4 Signs He Wants You to Kiss Him

I don’t think there’s a dating coach anywhere on earth that would tell you something as brash as, “If you want to kiss a guy, go ahead and do it!”

I mean, yeah, sure, do some guys like it when women are more assertive and confident? Of course they do. That’s one of the top complaints men have about women, is that they always feel like they have to initiate sex.

But let’s get real for a minute. If you go around grabbing men in a lip lock, throwing caution to the wind, you’re in for a rude awakening.

Most guys don’t like that. And at best, he’ll think it’s weird and awkward…and at worst, well you could be Katy Perry and kiss a poor boy without his consent and be embarrassed all over national television.

Kissing a guy just because you like him is not a safe thing to do. And frankly, I usually tell my clients to let HIM make the first move. Not only are guys used to making the first move, but they usually want to make the first move so they can feel as if they’re the ones being dashing and romantic.

Now here’s the tricky part of this scenario.

What if the guy just NEVER makes a move? Is this even possible? You mean you could be dating a guy and there’s good chemistry, good flirting going on…

And yet he just never makes a move?

Confusing scenario, but I assure you it happens.

And it’s not necessarily that he’s a shy guy, believe it or not. Some guys really do just like women to make the first move.

Maybe they prefer it because:

A. They don’t want to be rejected.
B. They’ don’t want to come across as too “rapey”.
C. They really don’t know how to read signals and so hope the woman will let them know when she wants to kiss.
D. They want the woman to make the first move so that she feels she’s really interested.
E. This is just their dating strategy—a guy flirts with the woman so much that she just loses all control and lunges at him for a rough make out session.

There are a number of reasons why guys do this. It’s not really common, but then again, it’s not exactly rare. You might even be surprised to learn that some very confident and charming men will actually wait until you make the first move.

And that first move might not just be fluttering eyelashes or smiling. He might be waiting for you to kiss him!

Just a word of advice…be very careful about how soon you kiss a guy. Don’t make the first move UNTIL you observe most of these signs. This will serve as your “evidence” that he really does want you to kiss him first. Without this body of evidence, he could easily turn on you and say, “Whoah I think you have the wrong idea!” But the more of these signs you notice, the more likely he’s going to kiss you back.

1. His voice changes dramatically.

Even if a guy is waiting for you to make the first move, he WILL prepare himself for a kiss in subtle ways. His voice will become softer. He may also deepen his voice or start whispering in a sexy way. The fact that he’s talking softer means he’s trying to hold onto your attention and have even more intimacy in your conversation.

2. He’s becoming quiet but he doesn’t seem nervous.

A man who quiets down, stares at you, smiles, and yet doesn’t actually seem nervous, is definitely sending a message. He’s toying with the sexual tension that exists between you two. Awkward moments are not necessarily a bad thing. It reminds you both that there is a strong attraction and that you both secretly (or not so secretly) want to kiss.

He could kiss you…he feels that surge of confidence come over him. But he wants you to come to him. His eyes are focused on you and he’s definitely thinking something. Notice how close he’s standing and how seems very comfortable. He’s testing you…and it’s OK to rise to the challenge if the signs are there.

3. He’s been (heavily) flirting with you all night.

If he’s been flirting with you all night, he shouldn’t act surprised that you’re interpreting all these signs as a “Go ahead and kiss me” message. If he heavily flirts with you all night long and then suddenly becomes a cold fish when you move in for some action, he’s playing you. Flirting with someone for an entire evening is part of courtship so it should come as no surprise that a kiss may follow a really good evening—even though sex is out of the question.

The problem is, a guy should be “heavily” flirting with you, and not just like soft-flirting. What is soft-flirting anyway? Let’s call soft flirting the sort of “smile and be friendly!” behavior that everyone does on a good day. The same friendliness your boss shows on Friday, the same kindness grandma shows when you come to visit, and the same behavior your cat gives you. (Well hopefully the cat doesn’t smile…creepy!)

But there is clearly a difference between platonic or soft flirting and HEAVY flirting, which is all about creating strong sexual tension. Heavy flirting involves talking about the attraction between you, teasing each other, and him chasing you trying to get you to like him. It’s a totally different energy than platonic flirting—which is mainly just being nice to fellow human beings.

4. He touches you a lot throughout the night creating physical familiarity.

A confident man has no problem breaking the touch barrier and letting you know that he enjoys touching you and sharing physical intimacy. If he has no problem touching you, and flirting with you and making lots of feel-good eye contact, he’s almost definitely waiting for you to make the first move—which means a kiss!

Remember that these scenarios involve fairly confident men who want you to impress them. They’re not as common as guys who make the first move, but they DO come around sometimes.

What’s even less common, and actually more difficult to deal with, is a scenario in which the guy is SHY and afraid of making the first move. Unlike these 4 signs we listed, which involve reading the body language of confident men, we also need to consider signs that a man may actually be afraid of kissing you—and how to read his completely different set of body language. This will be the topic of a future article.

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Talk soon,

Matthew Coast

P.S. If you’ve been banging your head against the wall because you’ve fallen for a man who’s frustratingly unavailable…

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About The Author

Matthew Coast

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