Sometimes it seems like men and women really don’t understand dating communication at all!
I mean there are some men who think being “alpha” and pushy and aggressive is all that’s necessary to get a date. And guess what? A lot of women don’t like that.
There are some women that play hard to get to an absurd degree. And yet they don’t understand why men are so intimidated by them.
There are also shy people who are so afraid of coming off as “sexual” or “clingy” that they resist showing ANY attraction at all. In fact, they’re so afraid of tension that they hide behind a stoic, overly formal facade. And yet deep down, they’re frustrated because they can’t seem to attract the partner they want.
Yeah…romance is confusing sometimes. But we’ve got it a lot better than the animal kingdom. For example, black widow spider…female kills the male, right? At least a man’s sexual desire isn’t so insatiable that he thinks it’s worth getting killed for!
Funny thing though, the idea that all black widow spiders kill their mates is not entirely true. Turns out in some species of black widow spiders, the male spider is spared and may even live in the female’s web for a while. Then again, in other spider species the male eats the female.
Complicated, huh? Well maybe the same is true of all relationships, human or not. Sex, romance and mating is complicated and there are no “universal” answers. It’s NOT all “just be this” or “say this” and you’ll get the man of your dreams. That’s selling an idea, not actually approaching dating from a realistic and logical perspective.
In the real world, yes, people are shy. And even more to the point, there are MANY instances in which your signals and his signals are being totally missed. Yes, isn’t that surprising to know? That guy, your crush, the one you thought you blew it with and totally embarrassed yourself in front of, that guy…probably has no idea you like him!
We are so wrapped up inside our own thoughts we oftentimes forget to communicate with each other like normal human beings.
So let’s go beyond the whole “Just ask him out!” strategy, because a lot of people, both men and women, just don’t like the direct approach. They want more unconscious communication first. They want more flirting, more obvious signals that there could be an attraction.
The neat thing is, if you’re paying very close attention, you can actually sense when a guy likes you. And he can also sense when you like him. These signs of attraction between two people are physical, subtle, and yet you can learn to spot them. Observing these unconscious signals may give you a clue as to how a guy really feels about you, even if he’s being extra polite.
In addition, you may actually discover that you give off unconscious signals when you like a guy – letting him know that it’s okay to pursue you. Let’s take three of the most telling signs that he likes you and that you like him.
1. Smiles, giggles and happiness!
Most guys “go giddy” in your presence if they like you, meaning they tend to smile a lot, try to make you laugh, keep you talking and giggle at silly things. You can see the gleam in their eyes. Guys who aren’t at all attracted to you don’t have it. Guys that are very attracted to you but feeling nervous are trying their best to appear confident. When in doubt just notice his eyes and smile. This is usually the giveaway.
If you like him, you also tend to smile and giggle, and speak in a higher pitched voice. You are unconsciously (or sometimes consciously) giving him permission to keep flirting, keep talking and “keep chasing you”. If you didn’t like him, or felt threatened, you would instantly stop this behavior. You would stop smiling, speak in a lower tone of voice and avoid giving him any friendly response. This ceases the contact.
So if you notice that the guy you like seems to avoid escalating sexual tension, ask yourself if it’s possible you haven’t given him enough “positive” response. Maybe looking him in the eye, smiling and giggling or smiling a bit more would send him a stronger signal!
2. Paying very close attention…in fact, you’re both oblivious to everything else going on!
Humans have a one-track mind when it comes to sexual tension. Men will not care or even notice much happening around him if he’s fixating on a woman. He will look at, glance at her, stare at her, and perhaps look away for a moment only to zoom right back to her. If a man feels awkward, probably because of sexual tension, he will talk more and engage her in conversation. In other words, he “tries”, he puts forth an effort to please her. He remembers things you say and inquires about your life, your interests and your daily routine. He may even spend time learning about something that you spoke about, just to have a good conversation with you.
It’s pretty obvious that a man who doesn’t like you (or who has friend-zoned you) will come across as aloof or even selfish by comparison.
Now in contrast, a woman who feels attraction to a man will find a way to show it, even if it’s subtle. She will maintain strong eye contact with him and give him louder and more obvious cues that she wants him to continue.
When two people are into each other they are drawn to each other. They avoid others and draw closer together, continuing their conversation for minutes or even hours if possible.
In contrast, a woman who’s not interested in a guy won’t engage him and may even choose to remain silent rather than force a boring conversation. There is such a thing as “comfortable silence” but most women who are interested in a man will keep the dialog going. Even if silence were a good thing, it’s all about eye contact. So if you notice your crush NOT responding or showing any interest, try to gaze into his eyes and see if he looks back.
3. Preening and welcoming gestures.
Body language can be difficult to interpret unless you actually study “clusters” of human behavior. While not all gestures have to mean positive or negative feelings, “clusters” or repetition of these gestures usually means there’s a strong feeling.
Welcoming gestures such as open arms, open legs, leaning in closer, incidental touching (like on the shoulder or arm) are very the first gestures you notice. As flirting continues, we become more self-conscious and this is why we “preen” or groom ourselves to look more attractive. This could be anything from playing with your hair or even slightly blushing in the presence of a man you like.
Men also “preen” but while you try to be more feminine, they try to look more powerful. Men assume a stronger posture, their breathing gets faster and their blood flow actually increases – giving him a boost of energy. This may manifest itself in nervous behavior OR in a sudden boost in charisma and wit.
Even something as subtle as biting one’s lip can be a giveaway as to the romantic “stress” a person is feeling in that moment. The key to recognizing sexual tension and attraction is to notice the little things and consider “strings” of behavior, rather than just one lone gesture.
For example, if a guy looks you in the eye and smiles that’s a good sign. But afterwards, does he ignore you and stay silent when he’s on his phone? A string or cluster of positive gestures would be eye contact, smiling, continuing to engage you in conversation, touching your shoulder and making you laugh.
The pattern of attraction is what gives it away and what starts the romance between two people. Positive body language should lead to a positive reception, as if you’re “welcoming him” to keep flirting. Encourage a man to chase you and he will! Sometimes he just needs a little extra “go ahead” to do his best work.
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5 word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…
