How Can You Have the Most Passionate Valentine’s Day of Your Life?

I notice in 2018, a lot of websites are saying that it’s time for single women to have the most passionate Valentine’s Day of their lives. Date a stranger. Do something wild. I get it and it’s all good. But of course, this doesn’t do much for the happily linked couple, does it?

Is everyone in a committed relationship doomed to have a boring, respectable Valentine’s Day while the singles are out having the best sex of their lives?

I don’t think so. I think Valentine’s Day is a great opportunity for committed couples to go slightly outside their comfort zone and to do something new, exciting and passionate. Let’s discuss a few ways you and yours can do this.

1. Don’t count on your man to be romantic. Become part of the experience and let him know this is all about fun.

If you expect your man to create romance, when he’s not a naturally expressive kind of guy, you’re bound to be disappointed. This is why you should approach Valentine’s Day as a couple’s activity. Let him feel like this is a vacation away from the drudgery of the daily routine. This is not about “him being romantic.” This is about the two of you being romantic, playful and fun together!

This means that you’re both promising to be open and expressive this February 14th. Passion only works when it’s shared and when communication is honest and billowing with excitement. Make a resolution that you’re going to discuss romance and passion.

I think it’s less fun for men when they think romance means they have to recite poetry someone else wrote and dance to songs they don’t like, all the while saying everything perfectly. I don’t think that’s what women want to hear, either.

I think romance is best when it’s deeply personal. Greeting cards aren’t genuine. Respectable and nice courtship is not sexy. Saying everything perfectly romantic doesn’t give you the heat of the moment. In order for him to be romantic, he has to feel the emotion. He has to be having fun.

The same is true for sex. Better communication will help you both express fantasies and then allow you to fulfill each other’s fantasies. Asking for what you want always works better than hoping he guesses it exactly right. Teaching each other how to be better lovers, and how to tease each other like crazy, is part of the “reality” of sex that many still refuse to see. Don’t expect something magical to happen when it’s far more enjoyable to just make it happen.

2. Be playful, not respectable.

The chase is really what makes romance possible in the first place. Think back to when you first met. You didn’t like him instantly, or at least, you didn’t throw yourself at him just because he paid you some attention. He earned your attention through his wit and his hard work. He tried to impress you and you rewarded him with attention.

This is the basic motivation behind being playful on Valentine’s Day, rather than overly formal. If you want romance, you want it to be from the heart. You want it to be based on him CHASING you, him trying to impress you. So you have to resist him just a little bit, putting on the mindset that he definitely wants sex tonight…but he has to woo you just a little bit more.

Being playful is the “pull” he needs to keep going and to escalate the tension. Romance and sex shouldn’t be pushed so far apart. Sex isn’t what pleases a man, while romance pleases a woman. The objective should be to bring them closer together. Sex is what he desires, but being spontaneous, witty and boldly romantic is what puts you in the mood. This dynamic works if HE feels like he’s being himself and he’s being wildly romantic to sweep you off your you. In other words, he’s taking the lead. He tries harder when he’s in control of the situation.

The best way to inspire a man to take the lead in romance? Be reactive. To be fun. Reward him with positive attention and vivid expressions, the harder he tries. Smile, laugh and be giddy when he moves forward an inch. Let him know there’s so much more sex and romance to be enjoyed, when he pushes himself just a little bit harder.

3. Prepare him for this sexy vacation.

Valentine’s Day will never feel sexy or romantic if your guy thinks of it as just another special day he has to remember. Instead, prepare him to be romantic. Make him excited about the romance by sending texts or promising him lots of passion to come on this special occasion. Valentine’s Day is not just another day of routine sex or daily “I love you” reminders. This is a day that combines romance and sex. You fantasize about each other in advance. You tease each other with ideas on what to do, you make each anticipate the pleasure and the NEWNESS of what’s going to happen. The more you build anticipation with visual imagery, audio stimulation and sexy words that tickle their imagination, the more explosive the night of passion can be.

4. Take turns being selfless and selfish.

Sexual tension is like a dance, one where rhythm fluctuates. It feels alive when you both take turns leading. How does one lead in the bedroom? Simple answer: when you’re selfish, you lead. When you’re selfless, you follow. Too much leading will make the man feel unfulfilled. Too many following will put pressure on him. Doing both at different times is what makes the passion hot.

Take turns pleasing each other. Then, focus on fulfilling your selfish instincts. Enjoy it and enjoy telling your man what to do and being as vocal and expressive as you want. Next, it’s his turn. Too much “giving” in sex but not enough “getting” means the two of you are too polite to actually be kinky. This applies not only in sex but also in sharing and fulfilling fantasies that you both have. This Valentine’s Day discuss your fantasies openly and ways on how to make them come true. How to extend these sexual sessions beyond just 10 minutes and all into the night, lasting hours. Fantasy sex doesn’t just have to be about the sex. It can involve talking, sharing thoughts, feelings, sharing fantasies, telling stories, and being free to interact—the essence of romance and intimacy!

5. Embrace the romantic afterglow as part of the sexual experience.

Since this passion lasts all night and into the next morning, so embrace afterglow as the best part of the sexual experience. This is also the peak time for romance since (A) he’s no longer craving sex and (B) he’s now extra touchy-feely because of those love hormones being released. Chat while naked and let him bask in the fruits of his labor, so to speak. Get him talking. Talk about the past, present, and future…what he wants from you and how to make your commitment to each other even stronger. The more he talks about his true feelings, without judgment, the more in touch he will be with his romantic side. He will be grateful for your full attention and how you always motivate him to share his secret thoughts.

Chat with him so long that he literally falls asleep in your arms. Carry that intimacy over to the next morning. As you can see, sex and romance are not enemies on Valentine’s Day. They are tightly intertwined when both partners feel mentally connected and can express themselves physically and emotionally.

Experience a Valentine’s Day miracle this year!

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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