What’s the Difference Between Men and Women When It Comes to Relationships?

This question becomes more difficult to answer as culture changes, society evolves and gender roles are frequently redefined.

In this age of millennial romance, complex sexual identities, and the very real clash of cultures (including feminism vs. neo-chauvinism) you may sometimes wonder what does the average man want?

Is there still such a thing as basic or even “primitive” needs that each partner wants?

I boldly say…Yes. Even though dating and identity is more complicated than ever before there are still some basic needs of men and women that must be fulfilled before attraction and romance can bloom.

Now I’m not going to get into the whole social construct vs. biology thing right now (although maybe I can direct you to a dating guide I wrote on the subject). Instead, I’m merely going to say that Yes, all men want something SPECIFIC in a woman, even though they are highly adaptable to individual differences.

The same is true of women. You want something specific in a man and you can tell he’s “the one” because he meets your basic criteria. Within seconds, perhaps, you can tell he meets most of these requirements and attraction is almost gut-level powerful.

The question is what are they?

What Men Really Want

I won’t go into detail about what women want because chances are you know the answer to that inside and out! You may not have specific requirements for a guy you’re interested in, but I’m guessing you know within SECONDS if a guy is your type or totally not your type.

But when it comes to understanding men it’s best to review some basic desires, preferences and dare I say, “prejudices” against certain personality types.

Men seem to chase the same recurring qualities in a woman, regardless of what career field she comes from, or in many cases even the background or lifestyle. This explains why sometimes rich men fall in love with middle class women or rich and famous women fall for “behind the scenes” type of guys. Lifestyle match is not nearly as important as the right inner qualities.

So what qualities do men look for? At first, men typically want:

• A woman who is career-focused, uniquely talented and confident in herself
• A woman who is beautiful peripherally and elegant in conversation
• A woman who is independent and knows her own value—she has no need to impress him
• A woman who’s mysterious, challenging and NOT easy to get
• A woman who is smart, creative and is indeed a successful person comparable to his own level of success

As the emotional connection is shared, other qualities become just as important like:

• The interest you take in his life, his hobbies, his career and his ambitions
• The level of trust and respect you have for him
• The deep emotional bonding that only you can provide, since you understand him in a special way no one else does
• Love and acceptance of your friends and family
• The ability to “read his mind” and know when he wants affection or when he wants time alone
• The natural ability you have to always grab his attention and make him chase you

What Differences Are There in Women?

Are there any major differences between what men want and what women want? Men tend to be more guarded in their communication styles, going from hot one minute to cold the next. They may be experiencing strong emotions and want to confide in a partner…but then, once they become too emotionally vulnerable they might want distance.

This explains why a man sometimes expects their wife to ask him if something is wrong but then back away if he doesn’t want to get in touch with his real feelings right now. Women tend to be more willing to talk about these subjects, expressing themselves and having that cathartic conversation.

Men tend to connect everything they feel to their masculinity and value as a man, husband and father. They are, in many ways, more emotionally unstable than women since they are more likely clam up and avoid talking about important issues in the relationship.

At the same time, men can be amazingly sensitive and become depressed, confused or even resentful if he feels his partner doesn’t notice him or how he’s feeling.

Do Both Men and Love Need Love the Same Way?

While it’s true that both men and women want to be deeply loved, there are significant differences in the ways they communicate these needs. Men tend to assume much and think they’re communicating more than they are. Women usually wish that men were more open in communication, rather than keeping so much bottled up inside.

A woman’s instincts might be to over-nurture or attempt to “fix” the problems of a man, particularly when it comes to saving a stressful relationship. But in doing so, she is neglectful of one of man’s primary motivations in love—

To chase. To pursue. To earn a woman’s attraction, interest and interaction. Men want to earn the attraction of women, as this confirms their interest and the “special unique” quality about this woman. The fact that she likes him, but “resists him”, creates a powerful dynamic that can persist long after sex and even marriage and family.

Are Both Partners Really Equal?

It might surprise you to know that true equality may not exist—but only in the fact that both men and women have equal claim to “drive” the relationship. Some men are very dominant and may go after a woman that lets him feel powerful. Some women want full control and may be attracted to a man that lets her take the lead.

Some partners are providers, others are nurturers and others and some are more sociable (and thus more outgoing) than their significant other.

In general, if a woman wants a man to feel strongly attracted to her, she must make him feel as if he is taking the lead—at least in terms of chasing her. This makes him feel in control, and so he works harder to “chase” and win her approval.

Now there are different dating styles among many different men, and it’s true that some are far more aggressive than others. Some men are completely secure with their masculinity and have no problem with a woman being a little more controlling in the relationship. But just as often, a man might find this behavior off-putting. The man might figure, HE wants to decide if he’s interested in a woman and the more she “tries so hard” to chase him, the less attraction he feels.

In the end, what matters is not male – female roles and who’s in control. What matters is that both partners feel respected, heard (in terms of communication with emotional connection) and appreciated by the other person.

There are personality differences here and there, sure, there always are differences and individual experiences that are not at all stereotypical.

But yes, it does seem that overwhelmingly, women who let their men feel the joy of chasing them report happier relationships. Men want to feel in control. They want to feel as if the attraction is their idea. And they want to work hard for what they earn because it fuels their masculinity.

The chase is good and it’s a dynamic in relationships that is very under-reported and often misunderstood.

Words That Turn a Regular Man Into Your Own Prince Charming

Today I want to give you some words that you can tell your man that will make him want to give you the relationship you’ve always dreamed he’d have with you…

These words form something I call a “Love Frame” that make a man feel like it’s his mission in life to treat you like a queen.

If you’re struggling to get your man to “step up” and give you the romance you’ve always wanted, you need to watch this video right now…

Click here to watch the video <<

These words will work on him even if…

…your man is pulling away from you or ignoring you completely…

…you think you got intimate with him too soon…

…or you feel like your situation is hopeless…

Because once you understand it…

You’ll be able to trigger a flood of emotion throughout his body that melts away all resistance…

Making him see you as the perfect woman for him…

A woman that he wants to pursue, fight for, and be with from now until the end of time…

Click here to learn the words that make him yours <<

Talk soon,

Matthew Coast

P.S. Try out these seemingly innocent yet strangely powerful words on the man in your life and seem how quickly things change with him…

Making him feel more love for you, more of a connection to you, and more of a desire to please you than he’s ever felt for anyone before in his life.

Click here to discover the words now <<

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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