Is He Hiding His Feelings or Not Interested?

Some men are stoic. Others are shy. Some repress their feelings and hide their vulnerability behind jokes. Some act macho and some just barely talk at all!

There are many men out there who will NOT come out and say what they really think or feel. And in this case the sentence is so simple. “Hi, it’s me! I like you. Want to go out sometime?”

Yeah right, but that’s just the thing he’s NEVER going to say that! Even though he knows it’s true and you know it’s true. For some reason he’s not coming out and saying it. He may be playing weird mind games, or flirting with you, or maybe he’s just poker-faced.

One thing’s for sure…he’s making you crazy with this hot and cold behavior! How DO you know when a man is interested in you? How do you know when he’s NOT interested in you, but is just being polite by engaging you in conversation?

First Ask the Question WHY

First thing’s first. Why do men hide their feelings? You can’t assume all men are hiding for the same reason. Depending on the type of man he is, as well as his own unique personality, he may be holding back for a few different reasons.

Some men are shy and are afraid of being rejected. So these guys are going to wait until they get more encouragement from YOU, before pressing forward. Yes, it sucks because a lot of women prefer the man to be outgoing, confident and persuasive. But not every man is going to be so naturally charming.

A lot of men have problems deciphering signals and body language from women. While some men are shy and defensive, some men are just plain confused about flirting. In this case, he might still be evaluating whether there’s an attraction or not. Once again, in this case, he wants to see definite signals so he can follow his instincts.

On the other hand, some men might not be available for a relationship, either because they’re with someone else, or maybe they’re simply emotionally unavailable. It’s fairly common for a man to seek out sex partners who he doesn’t love, rather than risk getting romantically involved with someone he might care about.

He might even have a more neurotic reason for hiding his feelings. He may think it’s not manly to show interest or more to the point, show vulnerability. The stronger his feelings and attraction to you, the more he might actually back away. What are these guys waiting for? They really need (once again!) more encouragement coming from you, that it’s okay to discuss these feelings. Then again, he might not want any immediate confrontation.

With some guys, you just have to be patient and NOT try to pry feelings out of them. He could be testing you, or perhaps trying to grow on his own. If you can tell he’s not ready to talk about it, then don’t pressure him. Let him be, but give the occasional reminder that whenever he wants to talk about “anything”, you’re there for him.

Lastly, it’s very possible he friend-zoned you and is simply not escalating the sexual tension because there is none. It happens. And yes, it happens to women too.

How to Determine If He’s Interested

1. He always seems to find a reason to talk to you.

Simply put, guys who are interested in you (even if they do that weird holding back thing) will ALWAYS find a reason to talk to you. They will text you back, they will start text conversations. They will arrange time to meet with you, or sometimes just happen to run into you in person. He wants to be in your presence. The reason he keeps “tagging” you so to speak, is to just keep your interest while he figures out what he wants to do.

Men who aren’t into you won’t bother keeping appearances. They won’t reach out to you. They will only be there when it’s convenient for them or when it’s just a legitimate “accidental meeting.”

2. He remembers details…proof that he’s really listening!

You know how charmed and amazed you are when a man actually remembers things you said? Well that’s exactly why a guy will work a little harder just to remember something specific you said the last time you talked. If he’s seeking “extra credit” there’s a good reason! He likes you and is just trying to find the right time – and or grow some courage.

3. He is still trying to impress you.

Some men get nervous around women and it’s fairly easy to sense what they’re thinking. Other men get fidgety and give themselves away with very noticeable gestures and “grooming” body language. Some men are more confident in interactions…but they still have a tell. They’re working extra hard to impress you. They’re showing off their skills, bragging about their lives, and generally just talking your ear off about themselves.

In other words, they want you to see their high value. The guy who’s talking about himself or his hobby or his job, is wanting you to take an interest in him. Ask him some questions so you can send back a good signal.

4. He’s genuinely interested in you, your story and who you are.

Most men that are feeling amorous will only ask enough questions to get you excited and turned on. Then they quickly lose interest. A man who is romantically interested in you, however, will press for more important information. He will ask a few tough “interview” like questions. But he will also ask vague questions so he learns about your upbringing, your everyday life and your future goals.

In other words, he’s curious about you! He finds the sharing of information just as exciting as anything sexual.

Pay close attention to what he says and how he says it – the way he moves, the timber in his voice, and the way he looks at you. Many women can “sense” when a man is interested in them, because of unconscious gestures and a favorable body language. And as always, the harder he works for your attention, the more likely it is you are always on his mind.

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Talk soon,

Matthew Coast

P.S. If you’ve been banging your head against the wall because you’ve fallen for a man who’s frustratingly unavailable…

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About The Author

Matthew Coast

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