Understanding What Men Want

5 Things You Should Never Stop Asking for in Your Relationship

We’ve written quite a bit here about rejecting the old personality of “needy, fawning, desperate” behavior towards men, and instead, to wear a crown of feminine power. Be assertive, be kind, but be confident. More importantly, develop deep inner confidence. What you feel inside, you project to others.

Once you learn this new attitude, you may have lingering questions about how to reconcile your natural tendency to please your man and ask helpful questions, but still, maintain your strong feminist / feminine persona.

The solution is quite simple. There are at least seven things you should always ask for and never should feel too ashamed or nervous to request these things. They aren’t favors but rights. They’re not privileges, but comforts that are owed to you, as a fellow human being, one respected by your boyfriend.

The same courtesy that you give to him, you have every right to request back.

The trick is, you have to know the right way to ask for it so that he doesn’t feel provoked to follow orders, but instead thrilled to provide for you. Men are just hard-wired to provide for the women they love, so when you “spin” this angle of “I need this” into the more positive “It would be nice if someone could…”

Here are five things that you can always ask in confidence, never fearing that you’re wearing out your welcome or getting on his nerves. Just be sure to follow the “spin” and make your requests only good associations.

1. You can always ask for affection.

Affection is the cornerstone of the adult romantic relationship. You can’t always fix his problems, nor can he fix yours. But what you can always provide each other is affection. Sometimes that means you need sympathy from him, an emotional reaction that shows he cares about your pain and wants to help you recover.

The best way to spin it is to react with enthusiasm when he does show you affection. Create a system of reward and non-reaction to respond to his antics. When he shows you affection, reward him with more affection, the kind he likes. When he withdraws and doesn’t give you the emotional support you enjoy, back away and stop rewarding him with doting attention.

2. You can always ask for his time and his attention.

You may not have power over his life, but as a girlfriend (and later a wife) you will always have the right to request some of his time ASAP. He may not always be available and you must accept this, particularly if he’s at work or away from home. But he does owe you the courtesy of giving you his attention, his undivided attention when he becomes available and that time can be scheduled.

When it happens, continue the pattern of positive association, rewarding him with attention and affection when he goes out of his way to make time for you. Attending to your needs should be his priority and if your interactions are always fun and appreciative of your end, he will never see this as a chore. He will see this as a call to action—time to save the day!

3. You can always ask for an open mind so that he can at least understand your perspective.

You won’t always agree on everything. Some of his opinions may even run contrary to yours. If that happens and you start to argue, a little empathy goes a long way in standing down and lowering those weapons of emotional war.

You don’t need him to agree with you and he shouldn’t require that you follow his rules just because he set them. Instead, you both want open-minded dialog. You want empathy—you want him to understand your perspective and how you feel about the situation. This quality of empathy, living in your partner’s shoes for just a moment, will help you both to make better compromises and a more peaceable household.

4. You can always ask for little gestures of respect, love, and appreciation.

He used to go out of his way to be a gentleman. He seemed to enjoy it…so what changed? It wasn’t just the novelty of sex wearing off, believe it or not. Most men actually give up their chivalrous behavior because they feel unappreciated by their partners. They sense that dating is over…their partner’s don’t expect it, don’t express appreciation, and so they do away with such “pointless acts”. It’s an overly logical viewpoint with all sentiment removed.

They didn’t forget the sentimentality…they simply have lost that incentive to be romantic and considerate. They need more stimulation, more emotional involvement in this task.

That’s why you should “ask” for such attention prudently…by showing more appreciation to him when he does these little gestures. Make sure he realizes that you DO notice all these little things. You thank him and give him ego-stroking attention IF and WHEN he puts forth the effort to please you. Reward him with attention for what he does and what he is, as a man of high moral character.

He will start to get the cue and follow your lead. He will crave your positive reactions to his little gestures and be reminded of how enjoyable it is to be a charmer of beautiful women. This is the chase…this is the secret to keeping things flirty and fun even when novelty wears off.

5. You can ask for romance and spontaneity. It’s not merely a man’s job to entertain you…it’s his very reason for being!

Many men are creatures of habit and routine, they actually long to break the pattern and do something new and exciting…as long as it’s fun. What they definitely do not associate with “fun” is a girlfriend nagging at them about why he’s so boring, why he never tries anything new, or why she’s feeling bored.

What should you do? Volunteer ideas yourself? You could…

But an even better idea is to start doing more and saying less. Rather than ask him directly, start proactively living a more exciting life yourself. Take up a new hobby. Do something exciting on your own time, without his input. Work on self-improvement and reclaim a little more independence on your own.

Why does this work? On one hand, you send a quiet message that YOU are bored of the routine and want to try something new. On the other, it doesn’t threaten him or infringe upon his right to be independent. It simply lets him know that you can come up with plans on your own and that you’re going to start getting busier in life…

Even before he realizes that you’re not as readily available to him, he will get the idea that he can join you on a new adventure or resist you and keep to the status quo. When you present him with enjoyable options to choose from (and cleverly work around his routine so he doesn’t have to give it up completely) he will learn that mixing things up has positive benefits. You’re happier, he’s happier, and he’s only enhancing his already great day.

Positive reinforcement is what works with men! You always have a right to ask for these basic needs, so don’t shy away from being assertive and communicating with him.

Just remember the old Mary Poppins song. A “spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down!” Make him happy to please you and he will be your most devoted follower and friend.

The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life

There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…

It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…

But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…

It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…

And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…

Have you figured out what it is yet?

Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…

And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…

Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…

Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…

A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…

And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…

Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…

If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…

I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…

Click here to watch the video now <<

My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…

I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…

Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…

When you click the link this link right here <<

I show you what this 5 word phrase is…

I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…

And how to attract the man you want…

Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…

No matter how painful things have been in your past…

You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…

Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…

If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…

If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…

And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…

Click this link to watch my video right now <<

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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