10 Ways To Be A Classy Lady

What does “class” mean in today’s world? Is it a lifestyle? A way of carrying yourself or just experiencing the “finer things in life”? Is class moral and ethical behavior or is it just the appearance of femininity, seduction, and confidence?

Class is defined somewhat loosely by definition, suggesting qualities like excellence, decency in all one’s dealings, being a gracious winner, and being respectful of others.

It’s certainly easy to pretend to have class, whether by suggesting one’s wealth or social grace. Condescending to other people may be one way to elevate your “class” but it actually betrays the meaning of what classy is. Namely, to be a cut above those who are rude, tactless, mean-spirited and negative.

This is why it’s best to think of classy as distinct from “feminine” and “successful” qualities. You’re projecting different things with each word. Feminine behaviors attract men. The appearance of success attracts successful men. Classy behavior attracts men who respect you for standing out from the competition—someone they can learn to love because of your admirable qualities.

Here are 10 ways to enhance your “class” while still being yourself and keeping those feminine and successful projections as well.

1. Keep a high and strong posture.

This means keeping your back straight and shoulders back. This suggests not only attentiveness but respect. Slouching suggests laziness and a feeling of casual indifference. A good posture shows respect to others and for the occasion.

2. Keep good grooming habits.

This refers not only to sophisticated dress but also to subtle makeup, a soft and understated perfume, good hygiene and brushed or styled hair. While this may be a “basic step” in looking classy, it is one that is often neglected by girls who are all attitude but not a lot of class.

3. Wear a dress that accentuates your figure but still leaves plenty to the imagination.

When it comes to choosing the right dress, a classy woman dresses with modesty and elegance—in other words, a dignified appearance. The ideal dress is not too revealing because she doesn’t want to show him too much too soon. If she accentuates just one feature of her body, she limits it to one so as not to be too distracting from the event itself. She also takes pride in wearing wrinkle-free clothing, showing that she takes this event, no matter how small, just as seriously as the rest of her weekly schedule.

4. Use a refined vocabulary—no heavy swearing.

Is it really necessary to temper the potty mouth, especially in modern times? Oh sure, classy women may swear…but not in a public setting. They realize that the more they swear, the less impactful swearing might be in other instances, such as during sex or to express frustration and strong opinions. There’s a time and a place for everything and sometimes class is simply knowing when the timing is right to censor a thought or thoughtless word.

5. Practice your conversation and your voice—the pitch, power, and pace.

A woman who comes across as very quiet or very loud and obnoxious usually doesn’t give the impression of sophistication. An articulate speaker gets her message across by speaking at a comfortable volume, a proper (for occasion) tone of voice, and variation in the speed of words and sentences. This not only gives her charisma but also allows her to give a clear message free from errors and distractions.

Word whiskers like “umm” and “like, you know” and other slang terms can distract from the message. This is why it’s not enough to simply focus on improving your voice quality—but to actually speak in front of a mirror. Practice speaking at a comfortable volume and with variations in pitch and pace until it feels natural to you. You could even watch some footage of your favorite Hollywood ladies of yesteryear to observe their inflections.

6. Improve your vocabulary by reading more, as well as taking in more culture.

Reading books and news articles will improve your vocabulary and help reduce grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. A classy woman is well mannered because she knows the best words to use, which convey simplicity but also have a clear meaning. Sometimes it’s not the biggest words or longest sentences that matter but the power of contrasting syllables and how they influence the person listening to you.

7. Avoid gossiping and other “low” behavior.

It is often said that “smart people discuss ideas and not-so-smart people talk about other people.” While it may not be true in every single case, it’s hard to deny that discussing someone’s faults behind their back, or putting people down in general, is not classy behavior. Gossip usually travels fast and then comes back to haunt you, making YOU the center of attention for all the wrong reasons.

The best way to avoid this is to stop saying negative things about people, especially when you’re just meeting a new friend or guy crush. Treat ALL people with respect and avoid discussing those people of whom you have nothing kind to say.

Speaking publicly only of positive things makes you look better and it elevates the conversation. This is even known colloquially as “keeping it classy”. Avoid ranting and becoming overly emotional about other people since this shows you in a weak light. This means in person as well as through other channels such as social media.

8. Treat others as equals, regardless of status, social class, or personality type.

Another way to keep it classy is to be more attentive to the needs of other people, especially those who are infirm, young or unpopular. Choosing only “successful people” or beautiful people as your network of friends may be a business strategy, but when it comes to becoming classy and ladylike it paints you as a snob. Be polite to everyone and be welcoming to others so that they feel drawn to you.

9. Don’t make things difficult for guys—get rid of awkward tension by helping them feel comfortable.

Many women will actually stand awkwardly and very uncomfortable as a man stumbles over himself in bad conversation. Maybe it makes her feel powerful or gives her a good laugh. However, this counterproductive to making the man feel comfortable in your presence, and thus ready to entertain you.

Instead, try helping him out with conversation. Move awkward moments along quickly and get him talking. Smile when he tells a joke, even if it doesn’t come out right. Let him know with your body language “It’s okay…relax…and take your time talking to me.”

Women who intentionally try to put men at ease and feel free to say what’s on their mind are always popular with men! And it’s easy to see why.

10. Don’t back down from your opinions…just choose the right time and place to discuss controversial subjects.

Speaking with dignity means you avoid making a fool of yourself by choosing the wrong place, the wrong context, and the wrong way of saying something—even if everyone’s thinking it. This requires not only being patient and understanding but also being aware of the unique dynamic of a social group.

You may have a feeling that now is not the proper place to discuss a certain subject. That doesn’t mean you cower away from having your own opinions, or disagreements. It just means that the time to discuss it isn’t quite right.

It’s far better to express yourself with honesty at the right time and place, instead of blurting out a statement in the heat of the moment. You may also find it’s classier to dispose of a conversation and change the topic to something more positive, at least in a public setting.

Lastly, don’t ever tolerate being disrespected. If a man is being crude, sexist or bullying in your presence, don’t feel obligated to engage him or let his behavior slide. Leave him alone and start a more productive conversation with someone else.

As you can see, classy is not about putting up a front. It’s about becoming a better person all around. You can use your charms to elevate the conversation, and even other people. Help everyone around you become just a little bit better and let’s make the world a much more talkative place!

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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