Be With Someone Who Does These 8 Things For You

If you were to make a list of “must have” characteristics of the perfect man, what would you write down? If you haven’t done so already, I’d suggest you do it, if for no other reason than curiosity. Go ahead and make a list of MUST HAVE qualities that you want to see. He should have all or at least most qualities. If you want, you can substitute an abstract quality for something more specific, like “He must be nice to his mother” or whatever you wish.

I feel making a list like this is a great learning tool, because deep down, even before we meet “the right one”, we do kind of get a vision of who he is.

Think about it: you know what you’re attracted to. You know the kind of men you find attractive and the kind of gestures that he would have to do to make you feel loved.

Just because you haven’t met him yet doesn’t mean you don’t know what you’re looking for. And the better you know exactly what you’re looking for, the better the relationship will be.

How is that so? Isn’t it less romantic to plan out the right type of guy and just follow your heart?

Ask yourself this: is being married to a narcissist or psychopath romantic? Of course not! But that’s the kind of risk you take when you date exclusively by the heart and when you ignore your conscience, your sense of reason, and even dismiss all the warnings friends and family are giving you.

Deep down we ALL have good instincts. When we feel doubt there’s a reason. Our subconscious mind may even sense something that our logical mind is not quite seeing, something that doesn’t “feel” right.

This is one reason why I say, make a list. Make a list of what your perfect man should be like. Hold him to a high moral standard, someone equal with you, someone who embodies the same values that you do. Someone worthy of your parents, worthy of your family and friends who are the best people you’ve ever known in life.

If you make your list and follow it through, you will find the marriage you want and the one you deserve. No mistakes or “starter marriages” needed.

In fact, I’ll help out by creating a sort of template list that you can read and then base your own answers on. Here are 8 husband suggestions that most psychology and marriage counselors might volunteer. Do they match up with your list?

1. I want a man who pays attention to me.

He listens closely. He doesn’t just listen to cues or nod, but he actually listens and remembers information! Listening always helps in avoiding arguments and being a good emotional provider.

2. I want a man who goes out of his way just to make me happy.

There’s something very endearing about a man who steps out of his comfort zone just to make you smile. Since most men gradually do less to please you over time, be very wary of men who barely lift a finger to please you. Be amazed at the man that always sacrifices his own comfort to make sure you’re happy.

3. I want a man that supports me in whatever I choose to do.

You’ll meet plenty of handsome and sexy guys who want to control you is laugh at your dreams. Or who want to help you, as long as they still make more money than you. These guys are common. A man who wants you to be your best, and helps you achieve your dreams, is truly someone rare and beautiful.

4. I want a man who is kind to my family.

While a lot of men will “fake it” to a degree, a real man embraces the opportunity to meet your parents and appreciate who they are. In fact, meeting your entire family will help a man better understand your family history and who you really are inside. He should jump at the chance to make these acquaintances his friends.

5. I want a man who enjoys having fun.

There are some brilliant brooders in the world, no question. But no matter how amazing he is in art or charm, if he’s never happy with you or with the world, it won’t be a very fun marriage. A man who can have fun in any situation—even when times are rough—will help make your life a little brighter.

6. I want a man who is mature about handling disagreement.

No one’s going to make it through a marriage without enduring lots of arguing. The question is how mature is he? Can he get over emotional conflicts easily? Is he mature enough to admit when he does something wrong? Narcissistic guys are sometimes funny and fun to argue with at first…but that wears off fast. In time, you will appreciate a man who values your feelings and who wants to settle arguments rather than keep them fired up for years on end.

7. I want a man who wants to provide for me and enjoys it.

A man is just born to provide for his family. Now that may or may not be talking about money. A man has resources. When he meets the woman of his dreams he gives freely. He enjoys giving. Whether that’s working hard, or being a father, or making you laugh, or giving you affection, whatever it is, he loves doing it and will do it for the rest of your lives. In contrast, a man who begrudgingly provides and who sighs every time you want something, will make for a miserable marriage mate.

8. Date someone who is emotionally mature.

Emotional maturity is not just rational. It’s vulnerable. It’s expressive! It’s the ability of a man to give you a genuine compliment without sarcasm. To confide in you his fears and worries. To read you a love letter he wrote and mean every word of it. When he notices you’re upset, he wants to talk it over with you. There are plenty of handsome men out there who are emotionally stunted. Living with them might be possible…but it’s not nearly as fun as living with a man who is emotionally open and healthy.

Create your own list of good qualities and try to check off each characteristic before committing to a guy. Don’t settle for someone who ignites a spark. Fall in love with a man who goes the distance.

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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