Have you ever experienced this? You see your ex-boyfriend one day. You’re either with a new guy or you talk about a new guy in your life. You halfway expect your ex to say something, do something…react in some way!
But he doesn’t! No apology, no bittersweet moment. In fact, he seems totally oblivious. You have to wonder to yourself, “Is he jealous and just hiding it?” Or is it possible he really doesn’t care – and if that’s the case, how can he be so cold? How can someone who used to love you just turn that switch off and stop caring about you altogether?
Well first of all, what’s happening is probably one of four scenarios.
- He is hiding his jealousy (most probable)
- He really doesn’t care (unlikely)
- He has other things on his mind (possible)
- He might be “under reacting” so that he doesn’t upset you
Unfortunately, the most common reason here is #1…of course he’s jealous! He has very ambivalent emotions about you moving on, but he’s trying hard not to show those feelings of jealousy. If he does, then he gives you the upper hand. He shows “Weakness”, he reveals that he still loves you.
So that’s actually a pretty good scenario and better than #2 (which is fairly uncommon, because what guy really goes from being totally in love to not caring at all?). Option #3 is actually not too bad either. Option #4 is not a great scenario, since it implies he really is over you but doesn’t want to give you false hope.
What I thought I’d do then is list some signs that shows he’s HIDING his jealousy. Believe it or not, guys are usually not subtle. Even if they think they’re doing a great job of acting like they’re not jealous, they are! And you can tell if you pay closer attention to his body language and the words he uses.
Of course, these signs are sometimes hard to notice, especially if he’s got a poker face. The same signs are also noticeable in an ex AND in a current boyfriend. So even if you’re in a committed relationship, you can tell if he’s jealous about a platonic friend.
So let’s talk about these subtle signs of jealousy…
- His energy changes when you mention dating someone else.
He will try his best to pretend like he doesn’t care but if that were the case, he would be HAPPY for you. The fact that he DOES care and can’t help but show his disappointment is telling. If the news bothers him, look for signs of grumpiness, distance, a cold disposition, or perhaps an extremely happy (and fake!) smile. Sometimes guys flinch or flare their nostrils if they’re angry. He might become angry or more tough or “macho” so to speak, and not want to talk at all. If he fails to show any emotion, he’s trying to poker face his way through the blow.
The truth is, the only genuine response a man would give if he’s not upset about you moving on is a look of interest. He’s relieved that you’re moving on and finding happiness with someone else. He smiles, he keeps eye contact, he nods…you get the idea. The more subdued he is, the more he’s struggling with jealousy.
- He’s not only nice about it…he’s way too nice!
Jealousy can also go the other extreme. Instead of your ex showing hostility or distance, he may become overly friendly and almost suspiciously happy for you. So happy in fact, that he suddenly gets involved in your life again, offering to help or listen. What he actually wants is to get your attention back and get you back on his side. Being threatened by someone else makes him “up his game” so to speak and actually trying – because he thinks he might lose you.
- He is very uncomfortable with the idea of you doing things without him.
Whether he’s your current boyfriend or an ex, if he knows you’re going out with someone else, he will be freaking out inside! This will cause him to behave more possessively of you, or maybe just make him nervous. He might ask someone else about what you did on that date or stalk you online, or any number of weird behaviors.
In fact if you’re still in a relationship, and he’s extremely jealous, don’t be surprised if he “shows up” out of the blue without notice, wanting to catch you in the act of chatting with someone else.
Even if you’ve already broken up, it’s fairly common for ex-boyfriends to just “pop in” to see how you’re doing.
The worst case scenario is that he starts becoming abusive or domineering, making it impossible for you to go out and do your own thing. Not all men will do this, but it is a common tactic among boys or men who haven’t learned to control their emotions.
- He flirts with other women…but usually only when you’re watching.
The fact that he flirts with other women, and lets you know about it, is most telling. He wants to prove to you that he has other options and that he could find another girlfriend just as quickly as you could find another boyfriend. It’s a childish game, especially considering that there’s nothing wrong with him having female friends. So why does he want to prove something? Why does he use this tactic to upset you?
- He wants to break up for good…or cut off all contact.
Well that’s the sign of desperation! This is usually a bluff but sometimes a man might be insecure enough to mean it. He can’t handle his jealousy and so wants to end things permanently.
The truth is, your ex will always struggle with the feelings he has for you, even if the relationship comes to an end. You were part of his life. Part of his memories. If the love was real, he will always have a place for you in his heart, even if he’s bitter and in denial.
Whether or not you remain friends, or even try to get back together someday, remains your choice. If you’re determined to win him back, read some of my other blogs on ways to get your ex to miss you.
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
Click here to watch the video now <<
My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5 word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
And how to attract the man you want…
Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…
No matter how painful things have been in your past…
You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…
Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…
