When Sex Gets BORING Do THIS

One common complaint we see today, especially online, is that “my partner doesn’t want to have sex with me.” And in some cases, the problem is so bad marriages have ended because of it.

Now there are some people who believe that sex is a basic human need and if your partner is depriving you of sexual fulfillment, that’s a great reason to divorce and move on. And hey, when you’re feeling thirsty for months on end, you DO get emotional. Whether male or female, you do feel the lack of intimacy and lack of passion.

But just because sex stops, or becomes routine, or is disappointing for whatever reason, does not mean that the marriage or the live-in relationship has to end. If you still have love for each other and respect for the person you’re with, you can rejuvenate your sex life. You can repair the damage that’s been done, whether it’s him that’s checked out or you.

You can get that intimacy and passion back if you’re willing to fight for the beautiful relationship that you’ve built and invested time in. Now when I say “fight” understand that it means to “put forth effort.” You don’t always feel like putting forth the effort. But that’s why you FIGHT to save something that’s valuable. You put up a fight for what you love and you don’t want to lose it…especially over something like sexual boredom which can be cured.

Let’s consider a five-step program to break this sexual starvation pattern, regardless of whose “fault” it is. Remember we don’t think about “fault” – just solutions.

1. Reverse your sexual patterns.

Usually we fall into sexual routines. Most likely, the man was the sexually adventurous partner, at least when you first met. But now, he seems disinterested. That’s why it might help to initiate sex more often. One of the main complaints of men about sexual problems is that they feel they always have to initiate it. If you start taking the lead and actually letting him know, “I want sex right now!” this sends a clear message about what you want and also reminds him that you’re a sexy, confident woman. He chased you before and he will chase you again. He just needs to be reminded of how much he wants you. Sometimes the best way to do that is to show a new side to yourself. As we often discuss here, sometimes a woman’s “first move” is very subtle and it doesn’t have to be overly aggressive. Do what feels natural…but be very clear in telling him what you desire.

2. Plan for a whole night of hardcore fun.

I know our instinct says that sex should be romantic and spontaneous, but realistically speaking, that only leads to more cases of dead bed, boredom and desire discrepancy. Why? Because something ALWAYS comes up. Something more important than sex, something that can’t be missed. Something that just seems more fun than sex, or more interesting on television. And sex will always take second priority to life unless you plan for it!

The best thing to do is to schedule in time for sex, not just an hour or two, but a whole night. Send the kids to a sitter or relative. Turn off your cell phones and reconnect, first as friends, then as lovers. Spontaneous sex has about 25 percent chance of happening because you’re leaving it up to chance. Scheduling a night for sex? One hundred percent chance because you will make time and follow through. This is precisely what busy parents need in this hectic day and age.

3. Talk about sex and do everything EXCEPT have intercourse.

The best way to slowly reheat your sex life that needs to thaw? Talk about everything and yes I mean everything. Talking about sex is a liberating feeling. Talking about forbidden fantasies is exciting. And just because you’re talking about it doesn’t mean this fantasy will ever happen in reality. The real joy is in reconnecting with each other and talking honestly and intimately like you used to do. When you do feel turned on, try foreplay and touching…but don’t have sex. Ban sexual intercourse at least for a few date nights. That way, you’ll spend more time exploring each other internally and externally all without the obligation of the same old, boring sexual routine.

4. Have sex in a new place.

We’re not actually saying have sex in a movie theater or anything too kinky—unless that’s your thing! But definitely make plans to have a romantic getaway just so you can have sex in a different setting, with new rules and a brand new experience. If you’ve been holding off from intercourse for a few weeks, celebrate your “return to form” by taking a weekend vacation. Try something new, something “taboo” that you discussed during your previous talks in bed. Dress up and flirt all night and build anticipation. By the time you actually do have sex after all that build up, you will both feel ecstatic!

5. Make your partner feel wanted.

I know, it’s the man’s job to make you feel wanted. That’s what we all hear and know to be true. But any relationship is a 50/50 project and that means that men also have to be reassured. Believe it or not your man wants to know that he’s still sexy, still handsome and still “alpha” enough to be wanted by you—and other women. Flatter him and give his ego the attention that it needs. Don’t just compliment him. Put effort into dressing up, flirting shamelessly and giving him an “extra special gift” that reminds him of the seductive spell he has over women.

Men love to feel wanted and they love knowing that you want sex just as much as they do. Fight to save your relationship, NOT by giving him what you think he wants, but by increasing communication and working together to create a better sex life for the both of you.

40 Flirty Texts That Men Absolutely Love

If you’re struggling to figure out what to say to your man to bring you closer together, I’ve put together a guide of 40 fun and flirty text messages that will spark a stronger and deeper desire in whatever man you use them with.

If you don’t know what to say to your man, use these “cut and paste” text messages from my free guide and watch how much he absolutely loves it!

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About The Author

Matthew Coast

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