How do you know if someone is a soulmate? Have you ever been in a relationship before where you thought, “You know I really do like him…but sometimes I’m not sure if he’s the one or not…”?
For some people, it’s a discussion of like vs. love. Or maybe infatuation vs. real falling in love.
But of course, some people want to give it a more mystical feel and say, “I like him but is he really my soulmate?”
And that’s where things get confusing. Because how do you know what a soul mate is? More importantly, should you really risk losing what you have now (which may be very good) to go out and look for a soul mate that is supposedly a perfect Prince Charming?
In this article, we’re going to discuss what the term soulmate really means and then we’re going to review 10 signs he’s your soulmate and why you should not break up with him if these criteria are true.
Let’s start by discussing what a soulmate means.
Is He My Soulmate or Something Else?
First, let’s discuss where the term soulmate came from. The meaning of “soulmate” comes from a number of different religions and faiths. Hindu, Buddhism, some forms of Judaism, and some other faiths, all have their own variation of a soulmate that we look for.
Broadly speaking, however, a soulmate is just one of several different people you meet in life who are connected to your “soul” in some sense.
For instance, there are soul teachers, who are there to teach us important lessons. This might be a teacher you care about, or maybe even an enemy or ex-lover that teaches you something unintentionally.
Soul companions, or kindred spirits, are more like friends that you just instantly click with. You feel connected and care about each other for much of your lifetime. You don’t have to explain everything to them – they get you. They understand you on a deeper level than most of your other friends.
Soulmates are not just friends, however. A soulmate is someone with very similar energy as you – in fact, it’s such a deep connection you are usually not just “friends” with this person. This person knows you too well, accepts you, and loves you too much to just stay an everyday friend.
Who can be a soulmate? Anyone could be, and it’s not necessarily that you are lovers. (But usually you are!) What matters is that this person is the most important partner in your life. Comparatively, no other friendship or romance with anyone else can compete.
Twin flames also complicate things, because a twin flame is similar to a soulmate. A twin flame is like a mirror that reflects back to you all of the qualities that you possess, the good, bad, and ugly. The twin flame does feel like a very intense love connection at first.
However, the main point of the twin flame is to help you transform into a new version of yourself. You work on yourself a lot, as this relationship progresses. Some twin flame romances can even be negative because of the intensive inner workings happening. But over time, both souls are helped to purge, grow, and evolve into something greater than they are. Twin flames are more like a test, but one you appreciate after the lesson is learned.
What Happens When You First Meet Your Soulmate?
Soulmates are definitely as volatile a relationships as your twin flame. Soulmates are like a peaceful breeze on a warm day. They are instantly receptive to you and feel comfortable and almost familiar – like you’ve known them in a past life!
You get along great as friends and when you’re both ready, you form an intimate and emotional bond together. You don’t really have to try that hard to make this friendship and romance to work. It all moves smoothly and naturally.
What Are Some Early Signs You’ve Met the One?
Let’s go ahead and discuss the most obvious #1 sign that you’ve met your soulmate. You may have already noticed that unlike twin flames…
1. A Soulmate Affects You in a Positive Way
Obviously when you have a lesson to learn or are “looking in a mirror” there’s bound to be some turmoil. But that’s not how a soulmate affects you. A soulmate makes you “glow.” He makes you feel comfortable, as if he’s the reward at the end of a long hard struggle with life and love.
You feel like a better person being with him!
That’s a huge sign because it’s so obvious and there’s no room for misinterpretation. No one ever describes a hot and cold, or violent relationship with their soulmate! If that’s what defines your relationship it sounds more like a twin flame or a soul teacher that you’re become entangled with.
The healthy and beneficial effect of a soulmate is what defines the relationship.
Soulmate Signs and Symptoms
So let’s move on to the part where we can recognize the 10 other signs or “symptoms” that you’ve met your soulmate. After we review the signs, we’ll talk a little bit about the big question on everyone’s mind: should you break up with a guy you like in order to “hold out” for a soulmate?
2. You have the same values and goals in life.
What makes the relationship peaceful and low-conflict? Probably the fact that you are both evenly matched in your ambitions, your core values, and your current and long-term goals. It’s hard for any relationship to work if both partners are constantly pushing in different directions.
Unity comes from two people that want the same things in life. There is no competition. There’s no pressure for one partner to acquiesce to the other, or constantly sacrifice their happiness to make the relationship work. There’s no need because you are both happy the way you are and you both understand what the other wants…because you feel the same!
3. You seem to fit each other’s lifestyles.
Not only do you have similar goals but the “logistics” are also evenly matched. You are both used to living the same lifestyle. You prefer to do things a certain way and with the comforts you’ve always requested. Well, isn’t it great that your partner also feels the same way and lives the same way?
One of the deal breakers in any romance is whether two partners can live together without “demanding” one adjust to their specific lifestyle.
A millionaire may want a life of travel, luxury, and many family outings. But someone in the working class might not want to travel, buy expensive things, or be forced to be so gregarious.
When you fit into each other’s lifestyle, you avoid conflict. It makes sense.
4. You both want to spend more time together.
Some relationships seem to “work” when both partners are so busy they hardly have to see each other. Or sometimes one partner frets trying to constantly entertain the other partner…and so avoids them altogether so there can *always* be positive associations.
I mean generally yeah, positive associations are good. But if you’re always “entertaining” someone, you’re not actually being your true self.
The cool thing about the soulmate is that you two are such a good fit, you don’t have to put on a facade. You don’t have to fear encountering him again. Just being yourself is all he wants and it’s what charms him the most.
You want to spend more time together and there’s nothing fake or exaggerated about your mutual attraction. When you spend time together, you are calm and feel comfortable.
5. There is a 50/50 balance, and both of you are independent.
When a relationship is imbalanced, it’s usually because one partner has become codependent. This will eventually cause conflict, because no team survives with just one dominant player. You have to be a team and operate as two fiercely independent halves.
When one partner does too much and the other partner does less, the dynamic will always be off and this creates resentment, doubt, and longing.
But when you meet your soulmate, you are in a better place in your life. That means you are more independent now than you’ve ever been. That also means you are more of a team player and have more life experience.
Soulmates usually don’t just pop into your life at random times. You grow first and then you project a different energy…and that’s when you find your soulmate.
6. He’s your best friend – not just a good looking guy.
The great thing about a soulmate is that you are so connected, and at such a similar place in your life, that even if the romance didn’t work out, you would still be best of friends! Whereas many relationships are characterized by intense love and angry conflict, that is not the case with a soulmate.
A soulmate understands you and so doesn’t have to fight you to get their way. A soulmate is your best friend, and someone that accepts you for the person you are now – not with any agenda or desire to change you. You fit each other just the way you are. In fact, you are so “in sync” that…
7. You always know what he’s thinking!
This is one of the most common “symptoms” of meeting a soulmate. Whereas it’s hard to discern your twin flame’s intentions at first, your soulmate doesn’t hide and doesn’t try to be too mysterious. Your soulmate gets you so well that he can anticipate how you feel – and what you’re thinking at any moment.
Your soulmate remembers important details and studies his favorite subject: you! More than that, he is just so in-sync with your lifestyle and what you tend to say and how you react to things.
Some call this connection a spiritual or psychic link. But others call it just good compatibility – knowing each other so well, you can read their mind and heart.
8. You both deeply respect each other.
One of the best things about finding a soulmate is how much you respect each other. There is not much room for conflict, because soulmates are a healthy match.
He doesn’t do anything that annoys you. You respect the man he is and don’t want to change him. He respects you and so treats you as an equal, not as someone he needs to father or mold.
When two partners respect each other it’s much easier to SUPPORT each other. You don’t just support him because he’s “the man” and its your job as a good wife. No, you respect him because he is intelligent, mature, and qualified to do the things he wants to do.
That’s true respect. You trust his instincts. You trust his knowledge and experience. You don’t have to pretend or take a leap of faith if you really know him.
9. You’re not blind to his faults.
Some relationships are defined by one partner’s idolized and warped view of the other partner’s perfection. They don’t see faults. They see an idealized version of this person (one that caters to them) that doesn’t even exist.
They see a perfect romance culminating with a happy ending. But you know what? They are blind to the person’s real faults!
They are in denial of these faults, which may be in plain sight. If he’s a chronic liar, she makes excuses for me. If he’s abusive, she blames herself. And so on…because if he has any “flaws” then he falls short of her perfect view of him.
That’s dangerous territory!
A soulmate does not deny a person’s flaws. He sees you for who you are and vice versa. He may understand your flaws, but he doesn’t pretend they don’t exist. He doesn’t put you on a pedestal and expect you to stay perfect.
He accepts you and he loves you, flaws and all. He knows it’s not his job to punish, or control, or teach you something. You’ve both moved beyond that stage. He supports you because he loves you.
10. There is a feeling of deja vu when you’re with him.
Finally, is there any truth to the idea that a soulmate just “knows” when he or she has found the other half?
Maybe. Some soulmates might tell you that not only did they just “know” upon meeting, but they also had a strange sense of deja vu.
As if you’ve known this person your whole life, and everything feels like it’s happened before.
Too good to be true? So evenly matched it’s scary? Or is it really remnants of a past life somewhere?
Who knows? What you FEEL, however, is a wonderful sense of calm and familiarity. And that’s all that matters.
How Do I Know He Is My Soulmate?
What does soulmate connection feel like? As we’ve discussed, all the effects are positive, natural, and beneficial for both of you.
Some relationships are built on neutral or negative emotions. Negative emotions might be a nervous feeling that comes from upsetting him or a fear of displeasing him. Neutral feelings might be a lingering doubt that you love him, or that you don’t feel passion for him.
On the contrary, when soulmates meet they feel nothing but positive emotions.
So if your relationship is always boring, or based mostly on avoiding his temper tantrums, you can rest assured you have not met your soulmate yet.
You should break up with the guy only IF…
- You would prefer someone with different qualities, a better match
- You don’t feel love or hardly even attraction to him
- He doesn’t bring out the best in you
I know it can be discouraging to wait for a soulmate. But remember, you’re not really waiting for fate, or for a storybook romance.
You are waiting until YOU have reached your fully evolved self – the one where you have learned lessons from the past and are now naturally self-confident. You project a different energy than the “old you” would have done.
That makes a big difference as to the men you attract. You are in control of your life now and you are NOT waiting on the fates to decide. You project the energy and you respond to the right person. That’s why soulmates are a real thing and why you are waiting for something better to come along.
If you have more questions about how do you tell if he’s my soulmate and other dating tips be sure to check out my programs!