to know what your boundaries are? Where’s the line, where’s the extreme? You never really know just how far a person can push you until you decide in advance, “No I deserve better than that. This is my line. This is the boundary.”

Saying no, and standing up for yourself as a strong and independent woman, is an important step in gaining self-respect.

And guess what? Once you find out that you’re in a relationship where your boundaries are being violated, or that your man simply takes you for granted and isn’t trying to make you happy anymore, it’s time to send a STRONG MESSAGE.

This is the line. I will not tolerate it. And if things don’t change, I will leave.

It’s much better to actually mean it rather than just make empty promises about leaving. I actually don’t think a woman should threaten to leave. I think instead, she should follow this simple 5-Step formula and SHOW him that if he keeps this negative behavior up, the relationship will end. No need for promises or threats.

Rather I want you to try this formula. Make him worry about losing you so that he senses the value he has in this relationship and he feels the loss that will happen if he keeps it up.

Here are the five steps that actually work.

1. Give him space.

Do not threaten him or try to appease him. Just stop. Give him time to be independent and time to miss you. Not reacting to him, and not trying to manipulate him to feel or do something, is the only way to send a strong message. That he’s pushing you away.

2. Stop showing that you care.

Likewise, stop going out of your way to express how you feel, even if you feel the desire to do so. Stop saving him, stop appeasing him. You have to distance yourself emotionally so that he will FEEL the reality of what will happen. That is, cutting off emotional intimacy. Rewarding him by continuing to care and express how much you need him will only reinforce his bad attitude. He can get away with anything because you’ll still love him. Dangerous place to be!

3. Stop responding to his attention…make him work harder to get you back.

Here, most women will make the mistake of instantly getting back together with a guy as soon as he takes one step forward. Like calling or texting or trying to have sex, and so on. These moves, however, are not BIG enough to merit you coming back to him!

He hasn’t proven his love, he hasn’t put forth hardly any effort to win you back. He still hasn’t been tested to see if he really wants you. Remember, the harder a man works to get your attention, the more he realizes you’re worth it. Make him prove himself by investing more time and attention

4. Stop doing nice things for him.

Women who continue to keep up chores, even if they’re going through a separation or “no talking” period, are sending a weak message. They’re basically saying, “I’m unhappy with you…but I’ll keep taking care of you because I don’t want you to leave.”

But if he’s asking for independence, then that’s exactly what he needs—full independence with no help from you. You’ll stop caring for his needs, stop doing nice things, and stop sharing responsibilities with him. Don’t just give him the gift of missing you…give him the gift of making him realize, HE NEEDS YOU. He needs you to help him, support him and take care of him as an emotionally invested partner.

Realizing that independence comes at a high price may sober him up and get him thinking about his long-term future.

5. Go on and live your life without him.

Whether you’re still married or living apart, this final step works wonders! Get busy and move forward. Live your own life, do your own thing and don’t STALL waiting for him. This sends him another strong message: that life will go on, even if one of you walks away. You’re independent, so you don’t need him to survive. You’re also happy, busy and ready to live life to its fullest. You won’t wallow in his negativity or continue to give him power over you.

Take up new hobbies. Travel alone to new adventures. Go out by yourself and get dolled up. Improve yourself while he watches from the outside…realizing that he wants you back. Realizing that he was much happier when he had you.

I know it seems as if these “extreme measures” are too risky and you’re afraid of losing him. But they are going along with the nature of masculine and feminine egos.

He wants more independence. Give him what he wants. But work on yourself, your self-esteem, your sense of value and your happiness. Embrace YOUR independence.

That will show him more than anything else that he will lose you, if he doesn’t change. This is your boundary, your line, your point of no return.

And unlike empty promises, he will feel this coming from a mile away. He’ll have no one to blame but himself for letting it happen.

And that moment! That’s when he’s going to realize he misses you and wants you back. He needs you back! And this time things really will be different.

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About The Author

Matthew Coast

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