Text My Husband THIS Tonight!

What should you text your husband? You might have read before (either on my blog or from another article somewhere) that texting your partner for errands, daily messages and work-related links is a terrible idea. Why?

Because over time, he will associate texts with negative or passive feelings. When your husband receives a text message nowadays, he’s usually thinking “What does she need?” or “What did I forget?” or “What does she want me to do or see?”

The problem is that he no longer associates text messages with ROMANCE, PASSION, FLIRTING and FUN!

That’s what needs to change. What if you made a new rule that says no texting unless it’s a date. Each text message you send to each other has to fall under the category of sexy, funny, romantic, interesting or personal favorite. Now, whenever he sees a new text from you, he will start to look forward to it, knowing it’s something positive. A conversation he’s choosing to have because it’s interesting – not an errand to run, not something to acknowledge from “the wife.”

If you need to convey passive information to him then use the phone. Call him and tell him what you need to say…but keep the texting sacred. Keep texting as your way of dating, your way of flirting and talking to each other a few times a week.

Let’s then consider nine steps on how to reignite your love life using text messaging.

1. Agree that from now on, texting is dating. No more errands or un-fun messages.

Don’t try to surprise him with this new change. It’ll just confuse him! Instead, explain that you miss the way you both you used to chat and flirt. You want to start that up again by keeping texting fun and having more date-like conversations.

2. Take the lead in texting for fun.

Start the conversation but do it naturally. There’s no need to be theatrical, overly romantic or hypersexual. Start slow by having a fun conversation. Something you might have told him in person, but instead decided to text him.

3. Talk about something you know he has an interest in.

Don’t be boring. Don’t chat only about your own interests. Treat this like a real date and talk about something you know he enjoys. Share some interesting news or discuss a topic you know he has a strong opinion about. Let him get involved in the conversation.

4. Keep your text conversations private and discreet.

Treat your texts as if they’re an illicit affair…your dirty secret! Don’t bring them up around the dinner table or before bed. Let your partner look forward to the texts. That way he will understand that this is a game you’re playing and you can discuss anything he wants to talk about – with no mention of it in the “real world.” He will start to realize the magic of dating again and have more fun with these conversations. For instance…

5. Help him fantasize and be textually adventurous.

If your love life has slowed down lately, reinvigorate the passion through some kinky texting. After you establish comfort by having regular text chats, reintroduce some kink by exchanging fantasies. Don’t be “polite”. Don’t tell each other what you think the other one wants to hear. Have some fun with it. Text chat about things you would be embarrassed to discuss face to face. Be daring and bold. It’s your little secret.

6. Talk about great things you still remember.

Just because you have eyes towards the future doesn’t mean you can’t reminisce about the past. Text chat about your best memories together. Text chat about funny things you remember, romantic memories, great honeymoons, amazing sex you’ve had, or even just thoughts you had when you first met.

You can also text chat about the best memories you had before you got together. Talk about positive things from the past that make you feel good. Talk about your top 10 achievements before and after marriage. It’s fun to remember, isn’t it?

7. Don’t forget to bring in the laughs.

Sure, sometimes conversations are hard to come by, especially if you’ve been brainy the last few days. Try something new by sharing a funny meme, a joke, or something else. Steal jokes you’ve heard other people tell. Share cartoons or hilarious articles. Give your husband something to giggle about.

8. Share some interesting links, pictures or music.

Talk about anything interesting that merits a response. Thoughts on new movies or TV shows coming out? New music or new books? All you have to do is share the thought (or a link or an image) and from there you can expand the conversation. It might be a short comment or who knows, maybe he’ll start typing five paragraphs worth of thought!

9. Finally, bring in the romance!

Now that you’ve rekindled the flame through sexy chat, fun chat and normal dating chat, introduce your most personal and romantic thought. Having trouble thinking of stuff to say besides “You’re soooo good looking?” Remember that men LOVE to feel appreciated. Focus on what your husband does for you. What he is, what qualities make him unique. Now describe in more detail why he makes you feel loved and why you have chosen only him.

If you follow this formula, you can start having fun again as a couple, just the way you used to do back when you were dating. He will start to smile more, want more passion, and start to see you as his best friend, not just his wife.

This is not just a fun exercise to try because you’re bored…this is a legitimate way of bonding together, talking things out, and staying honest and communicative. The best way to keep your relationship strong is by chatting on a regular basis. If face to face requires a lot of mundane conversation, then keep the magic alive by keeping texting a fun conversation – a silly one, something you can look forward to each day.

Don’t take intimacy for granted. Keep feeling it every day and communicating those feelings of trust with the man you love most.

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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