How to Be Seductive (9 Ways to Make Him Crave You)

Some men got it, some women got it…but some don’t. What are we talking about? They use to call it “The It Factor.” A special kind of charisma or presence that sets you apart from others.

What is “It”? Is it just confidence? Is it that movie star quality or just your amazing charm? Some people even claim it may be a special chemical advantage, such as pheromones that attract other people to you.

But maybe it’s actually something much more basic. Maybe it’s just the skill of seduction. Seduction, sexuality, sensuality…whatever you want to call it, it’s hard to resist when you see it.

Some people exude sexuality. Look at a young Marlon Brando or Sophia Loren. Maybe you’ve even had an ex-boyfriend that just had a bad boy aura, a smoldering sexuality that instantly made you desire him. Lucky guy, right? Born with these gifts of influence and power?

Well, believe it or not, “seduction” is a learnable quality. Some people may be born with the advantage, but ANYONE can learn it, male or female.

Maybe you think you have girlfriends or acquaintances who are charismatic or seductive, whereas you come across as shy, awkward or even a little goofy. Don’t worry…most people are awkward in the beginning. But you can learn seduction. You can learn how to speak, move and act seductively and instantly feel a change in the way you deal with people on a daily basis. Let’s discuss nine strategies for learning how to be seductive and learning how to influence the people around you using feminine power.

1. Strong Eye Contact

Strong eye contact may be the most seductive move on the menu, especially when you master the art of staring, looking away and then glancing back again. It’s not all about staring. But it’s about capturing the person’s imagination with just one momentary gaze and then a welcoming but guarded smile.

2. Asking Open-Ended Questions

Even if you were to study seductive actors in movies (hey, great idea for a college course, right?) you would notice that most femme fatales ASK QUESTIONS. They encourage the other person to open up and share ideas and viewpoints by asking more challenging questions. These questions are open-ended and encourage opinion, rather than focus on Yes or No.

3. Good Humor and Selective Laughter

It should be obvious that good humor is sexy in any situation. It helps reduce awkwardness and shows strong confidence when you can find something funny in the mundane. But the real key to being seductive and flirty is to control your laughter and only laugh in highlights of the conversation. For the best results, “reward” the guy you’re flirting with a big laugh after he works hard to impress you. Don’t laugh just because you’re nervous. Make the big guy work for it.

4. Project Mystery

There’s nothing more a man likes than a good mystery. Even better if that mystery is a sexy devil in a blue dress, so to speak. She doesn’t tell him her life story. She selectively feeds him personal info, but she mostly gets HIM to pour his heart out. She doesn’t act predictably. She doesn’t sleep with him but she entices him to think sexual thoughts in conversation. When she walks away, his mind is blown. What he doesn’t know turns him on! By remaining mysterious she always exudes power and confidence.

5. Get Closer and Get Touchy-Feely

There’s something irresistible about a woman who fearlessly gets closer to a man—letting him cower first. Not only does she break the barrier, by moving into his space AND touching him on the arm or shoulder, but she also gets close enough for the man to smell her. Assuming she’s clean and has just a subtle dash of perfume, it’s hard for a man to think straight.

This is not only bold and seductive in behavior, but also activates a chemical process in his body, forcing him to react to you physically. If there’s any attraction and compatibility he instantly feels it.

6. Little Compliments

You’re right in thinking that men like compliments—it encourages them to keep trying harder to impressing you. But big and bold compliments usually scare a person away. Smaller compliments, both physical and personality-based, give your man a little pull that motivates him to keep going. Reward him with small compliments and encourage the chase.

7. Mirror His Movements

Seductive people are naturally very good at building rapport with others. One way to quickly get a man to trust you is to alter your movements, posture and voice quality to mirror him. Imitating his body language sends a strong message: I feel comfortable with you. We do things alike. We feel the same way. Consider it a physical compliment. It really doesn’t matter if he “notices” you are mirroring him. He will either subconsciously enjoy it or consciously will think he’s impressing you.

8. Use his name like a swear word.

Men consider it a great reward if you use their name in conversation. All the more so if you can use it in a sexy way, like repeating it in a lower tone of voice, or adding a bit of a throaty or breathless voice. Using a man’s name draws his attention to you. It’s almost a bit of an instinctive reflex, started by your parents and family members when they demanded your attention. As you grow up, this becomes something of an emotional tag. When a person uses your name, you take special note. You see this as an important conversation. So naturally, when you call a man to attention by using his name, you are already beginning to seduce him with emotional cues. Just remember to not over-use his name, but use it sparingly and at highlights in the conversation.

9. Give him the attention he yearns for.

Lastly, never underestimate the power of paying a person close attention. Don’t just listen, don’t just allow him to talk. Show an interest in the subjects he is passionate about. People will always come alive when you show interest in the things they want to talk about. When you discuss things only of interest to YOU, naturally, the other person says less. This works especially well when you add a bit of sexual tension. The man craves your attention and will talk a mile a minute if he thinks he’s impressing you. Don’t just reward him with flirty gestures and facial expressions—reward him with a good conversation!

As you can see, seduction is not about wearing certain clothes or imitating an actor on TV. It’s about communicating with another person and reaching a new level of trust and intimacy. Anyone can be seductive if they learn good communication skills.

40 Flirty Texts That Men Absolutely Love

If you’re struggling to figure out what to say to your man to bring you closer together, I’ve put together a guide of 40 fun and flirty text messages that will spark a stronger and deeper desire in whatever man you use them with.

If you don’t know what to say to your man, use these “cut and paste” text messages from my free guide and watch how much he absolutely loves it!

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About The Author

Matthew Coast

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