Is He Moving Too Slowly For You? Here’s Why Men Hold Back

Quotes About Overthinking

Believe it or not, sometimes the simple advice of “Just hush up and stop talking!” is not actually so mean-spirited.

When someone says this, especially if it’s coming from a friend, they usually mean it in the most respectful and helpful way possible. They’re not saying that you shouldn’t speak your mind, nor are they saying you shouldn’t “be yourself.”

The problem may be that you’re overthinking the situation. You’re lost inside your own head. You might even be overanalyzing the situation and emotionally responding to events without thinking things through. It’s very important to keep calm and in control in early dating.

He wants to see your confidence and feel your mystique, your feminine presence. If you get too nervous and start oversharing – or overthinking – then he might sense something is wrong. That’s when he backs away because something feels off. He doesn’t feel safe and there’s no reason to be curious since you’re telling him more than he asked.

But the answer is not JUST in not speaking. He does want to hear you speak and he desires to hear your deepest thoughts, when the time is right. What might help in the meantime is to stop overthinking the situation and instead focus on the joy of the moment. Enjoy the early courtship and stop fast-forwarding into a relationship that hasn’t started yet.

To emphasize the point, I’ve compiled a list of “overthinking quotes” that will pinpoint why overthinking is harmful and can negatively affect our dating conversation. Notice some patterns…

1. “All profound distraction opens certain doors. You have to allow yourself to be distracted when you are unable to concentrate.”-Julio Cortázar

Distraction is good! Whereas you might think distraction is a temporary fix for overthinking, it’s actually the most logical way to handle an obsessive mind. Distract yourself from the anxiety by doing something positive – the natural opposite to the negativity you’re hyper-focusing on. Trying not to worry so much about what to say on a date or to your crush is the first step of conquering that fear.

2. “You’re not going to die. Here’s the white-hot truth: if you go bankrupt, you’ll still be okay. If you lose the gig, the lover, the house, you’ll still be okay. If you sing off-key, get beat by the competition, have your heart shattered, get fired…it’s not going to kill you. Ask anyone who’s been through it.”-Danielle LaPorte

Life is going to be okay, regardless of the “worst case scenario” you have in your mind. We tend to catastrophize events and lose sleep over what could happen. But a more positive AND realistic way of looking at it, is to realize that you will survive whatever happens, even if it’s not a great outcome. You’ll be stronger and more interesting after the experience. So why worry?

3. “Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion. What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time — past and future — the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.” -Eckhart Tolle

Remember that true happiness (and real romance for that matter) is all about enjoying the moment. Worrying about the future does you no favors, nor does it impress a guy. Focusing on the joy of discovery, of spending time with him and improvising with whatever topic occurs naturally, is the real joy.

4. “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” -Oprah Winfrey

Practice being grateful to remind yourself of joy in life and in the beauty of connecting with someone for the first time. Be grateful not just for the present but for the past, the life you have been fortunate to live. This is a lifestyle that will prevent you from envying others. Your joy is what matters.

Don’t let the fear of the unknown, or of embarrassment, or even of death rob you of appreciation for life. Focusing on what you have and what you’re thankful for, helps you heal, it helps you avoid the anxieties of tomorrow, which only rob you of the joys of today.

Overthinking is something many of us do naturally. But just as with any other negative thought, we must push these stressful ideas away and make room for a more positive mindset.

Why do we overanalyze relationships in the first place? It’s usually because a person is afraid. They might unworthy, or have a fear of abandonment, or a fear of intimacy. They think that analyzing the situation and explaining their feelings is the answer, when it actually makes the situation worse.

The answer to avoiding these negative patterns of overthinking is to get outside of your head. Instead, focus on finding inner peace. Connect the things that make you happy and feel calm, like nature, or vacation, or beauty. Fall in love with the moment and focus on that.

Come up with positive thoughts and inspirations and remind yourself of these every day. Focus not just on positive thoughts but on senses – the images, sounds, tastes, scents and textures that make you happy.

Finally, make time to meditate on something that gives you peace and happiness. Meditation is the process of cleansing your mind and making time to be happy and at peace with yourself. Think positive thoughts consistently until you begin believing them, feeling them and projecting them to others in conversation. When you love yourself, you share that positive energy with others.

You might even say that overthinking is the side effect of NOT feeling and not meditating on self-love.

Maybe this sounds corny to you now, but just try it for a while. You might be surprised at how finding that inner peace WILL help you to calm down, appear more confident, and change the way you interact with people for the better.

The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life

There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…

It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…

But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…

It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…

And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…

Have you figured out what it is yet?

Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…

And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…

Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…

Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…

A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…

And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…

Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…

If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…

I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…

Click here to watch the video now <<

My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…

I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…

Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…

When you click the link this link right here <<

I show you what this 5 word phrase is…

I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…

And how to attract the man you want…

Into a relationship where you’re loved and adored and treated like a priority…

No matter how painful things have been in your past…

You can attract a great man and have a great relationship…

Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…

If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…

If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…

And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…

Click this link to watch my video right now <<

About The Author

Matthew Coast

What's stopping you from meeting Mr Right and having the relationship you want? Click here to take the quiz.

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