How to Give a Good Blow Job (What the Experts Say)

It isn’t every day you have a discussion about “what makes a good blowjob” and it’s seldom ever discussed in the office, at the movies, or standing in line at the grocery store. Because it’s not really polite conversation, is it?

But hey, when someone is actually open enough to share ideas on how to give better head, then it should go without saying that it’s time to listen, take notes and steal ideas liberally.

Hey, sorry geniuses but blowjob techniques are not copyrightable. If you learn of someone else’s technique and they swear by it, there’s no good reason not to steal it and please your man tonight. Here are seven ideas we got straight from the er, mouths, of experts. Share liberally if you must…but more importantly, use them on your boyfriend or husband and blow his mind.

1. Start slow…

The buildup to climax is usually the best part of the experience. Don’t immediately do anything. Split everything you know about good BJs into 10 individual steps. Don’t immediately start sucking him. Try touching him, then licking him, then putting just the tip in your mouth, letting him get harder without any hands, and so on until steadily add more delights the longer it goes on. Men love the tease and the anticipation of the big climax…perhaps even more than the climax itself. Experts also agree that working your way slowly from “base to tip” is the best choreography of a blowjob.

2. Make it sloppy…and get some help.

Sloppy is always good when it’s BJ time, but don’t think you have to rely on your own spit—especially if you’re struggling to keep things wet. Handjobs always require lots of extra lube. But blowjobs are also even better when you add more lube. Get some edible lube (strawberry or chocolate flavor) and then see how much easier and kinkier it is to give him a mind blowing suck. (Trust me he won’t complain about you wanting some edible lube, especially after he feels the difference)

3. Focus more attention on using your hands.

Although we mentioned varying the way you use your tongue and lips, let’s call extra attention to the hands. Hands are what actually cause the greatest pressure and friction during a good blowjob. Whether you’re stroking him, rubbing him, cupping his testicles, or bouncing his penis on your breasts, all of these are HAND gestures that make the oral sex even hotter. You can only vary your sucking so much…but there are many sexy foreplay tricks to try with your hands.

4. Get feedback before, during and after.

The absolute best way to become the ultimate man pleaser? Ask the man! I know it’s always cool and romantic when a partner “just knows” but statistically that’s fairly uncommon. The best way to ensure better sexual performance is to ask questions, demonstrate, and get constructive feedback on how to do it better. Ask for general guidelines before you try a BJ. Then, ask him sexy SHORT questions during the act, asking things like:

“You like when I _______?”

“How does that feel?”

“Is that what you want, big boy?”

These “sexy” feedback questions are not really about heavy detail, but they can give you both verbal cues to respond to. Finally, you talk about ways to improve the technique during the afterglow stage. For example, “next time do you want me to do it this way or that way?”

5. Find a position you’re actually comfortable in.

While most men have ideas of how a BJ is situated in the room, there is definitely no hard and fast rules. And frankly, a guy really doesn’t care about positioning as long as he’s, well, getting his dick sucked. This means you can try it from any position that feels good to you, such as lying on a bed, using a pillow on your knees, or even sixty-nining so that YOU feel more turned on too.

6. Use your tongue to vary the rhythm.

Maybe the least commonly known blowjob mistake is that women go for the “constant sucking!” That’s too repetitive actually. The best way to drive a man wild with oral sex is to actually vary the “rhythm” of sucking and licking and leave him guessing. Take turns sucking, then going back to licking part of the shaft or the frenulum (sensitive underside of the head), then go back to sucking harder but using more hand strength.

When it’s time to climax, give more repeated and stronger pressure—it’s what you’ve been denying him all this time, and what he needs to orgasm and ejaculate.

7. Avoid too much HARD pressure.

The best advice on how to not hurt a man during a blowjob is to avoid extremes of pressure. Not only is this true of hand stroking (not enough lube and hard stroking is actually painful) but also in handling the testicles and the head. The more aroused he becomes the more sensitive he is. His penis can handle a wet vagina yanking him around, but hands and mouth get a little trickier. Learn to gauge his pleasure and then increase according to his desire. This is especially important AFTER orgasm when he becomes very sensitive around the head, and will want you to slow things down gradually until you stop.

Ultimately the answer lies in “being in the moment” and actually enjoying this UNIQUE experience for what it is. Don’t do what everyone else does. Don’t just keep repeating the same basic two moves and hoping for the best. Take the time to appreciate this moment, realizing how far you’ve both come. Sense what pleases him. Experiment with what you think he might enjoy. Take joy in the moment.

Find his own unique combination of foreplay techniques and practice giving him what he wants. Practice makes perfect and no man has ever complained about getting too many blowjobs in his life.

You can learn how to be GREAT lover through sex-ed alone! Watch him be surprised as he can’t quite figure out where you learned to be “soooo good” at a naughty good.

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About The Author

Matthew Coast

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