Do men want feminine women?
Some people say that in our day and age, male and female roles are all mixed up.
Others say that “feminism is more important than femininity. Traditional male and female roles are just the remnants of old conservative beliefs.”
I can understand why some think that being feminine might feel threatening but I think the truth is more complicated than that.
First of all, femininity is a good thing and it has nothing to do with being subservient or an old fashioned housewife… although, there are plenty of women who WANT that and I think we should be accepting of those desires.
Femininity is about understanding the essence of womanhood and connecting with a man from the core of your primal essence.
Once you understand feminine behavior, and why it attracts men on an involuntary gut-level, you will be able to attract the attention you want from the right guy. You will also be able to repair the relationship you want, even if it’s with an ex.
Let’s discuss six points of what femininity is and why men crave it above anything else in a relationship…
1. Being feminine is about being a good receiver.
Flirting, being expressive and being enthusiastic–all of these qualities make you a good receiver. When men give you attention you accept it graciously. You enjoy the effort they put forth and reward them for it.
You respond with your words and welcoming body language. They work harder, they get more attention from you. They feel the attraction more and so the cycle goes on.
2. Being feminine is about living your best life, not settling for average.
One of the best ways to build natural confidence and to stop faking it with all that “I know I’m hot!” nonsense is to work on improving yourself and living the life you actually want. Many people suffer from low self-esteem and they want to pretend they’re perfect, which is why we have so many people running around with strong narcissistic traits these days.
Real confidence comes from actually living your best life… being good at who you are and creating the life that you want… Transforming your present life (which may feel less fulfilling than you’d like) into something amazing (you living your dreams!).
You will notice a big difference between strutting around like you’re a Kardashian and actually becoming a high-value woman who believes in herself and loves reaching new milestones every day.
That’s the kind of confidence men truly find irresistible.
3. Being feminine means understanding what men want. Men want something more than sex…they want to feel needed!
The best way to be feminine and attract attention from men is to learn how to make a man feel desired, wanted and needed. His masculinity, and how he thinks others perceive him, directly affects his confidence and happiness.
Rather than insult guys or mock guys, thinking they like the “challenge”, focus more on making them feel good about themselves.
Boost their ego and let them feel energized just talking to you. They will remember that for sure.
Remember… a man won’t remember everything that you say or that happens between you… but he will remember HOW YOU MAKE HIM FEEL.
4. Being feminine is to be interesting, to be intelligent. Be better than average and take pride in it.
I don’t know where the stereotype came that men despise smart women. It’s not true. In fact, every billionaire guy out there falls in love with someone “better than average.” That is, someone intelligent, someone successful and someone motivated by the desire to do good in the world and improve the quality of life for us all. Men are fascinated by women who think like that.
The problem may be that smart and successful women are sometimes not very feminine and push men away without realizing it. But if you can figure out how to come across as feminine, a man will notice.
In fact, he will be gaga over you in no time, now that he FEELS you when he’s around you.
Make it a point to talk about interesting things, important subjects that matter, and have fun with it. Being more feminine with a man does not mean waiting for him to direct the conversation and worshiping him every hour of the day.
Instead, if you want to be interesting to him, be interested in what he has to saying and have interesting things that you say.
More to the point, you value his opinions and his ideas. That’s what makes him feel masculine. That’s what makes him feel needed. That’s what real feminine essence is, the desire to interact with men and bring out the best in them.
Remember… whenever you get the chance, push him into his masculine and step into your feminine. This push into those roles creates a passionate dynamic between the two of you.
5. Being feminine means being independent. Enjoy your independence and encourage his. Have a life apart from each other.
Clingy and controlling women are a turn off because they are showing weakness – male weakness. Feminine behavior is partly characterized by a great desire to be independent and to encourage independence from your partner.
A woman who encourages a man to go out with his friends or attend another event alone (that she personally has no interest in) is showing trust in her man.
She encourages him to be happy and to do his own thing, just as she has an independent life apart from him. A relationship must be built on mutual trust.
But what if the man uses this opportunity to cheat? Look for patterns… ask questions… make sure you find out how his previous relationships ended… ask him if he’s ever cheated before.
People live in patterns. And whatever patterns he has will end up coming out in your relationship too. If he has a pattern of being faithful, he’ll be faithful.
6. Being feminine means having a healthy view of your body and sexuality.
Some women may be confused about how to be “femininely” sexual, that is, to be desirable without coming across as too aggressive. Maintain a healthy self-image. Your body is beautiful. Be with a man who appreciates your body.
If you don’t like something about your body, or your sense of fashion, then make an effort to change your lifestyle. Change your perception of yourself. Confidence must come from within.
It changes your entire outlook. Feeling sexy attracts men because you project that energy.
And if you want to flirt in a feminine way, then focus on FEELING sexy rather than just looking sexy. Giving yourself permission to be flirty, and later sexual, will attract a man and encourage him to make the first moves.
Remember, being feminine is not a throwback to the old days when women had no choices in their lives. It’s about focusing on your own self-improvement, becoming the woman you want to be, and lastly, understanding what men want.
The deadly mistake women make that drives good men away…
Have you heard about The Heartbreak Treadmill?
This is the mistake that women make that make good men lose interest and feel like they want to pull away and disappear on you.
You can learn more about it here…
There are 4 things that you can do to get on The Heartbreak Treadmill…
This makes you feel like you’re giving everything to a man or a relationship.
And if you’re like most women, all you’ll receive for it is…
Being taken for granted…
Treated like an option…
And put as a secondary priority in a man’s life…
And I don’t want that for you.
Talk soon,
Matthew Coast
P.S. If you want to make sure you stay off The Heartbreak Treadmill and instead have your man pursue you for a committed relationship, click the link below…
Just curious… how do you “push him into his masculine?” I’ve been working on and understand how to step into my feminine, be confident, indepenent and still be feminine, but is that enough to push him into his masculine?
Question please: my ex was extremely! Clingy with me, wanting to spend 24/7 with me, was he being feminine? WAs I not making him feel needed or giving him enough attention because I was independent? I’m confused. Was I being “masculine? “. Trying to understand, thanks. I did encourage him to spend time with his guy friends who he drifted apart from . Thanks
I believe the clingyness is a sign that he is very codependent (NOT good). And is also a sign of major insecurity issues and distrust towards you. Once again, NOT GOOD……. and definitely not a healthy relationship. You’ve done nothing wrong, on the contrary, you gave him trust in encouraging his independence to have a healthy social life. Your independence may have also been an intimidation to him……your beat the stigma of women having to rely on men and some men don’t know how to take that.
You keep being you, be patient, and in due time the right guy will come along to appreciate you for who you are and for how you are.
I can definitely relate to this same thing happened to me with my marriage ! My first at that he wanted to know my every move also he always blew up my phone wanting to know we’re I was & whom I was with which was with my cousin ‘s & a couple of friends. I couldn’t even go to the restroom. Which ended up marrying him had (3) children after that it got so bad he thought he ruled my every move , even got jelious of our children. That’s when I told him to kick rocks even after catching him in our bed with my best friend. Now I’ve been chatting this guy own internet going own a lil over (3) years but am so confused of his behavior
Irregardless of gender, clingy people should be a huge huge red flag.
Do not ever project inwards that “YOU” have not done enough to make another person feel needed or give them enough attention.
I have found that the direct approach works for me, I tell men, that I like my own space. That there are times that I need to go the an art exhibition, cinema and even lunch on my own, but I am committed and faithful to our connection. Secure men are comfortable with this aspect of my personality and a few were not. And interestingly, one who wasn’t actually comfortable with me not clinging to him found and married a very controlling and domineering (as per his family) woman. Last I knew he was happy – good for him, but it took me many years later, a wee bit of maturity and the time understand my own needs to recognize that I found his need to be clingy and a tendency to be indecisive a huge turnoff on a subconscious level. At the time, I was just relived we were no longer dating.
I do not want to control my partner nor be controlled by him. Unless, maybe its the bedroom. Ha!
So, be yourself, confident, independent, yet receiving and making him feel needed. Have YOU ever tried to pull this “perfection” act off? Be yourself and make him feel wanted sounds a lot more doable to me. Most of us, make or female and regardless of any other personality traits, want to be wanted!
Good
So I’ve got the feminine part down and I think I’m doing good on encouraging him and boosting his ego without being clingy, but what are some good interesting conversations I can start to get his attention? I’d like some ideas on what some of you all have tried. This guy is an army veteran. I really know nothing about the ins and outs of the military but would I respect it nontheless.
Charlotte, Quick advice. As I know you must know your man’s branch of the military, do some research. It will show him your interested in him. Plus ask him to tell you about his military experience. Additionally, some times conversations just flow go with it. There is a very famous list of questions called the ’36 Questions that Lead to Love’ from the NY times. Finally, there are tons and tons of sites that offer starter questions or prompts to ask on date or to ask in a new relationship. Or hint…hint… This site.
Here’s a link. https://commitmentconnection.com/what-to-talk-about-on-a-date-with-a-guy/
Pick a few that you like and throw them out casually, but not in an obvious way.;) Good Luck and May Love find you.