There is definitely wisdom in the expression that says, “The best revenge is to live happily.”
Because when you experience the physical symptoms of heartache or hatred (for the evil ex) you give the evil ex power over you. You let them live “rent-free” in your head, so to speak.
They continue on living as if nothing happened, and you’re stuck with the grief, anger, and anxiety.
So when someone tells you that the best revenge is living happy, that doesn’t necessarily mean the ex is going to be hexed or tortured by the sight of you. It’s not about him getting his comeuppance.
No, the wisdom is in what living happily does FOR YOU. It protects you from the damaging physical symptoms of heartache and anger. You deserve a better future than wallowing in the mistakes of the past.
Heartache – Like Smoking Cigs!
According to multiple studies, heartache causes literal, actual, physical problems in the body. It causes physical stress, which can lead to heart disease. In addition, emotional pain actually registers in the brain the same way as physical injury.
This is why you feel your heart breaking, and why people can die from a “broken heart.” A lot of people talk about good hormones, like oxytocin or dopamine, and how they help us to feel happy in daily life.
But there’s a reverse of it too. When you grieve heavily, and for a long period of time, these hormone levels drop and are replaced with cortisol. That is the opposite, the stress hormone.
Cortisol is also the “fight or flight” hormone that keeps you alive when your life is being threatened. It’s also a hormone that comes at a price.
Feeling stress constantly makes you anxious, nauseous, and can even contribute to weight gain and eating disorders. Let’s talk more about dangers associated with heartbreak.
Five Dangers Associated with Heartbreak
1. Higher stress, as if your emotional pain is really pummelling your insides
Stress is linked to heart attack, strokes, high blood pressure, and other killers.
2. Dietary problems, such as overeating or eating too little
Using food as a coping mechanism is dangerous, just as overeating any other substance. But the reverse can also happen. You can lose your appetite and become more prone to drinking, smoking, or using prescription pills to escape the pain.
3. Depression, which can lead to making impulsive mistakes
Depression can talk you out of new opportunities and direct you straight to more agony, pain, and self-defeating behavior. It’s a vicious cycle.
4. Lack of focus and insomnia
Not only will you have problems sleeping, but even when you’re awake, you never feel well rested. You may have a short attention span, or simply feel mentally fatigued.
5. Lowered heart rate
Lastly, your entire body can be compromised because of a lowered heart rate, a symptom of heart ache and picking at those emotional wounds. A lower than average heart rate not only damages your health overall but also reduces your energy and makes you feel physically tired all the time.
Can A Broken Heart Really Kill?
Is it exaggeration to say a broken heart can cause life-threatening symptoms? Well, in someone young, naturally, their younger body and strong immune system can probably survive the trauma in most cases – even though the damage takes its toll.
But there is actually a medical condition called cardiomyopathy (Takotsubo) which is acute emotional distress that affects the left venticle of the heart, leaving it paralyzed. This can lead to worrisome symptoms like chest pain, fainting, vomiting, and shortness of breath.
So now, we’re not saying you’re going to die of a heart attack just because a man left you! But generally speaking, a lifetime of stress and constant worry does significantly reduce your lifespan. Happier people live longer. Depression and anxiety are literal killers, since they do a number on the heart over decades of time.
The Cure for Grief and Anger
It’s not enough to say, “Be happy” or “forget him” because that’s not really focusing on the science. The truth is that you should spend more time stimulating positive brain responses, and avoiding the cortisol hormone that causes stress.
For instance, here’s a meme I borrowed from Mind Journal that emphasizes ways to naturally increase positive hormone production.
As you can see, the antidote to heartache is:
• Loving more, spreading your love from just one man to a whole community of family and friends
• Experiencing more, planning goals and seeing them through
• Communing with nature and feeling connected with the world
• Finding more joy in your life, in little things, as well as life goals
You might even say these positive hormones are addictive, but addictive in a good way. Soon, you become addicted to positive feelings in life. You start to plan for healthy activities, which increase your hapiness.
You spend less time with stress, more time pursuing the things that make you feel fulfilled. Before you know it, wallowing in heartache and anger feels foreign to you. It stresses you out to think about it. You’re much more comfortable pursuing the things that make you happy.
Don’t Think of Heartache As Trauma
In closing, try to associate breakups as something positive. No, it wasn’t pleasant to live through the pain. But it was necessary to LEARN. To learn about yourself and other people. It benefited you take something away from that painful experience, something you can use in the future, in building new friendships…and maybe even finding your true love.
Think of it this way. If you didn’t go through these experiences, which shaped you and influenced you profoundly, you wouldn’t have become the person you are right now. Everything you went through prepared you for this stage in your life. Now, you must find a soul mate and true love that understands your journey and can fully appreciate you as someone unique, interesting, amazing, and yes even “healing” in the sense that true love heals a wounded heart.
So yes, heartache is inevitable. But learn from it. And then learn to put the past behind you. Then, as you find love in a new relationship, you will truly feel alive and complete.
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5 word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…
Hi Matthew, I’ve been following you for awhile now, and I appreciate a lot of the info I’ve been able to get from your emails, and the latest one really helped me. I’m not going to go into my “heartbreaking” experience with someone I met and fell in love with, because it’s just too painful to disclose now, but your advice has struck a “chord” within me and I’m going to follow the advice yougive, because it has caused me a lot of the things you talk about, and did make me physically “sick: and emotionally devastated, but I’m getting better and I’m much stronger than he thought. My self-esteem was always intact, but being an Empath and always the “hopeless romantic” my whole life, I realized that I was always the “aggressor”, and always trying to “please” him because that is my heart, and I always put myself last! Never again! I know my worth. He did not! I will be fine, eventually, and maybe after this huge mistake(him!) I will find the “right man”…or not. Still, I’ll be okay. Thanks for the “relationship”advice. Honey Jackson