Anxiety is, unfortunately, not a choice for a lot of people. While everyone feels anxious from time to time, and while many do have the ability to “walk off” their anxiety with strong discipline, or a glass of wine, there are others who suffer from daily bouts of crippling anxiety. This kind of anxiety is not a choice.
In fact, psychiatrists have classified Generalized Anxiety Disorder as a chronic condition, one that is similar to panic disorder and OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). When someone struggles with anxiety, it’s NOT just that they’re worried about a pressing issue in their lives (like everyone else).
This extreme level of anxiety involves panic (an imminent feeling of death or like you can’t breathe), constant and aching worry, insomnia and restlessness, and difficulty in concentrating. In many cases, the anxiety is so severe, sufferers must find a habit to distract themselves from the feelings of panic. This can lead to ADHD-like symptoms, procrastination, and depression.
Many clinical cases of anxiety require professional psychological counseling or even psychiatric treatment, which may involve prescribing antidepressant drugs.
Perhaps most importantly, suffering from debilitating anxiety can affect your relationships with others. Sometimes socializing in groups, or even answering the phone or a text message, might be too much to handle. Not only will you feel overstimulated and exhausted from interacting with people, but sometimes feelings of fear and dread will come over you, restricting you from continuing your daily activities.
Whether you’re worried about catastrophic events taking place, or simply feel unexplainable and uncontrollable shivers, the anxiety is a life-changer. Sometimes you have no choice but to plan your life around the anxiety and try to find ways to manage these episodes.
Relating to other people, particularly men you want to date, can also be challenging. Consider five things that most people don’t realize you do because of anxiety and how it might negatively influence relationships.
1. You always imagine the worst-case scenario.
Being stuck in a permanent fight-or-flight mode, it’s common for you to anticipate the worst and most catastrophic situation in your future. Not only is this true in everyday life but even on dates, you are constantly focusing on how the date is going to go badly. Whereas most people would dismiss these as “jitters”, they really do feel like a disaster waiting to happen when you have anxiety.
2. You avoid people and isolate yourself – even if you don’t want to.
Perhaps that’s what many people don’t understand about anxiety. You don’t want to avoid people, but sometimes loneliness is preferable to feelings of panic. Socializing with others is exhausting. Even if you’re planning something you want to do, something you enjoy doing, panic attacks can still strike. The last thing you want is to upset your date or new friend, and so you figure you would rather stay home than risk all that stress. This makes it hard to meet new people and hard to maintain friendships with people you do like because they can’t understand why you’re avoiding them.
3. You hyper-focus on your mistakes and think everything that goes wrong is your fault.
Anxiety distorts the experiences you have, to the point where you might misinterpret neutral events as a personal rejection of you. The process starts when you begin overanalyzing conversations, wondering if you said something wrong. If another person hesitates to respond (such as a returned text message) this will only increase the anxiety you feel. You immediately determine something is wrong, or something terrible has happened, or that you’ve offended the other person. However, in 90 percent of these cases, the error is imagined or greatly exaggerated.
Worst of all, when you do mess up you distort the importance of the mistake, and judge yourself harshly for your “failure”. This leads to perpetual feelings of self-doubt and even self-loathing. You are a perfectionist in life and that’s great…but with that comes constant anxiety, the desire to avoid rejection or embarrassment.
4. Even if you’re not experiencing panic, you may frequently obsess over things that aren’t important.
Most of these obsessive thoughts wouldn’t cross anyone else’s mind, not even your date who experienced the same evening. But to you, you can’t stop thinking about it. The conversation replays in your head. Even very little or insignificant moments (like the look that someone had) stays with you.
5. You are always tired because you can’t seem to get a good night’s rest.
You have insomnia at night and you seem to wake up early before you’re properly rested. Your mind is overstimulated and worrying about things outside of your control. Your thoughts never seem to shut down. Instead, you worry about things from yesterday, new worries today, and think about future events that only add to the anxiety.
Obviously, because love and marriage is such a life-changing experience, it’s normal to have these fears when dating someone new. Even if you manage to live a low conflict life, the anxiety can be tremendous.
6. You compare yourself to others and realize you’re not happy.
It’s not that you’re jealous – you’re just feeling anxious about the life you wish you were living and unfairly comparing all of your accomplishments with everyone you know online. But such comparisons only bring you down and make you feel stressed, depressed, or anxious – as if you only have a few years left to accomplish your dreams.
This is all warped thinking, the product of an anxious mind trying to focus on the STRESS of achieving goals, rather than enjoying the actual process of doing what you love.
Over time, panic and anxiety disorders can get progressively worse and you might experience a mental breakdown, or perhaps the “feeling” of an impending breakdown that never quite comes.
While generalized anxiety disorder is best treated by a medical professional, understand that there are things you can do to manage the symptoms.
You can get rid of stressful activities as much as possible. Schedule time to relax, to meditate, and to surround yourself with positive visuals, sounds, and activities. Avoid negative people and negative stimuli around you. You might have to avoid caffeine or other food/drinks that add to those nervous feelings. Many nutritionists believe that your diet and exercise routine can directly affect the severity of the anxiety. Exercise and healthier eating, while not “curing” the condition, might be able to help you feel better day by day.
You might also consider decreasing your work hours every day and making more time for mental health and recovery.
Most importantly, DO NOT shut out someone who cares about you, even if that person is someone you just met. Don’t chase them away and don’t suppress these thoughts and feelings because you think you it will scare them. Instead, confide in them honestly, letting them know that you deal with anxiety. Explain how having anxiety does sometimes affect your relationships with others, but that your behavior does NOT mean that you’re uninterested, or unkind.
Being honest, and indeed, allowing yourself to be vulnerable, will help you to get to know your date. It will help you to open up to new people and make more friends. It won’t always be easy, but you will be able to manage symptoms of anxiety, and with some better communication, you will be able to enjoy intimate relationships and find happiness on your own terms.
The 5 Word Phrase That Destroys a Man’s Love For You And Drives Him Out Of Your Life
There’s a simple 5 word phrase that will destroy any man’s love for you and drive him out of your life completely…
It usually comes out as an honest question when you want to connect with him…
But only serves to push him away and slowly kill your relationship from the inside out…
It can take a man who is filled with love and passion for you…
And make him feel cold, distant, and uninterested…
Have you figured out what it is yet?
Many women send this as a text message when they’re feeling insecure…
And then are confused why he suddenly pulls away and disappears completely…
Most of the women who ask it don’t even know how harmful it is…
Yet it can take a relationship that seems like it’s perfect…
A relationship where you feel loved, cared for, and like you’ve finally found “the one”…
And overnight, it can tear that relationship apart…
Leaving you confused, frustrated, and heartbroken…
If you don’t know what this simple yet seemingly innocent question is…
I want you to stop what you’re doing and go watch this video presentation that I put together for you at the link below…
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My name is Matthew Coast and I’ve been teaching in the dating industry on since 2005…
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women, all over the world…
Get into relationships where they feel loved, seen, and cherished by the men they’re with…
When you click the link this link right here <<
I show you what this 5 word phrase is…
I’ll teach you about why men pull away, how to stop it from happening…
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No matter how painful things have been in your past…
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Just click the link on your screen and the watch the video right now…
If you’re struggling with men pulling away from you…
If you’re tired of giving everything to a relationship and only being taken for granted…
And if you’re ready to have a man see you as a woman that he wants to be with forever…
