When to Give Up Trying to Get Your Ex Back

Is this a trick question? Isn’t the whole point of learning “how to get your ex back” to WIN your ex back and to stop at nothing until you do? Isn’t the next strategy to seduce him, brainwash him and keep him under your thumb for the rest of your life?

Well that’s certainly what some women have thought before!

Think about that one girl who tried it, who would “do anything and everything” necessary to win her ex back. Was it worth it? Did SHE think it was worth it?

I’ll bet you I know what her answer is too.

“It was worth it…UNTIL HE LEFT.”

That’s the problem. That’s the ultimate issue here. It doesn’t matter whether I teach you seduction, brainwashing, or the ultimate Machiavellian manipulation.

Because eventually this man will wise up and he will realize what the girl is doing to him and HE WILL LEAVE. And once he realizes that this girl is so desperate to keep him, to hold him hostage in a relationship he doesn’t want, he will end it permanently.

That’s the part that sucks, that’s the part that really hurts. And that’s why I would never tell anyone to “manipulate” their way into a relationship.

Because (A) it’s kind of a mean thing to do to someone, forcing someone who really doesn’t like you and has rejected you to love you; and (B) no matter how brilliant the strategy is, if you manipulate him to stay against his will, he will eventually leave you and yes, he will hold a grudge.

Here’s the thing though. You don’t have to GIVE UP on getting him back. You just have to stop approaching this scenario with the “I MUST HAVE HIM!” mindset. That’s the part we need to change. Because if he gets any sense of that, he will rebel against you.

So let’s focus on this new agenda. Stop trying to manipulate him into coming back.

Instead, try to ATTRACT him into coming back to you, because he enjoys it.

Focus on being a better person, someone who’s enjoying life and someone that HE would fantasize about being with.

Now that said, I do believe that at some point, you have to know when to walk away. There is a breaking point, where it will actually benefit you MORE to walk away and “give up” than it will to keep trying.

Let’s not leave things to chance. Don’t guess or play it by ear. Let’s talk about this “breaking point” in the relationship and how you finally know that it’s time to walk away. After we review this list, we’ll leave you with one more happy thought, just in case the idea of never being with your ex again is too crushing.

4 Signs That It’s Time to Give Up!

1. He is in a good and loving relationship with another woman.

I know, this one really hurts! It really burns when finds love with someone else. But this really makes you think of the expression, “If you love something you have to let it go.”

It takes great courage and sacrifice to do a selfless act for someone else. It hurts you to say goodbye but you LET HIM GO, so that he can find happiness.

Because let’s be honest, if the situation were reversed, you would want your ex, if you didn’t love him anymore, to bow out gracefully and let you go be with the guy you really love. It’s really a sign of love and respect. It means putting someone else’s pleasure over your own.

The fact of the matter is, that if he has found someone else, it IS time to walk away and let him explore this other relationship. If you interfere or try to seduce him or sabotage him, it only makes him despise you and love the other woman more so. Bow out gracefully and focus on rebuilding yourself during this difficult period of time.

2. He was physically or emotionally abusive.

I wish I could tell you that “Yes, he’s really sorry” and that he’s really going to change, but statistically speaking, it’s extremely rare that a man just stops being abusive. Usually

what happens is that an abusive personality learns your limits and then continually violate those limits, followed by a short and shallow apology. He either deceives you or he sets himself up for failure. Either way, he cannot stop abusing you because he refuses to get help, and because he learns this coping mechanism as a means to deal with stress.

You must separate from him to save the both of you. You must be strong and end it, letting him know that this is no longer a respectful and equal relationship. The more you tolerate his abuse, the less he learns to respect you.

3. He left you. He ghosted you. He left and never called again.

This is possibly the worst way to dump a person and borderline abusive behavior if you ask me. Ghosting is considered very bad dating behavior period, not to mention a terrible way to end an adult relationship with someone you respect.

If a man ghosts you, meaning he leaves and never bothers explaining, he has made a strong statement. He doesn’t care about your feelings. He doesn’t care what happens to you. He doesn’t respect you and his happiness is WAY more important than yours.

Even if you could forgive a fellow for this narcissistic behavior, there’s really no guarantee that he might not ghost you again. He has exhibited cowardly and negligent behavior and that’s a major flaw that can’t be cured with just a few conversations.

4. You both have “deal breakers” in the relationship and you “don’t know what to do.”

Hint: You break up. Sure, it may take a while. Maybe years. You don’t want to break up and you stall, for months, even years, hoping a miracle saves you and keeps your love on life support. There’s just one problem. There are “deal breakers” in the relationship and you and your partner cannot simply stop being the way you are.

You may be exact opposites and so you will always clash. Your fights will always feel like a train wreck because you have two different sets of “values”, too polar opposite personalities.

And guess what? The sex is sometimes really good. The cuddling, the sharing even the LOVE is really good. But as long as these “deal breaker” differences are there, and of course neither of you can compromise (because of your ethics, or just the very nature of who you are), things are never going to get better.

Now I know this list may seem like an exercise in depression. But I do have some good news for you. Like I said in the beginning, the decision to WALK AWAY and give up is not necessarily the END. Certainly not the end for you. And believe it or not, not always the end of this relationship.

3 ways to tell if he secretly wants you back

If you’ve ever wanted to truly know if your ex
secretly wants you back, I highly recommend you
watch this video right away:

==> 3 ways to tell if he secretly wants you back

If you still love your ex, and you don’t do
something about it soon, then sooner or later
he’ll meet someone else.

Maybe he already has met someone else, but does
he really love her?

To see if he’d ever have you back, watch the video
below:

==> Go here to watch the video

Did you know that sometimes breakups are like
broken bones?… In that when they heal, they are
stronger than before.

I’m not saying all people should get back with
their ex’s, that’s for you to evaluate, but if you
do want them back, then this is your chance to
tell if you’ve got a chance:

==> Video: 3 ways to tell if you can win him back

Enjoy and have a great day!

Matthew Coast

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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