Initiate Contact After a No-Contact

How to Initiate Contact After a No-Contact Period

If you are reading this, congratulations are in order–you are about to cross the finish line on your no-contact period. It wasn’t easy, I know. The no-contact period is not for the faint of heart. 

I’m sure there were several times you wondered what he thinks when you don’t contact him or how to know if no contact is working, and you wouldn’t be the first to question how long it takes for no contact to work

It takes a lot to restrain yourself from reaching out to the one person you want to talk to the most, and for that, I applaud you. But now, your no-contact period is over and you are excited to reach out to your ex. How do you go about it? 

More importantly, ask yourself if you are truly ready to initiate contact with him. Answer these questions truthfully: 

  • Are you constantly keeping tabs on him through his social media accounts? 
  • Do you desperately want him back? 
  • Does the thought of your ex with someone new make you sick to your stomach?
  • Are you planning how you’ll express your love for your ex the moment he responds? 

If you answered “yes” to any of the above, I highly encourage you to extend your no-contact period for a little longer. This might not be what you want to hear, but remember that the goal of the no-contact period is to make your ex want you back. What do you think your ex will respond to best—an overly emotional outpouring of love that borders on desperation, or a confident, calm, and collected message? 

Coming on too strong can hurt your chances of getting him back–men want what they cannot have. Aside from making him want you back, the no-contact period is a great time to focus on yourself, recognize your value, and adopt an abundance mindset. 

If you can honestly answer “no” to all the questions above, let’s discuss the next step: initiating contact. 


Text, Don’t Call

A call can appear completely out of the blue. He might see your name pop up and feel overwhelmed at the thought of talking to you, or he might miss your call altogether. I think you know where I’m going with this—a text is the way to go. 

As tempting as it is to send a short “Hi, how are you?” text, take the time to come up with a well thought-out message that increases your chances of a reply. The trick is to send a simple message that helps you test his interest without overwhelming him. Is there a topic you’d like advice on? Is there a coffee shop you can’t remember the name of that you frequented together? Did you come across a piece of art or a song you know he’d like? 

The key is finding genuine conversation starters that shift the focus away from your relationship. You don’t want him to feel cornered.


Let It Be 

You’ve sent your text. Now what? Let it go. 

The no-contact period does more than help you get your ex back—it helps you find your own power. Regardless of the outcome, you are a radiant, confident woman. Remember your worth and be proud of yourself for getting through the most challenging part. 

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