Will Your Ex Forget About You During No Contact?

I remember having a conversation with a friend a few years ago and she said that she can’t imagine a woman doing “nothing” to win her man back. She even quoted me a song, “Tell him that you’re never gonna leave him, Tell him that you’re always gonna love him, Tell him, tell him, tell him, tell him right now!”

Love that song by the way! Anyway her point was, this is a go-out-there-and-get-them kind of world and if you wait, or stall, or do nothing, then you usually lose.

Life goes on without you and you miss out on the thing you want most.

The one that got away, right?

I’m explaining this because I really do see both sides. I don’t want to say dogmatically, you know, that this is the way it always is and you should never try it the opposite way!

Personally, if I KNEW that you could win your boyfriend or husband back I would tell you, “Go and tell him how you feel! Unburden your heart and scream your love to him, write a whole novel telling him how you feel.”

But here’s the problem…Nine out of ten times that approach doesn’t work. In taking that approach, you chase the guy away. And so I feel obligated to tell you, to warn you, that it probably won’t work. Nine of ten times it does NOT work. I think you ought to know the risk before you make the final call.

Maybe you’re thinking, “If I stay silent and “detox” from my ex (meaning no contact at all!) then maybe he’ll forget me!”

Is it possible for an ex to forget you? Is it possible for an ex to fall out of love with you, if you do take my advice and just cut him out of your life?

Let’s review three reasons why your ex will not forget you and probably not fall out of love with you either. I really do think time is on your side.

1. You are a part of his life, his memories, and his past happiness. He cannot forget a part of his life!

The idea of an ex forgetting you is impossible! All the more so if you spent years together and had really good memories during those happy years. He cannot forget that and he will think about it. Men do get existential from time to time and they think back to yesterday, comparing how happy they were to how happy they are now. They frequently think about their exes, what they’re doing, and why things didn’t work.

The simple truth is that he can’t forget you. But the more you insist that he think about you, beg him to come back to you, and guilt him into remembering all these things—the more he will resist! Detoxing from your ex, with this no contact rule, protects YOU from over-emotionalizing the issue.

But I promise you this…removing your emotions from this “game” going on with him, will only help you. You need show yourself confident, independent and NOT dependent on him. If you’re not emotional, he can’t say anything…he can’t criticize you. He’s forced to admit, yes, you are doing the right thing and handling the break up maturely and rationally.

2. He will compare you to any new date, lover or partner. You might be surprised at how miserably they fail compared to you!

I know that him dating someone else is your worst nightmare, but the truth is, that IF what you had together was real love, it’s not that easy to replace. Sure, he may go through a phase where he feels euphoria, or an “in love” feeling with someone else.

But does this woman really understand him the way you do? Does she tolerate his flaws like you do, does she really support him like you do? Does she love him as much as you do? You may be surprised, and HE may be surprised, to find out that, NO, she does NOT.

A good time is not a deep emotional connection. Even really good compatibility is not the same thing as real love—the love you two once had. And believe it or not, one kind of “love” is not always superior to another kind of “love.”

According to the latest studies, some 50% or more ex-couples eventually get back together. Even after breaking up, even after finding a “perfect” rebound partner. Why? Because they’re disappointed to discover that this loving relationship isn’t as good, or isn’t as intense, as the last relationship with you.

That’s why I suggest, wait the new relationship out. Your silence and complete detox from your ex will make him think back to all the things he liked about you. Put his subconscious mind to work and stop trying so hard to manipulate his conscious mind.

Usually, he will think back, and feel, and even grieve over you on his own.

If you let him miss you and if you stop interacting with hi.

3. The more he misses you, the more he focuses on the positives.

It’s just human nature to love something more when we don’t have it. Same principle with your ex, because the longer he misses you, the more he will think of all the good memories, your good qualities, and the stuff he liked about you (and that his new girlfriend might not even have).

He may even start to miss your voice, your old habits, your scent, your thoughts, and so on. He will start to realize his entire life is different now because he no longer has you, and this will make him wake up and realize that if he still loves you, there’s not much time to win you back.

In conclusion, the only real dynamic here is whether you’re telling him to love you again, or allowing him to love you again.

I firmly believe that if you give him the independence he craves, and if it was real love to begin with, he will start to miss you. Telling him, manipulating him, forcing or guilting him, it’s just making him automatically resist you.

Give him the gift of missing you and let HIM figure out just what a great couple you were. Let HIM tell YOU that he misses you. Let him be the romantic guy who woos you back. Men are loyal, they’re hard workers, and they want to please. Give your guy a chance to win you back and DON’T make it too easy for him. You will be surprised at the results you see.

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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