Maybe it starts with a thought. The inclination is to watch him, to monitor him. Sure enough, he begins to act differently. Then your curiosity slowly grows into paranoia.
You know he’s unhappy. You know he likes to flirt. Maybe you’ve even caught other women flirting with him.
It fills you with an overwhelming feeling of jealousy. You couldn’t handle the thought of him cheating. It would destroy you! This only multiplies the feelings of panic. Maybe you ever think that if he left you, life would just end.
So dark and tragic right?
But please believe me when I tell you that it’s NOT that bad. You know how every medical article on the internet starts with “Don’t panic…” Well, the same applies here.
Panicking at the thought of infidelity only makes the situation worse. It exaggerates fear, jealousy, and despair – to the point that you begin tormenting your man with accidental mind games.
Annoyed by a partner’s paranoia and suspicion, it is THEN, right then, that the guy actually starts to think about cheating or leaving. Because his partner has lost all control and there is nothing left but conflict and emotional breakdown – all things that will push him out that door!
So you have the realization that he’s going to cheat or is thinking about cheating. Logically…calmly…what is the next step?
You want to stop him from cheating, right? That’s the practical approach, not hysteria, and not conflict. So let’s take it one step at a time. Let’s consider 5 ways to prevent your guy from cheating – no matter how horny, lonely, or angry he might be. Believe me, you will always have the advantage.
1. Stop treating infidelity like such a taboo.
The more afraid you both are to talk about it, the lustier and more forbidden it becomes. Talk openly about sex. Tell him it’s NOT a big deal if he fantasizes about cheating. In fact, the next time you have sex, butter him up with a cheating fantasy. The worst mistake you can make is withdrawing from him emotionally. Now is the time to talk about your feelings, even if those feelings are just sexual. Soon enough, he will admit what he’s thinking and feeling.
2. Make an effort to have more sex.
It doesn’t take a brain surgeon to realize that guys who are tempted to cheat usually have nothing going on in the bedroom. They fantasize about sex with another woman because it satisfies their need – a need that is otherwise missing.
Now that’s not to say that it’s a woman’s obligation to turn on a man and be his sex slave, of course not. It’s always a 50/50 process. But what you both need to do is arrange time for sex and plan an entire night devoted to foreplay and romance. I know, it’s not very romantic to organize and schedule intimacy. But guess what? In today’s hectic world you either have to be a little administrative about it, or nothing will happen! Spontaneity feels great, but it’s not always possible if you have to juggle other family or career responsibilities. Talk things over and make an effort to have more sex.
Be enthusiastic about your own desires and kinks, rather than just treating sex as a job, a gift for him. It should be a joy for you too! If it’s not, it’s time to re-train him to be a better lover, the kind that thrills you and excites you. Putting the lust back into your relationship – and making sure you’re both turned on – is the best way to reduce a lonely man’s libido!
3. Re-prioritize the relationship.
Men are highly sensitive to “emotional affairs” that women might be having, even if that affair is not romantic in nature. For instance, men can become jealous of a woman’s career, her hobby, her girlfriends, or any other distraction that takes the attention off of him. Once a man senses that he is no longer the priority in a relationship, he loses heart. He goes through a stage of loneliness and depression…sometimes he goes to that point of no return, where he starts looking for another woman to fall in love with.
Right before that point, it’s time to re-prioritize both of your lives. Focus on rebuilding your relationship and making it more of a team effort with more open communication and renegotiating what you want from your most trusted friend and lover.
This also involves learning your man’s own unique “love language”, that is, the way he expresses love to you and the way he wants you to show love. All of this effort proves to him that you want to make him a priority and that you’re willing – not to save the relationship single-handedly – but to do your part in rekindling your romance.
4. Give him more freedom and independence.
One reason that men back away from a good relationship is that they feel smothered. Your guy might feel that you baby him too much, nag him, control him or suffocate him with attention. While men do want attention, they also need a sense of independence and freedom, to go where they want, do what they want, and live however they want, independent of your schedule.
Obviously, these must be a compromise if you’re going to be a team. Give him time for himself but schedule time to be together romantically again. Rather than smother him with micromanaging behavior (and sometimes that happens when you love a man so intensely) try this new approach: only show appreciation for the things he does for you. The effort he puts forth is what he wants you to notice. Lavish him with attention for that…but when he’s off on his own, give him more freedom to manage his own life and make decisions on his own.
Giving him more freedom in this way lets your guy feel powerful, masculine, and more trusting of you. He can be himself while still coming home to you and that’s what he wants the most.
5. Don’t be afraid of experimentation.
If a boring sex life is really the problem (and it’s usually NOT) then make an effort, as a united couple, to explore something new together. This doesn’t mean you have to jump into a kinky lifestyle change or anything like that. All it means is that you can both read up on kinky practices and exchange fantasies and simply explore each other’s minds.
This may be enough to get him excited about a new sexual adventure. Remember that, though there are obviously some exceptions, MOST men are not tempted to cheat because of wanton sexual over-drive. It’s almost never that! It’s almost always a problem in the relationship, usually one where he feels neglected or smothered. You can still repair the rift that has happened in your strong “forever bond”.
Now I’m not saying that this is a 100% sure-fire way to stop your man from cheating. No one can guarantee anything because everyone in life has a choice. And your guy has a choice – whether to value his relationship with you or discard its value, by cheating and intentionally hurting you.
I understand that some men might be weak…and there might be extenuating circumstances. That’s why ultimately you have to decide whether to end the relationship and look for a man with better self-control or negotiate some kind of open marriage compromise – IF it’s a relationship worth keeping.
Just a word of caution: never enter into one of those dysfunctional relationships where he’s always hurting you and you’re always forgiving him, warning him that this is his last chance. Those relationships never work out and will only end up hurting you. Some people believe that cheaters will never change because their thinking patterns have been altered; once a cheater, always a cheater, as the old expression goes.
But you do have an obligation: to keep your self-respect, to guard your heart, and to only pursue a relationship with a man who respects you and can live by the rules of this equal relationship. Don’t sell yourself short. Don’t forgive away your dignity. Be strong and be true to yourself BEFORE you are true to a man. In the end, a good man will love you, respect you, and crave you even more so for being true to yourself.
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5 word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…