8 Signs Your Ex Boyfriend Wants You Back

The heart wants what it wants. Maybe the idea of ending a relationship seemed like a good idea at the time. But now, months later, you still miss him. You want him back. You might even be thinking irrational thoughts like “I’d do anything to get him back!” or “It’s all my fault…if only I had tried harder.” Or if only I had ______ (did that one thing that he always complained about).

Here’s the truth. Relationships end frequently because people change. People make mistakes. People figure out that what they once thought was happiness was not actually happiness.

So the best thing you can do is accept the truth. The old relationship is over and it’s gone forever. The dynamic was off. The relationship was uneven. Regardless of whose fault it was, the simple truth is that as you both were you were incompatible and it couldn’t go on that way forever.

Now here’s the silver lining. If you can accept the idea that the old relationship is gone, but a NEW relationship with the same partner might work again, then that’s something you can build. That’s something more productive and something that could actually work in time.

Here’s where it starts. After some time part (during which you DO NOT contact him at all) you can gauge his level of interest. It’s time to determine whether he’s missing you, desperately wants you back, or has little to no interest. Depending on how he feels, you can proceed to win him back by creating a new you, a new relationship and a brand new dynamic. Let’s consider some sure signs that he wants you back…or is even still desperately in love with you!

1. They stay connected on social media and or instant message you.

This is the first and most obvious sign. A man who’s still interested in you will want to keep in contact, even if it’s just as friends. Now it is true that some exes will ONLY reach out platonically and they won’t have any romantic feelings left. But if this is the case, he usually doesn’t send you several messages a week. He touches base every year or half a year. See the difference? Which brings us to the next point…

2. He is still very jealous.

Exes who are over you don’t have feelings of jealousy. If anything, this ex would feel relieved to know that you’re seeing someone else and aren’t still thinking about the past. But if he’s always inquiring about your dating life, or if he is always criticizing other men you’re dating, he might still be secretly in love with you. Jealousy is an emotion connected with love and commitment.

3. Your conversations are always deep.

If your ex still has feelings for you, then he still misses those deep and personal conversations that you used to have. He will try to have them again, hoping to start the bonding process and rekindle the love that once existed. In contrast, an ex who no longer loves you will not show much interest in having these personal discussions. He doesn’t want to date you and so has no interest in getting reacquainted.

4. They talk about the past.

This is definitely a sign of love – especially if he harps on mistakes he made, or how wonderful the way things you used to be between the two of you. He might frequently mention that he was happier before and imply that he’s unhappy now. Usually, when an ex wants to get back together with an old partner, the priority is building a NEW relationship with new rules and boundaries. When a partner actually wants the OLD relationship, that says a lot. He regrets ever leaving you and desperately wants what he left behind.

5. He makes small talk all the time.

Exes who are over you have no need of making small talk. A man who still loves you will desperately want your attention and find silly reasons to chat with you. He might even border on annoying at times. What he’s actually communicating is that he’s available for you, ready to talk and ready to listen.

6. He’s a little too eager to share news about his dating life.

Exes who are over you tend to be mature about this sort of thing. They don’t talk about it unless you ask. An ex who’s still in love with you will try to hurt you and try to make you jealous by bragging about his new girlfriend or by poking at your dating insecurities. If anything, he’s probably trying to convince himself that he’s over you when he’s clearly not.

7. He asks about you through other friends or acquaintances.

Pathetic and yet adorable, that he’s so in love with you he has to ask friends about you rather than just come to you directly. He wants to know about your love life, what you’re doing and whether you’ve moved on or not. He’s like a shy boy in class who still wants to keep an eye on you from a distance.

8. He actually takes responsibility for his role in the breakup.

If he does this, while also showing all these other positive signs, then that’s a major landmark moment. Many guys never actually reach this stage of maturity and acceptance. The fact that he knows he messed up, and more importantly understands that he must change if he wants to get back together, is a sure sign that he’s experienced a change of heart.

Now that you can determine how badly he wants you back, it’s time to determine what behavior he wants to see from you. What he perceives, and the new dynamic between you will define the future of this brand new relationship. Remember that you do NOT want the old relationship because that is gone and you know by now it would not last. However, by developing new rules you do have a real chance and starting over with the man you love.

About The Author

Matthew Coast

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