How to Text Your Ex Back

Words are powerful. They can be used to seduce, to persuade, to injure and to inspire. If you really want to “persuade” someone to see your point of view then what you’re actually doing is making him feel an emotion. That’s what makes people take action, and in the case of breakups and romance, THAT’S what makes ex couples get back together.

You may still be in love with him but he needs to be reminded of his love for you. So the purpose in texting him and “winning him back” is not seduction and it’s not manipulation. It’s actually just getting him to feel what he already feels about you.

But it does involve getting him to ADJUST his perception of you. If you can get him to change the way he looks at you, and feels about you, he may well fall in love with you all over again.

Before we get ahead of ourselves and discuss falling in love with an ex, let’s just focus on how to text an ex and get him to start thinking of you in a new way. A new that makes you ATTRACTIVE to him, and NOT just like his “jealous ex.”

Instead of just mentioning some snappy texts, I’m going to discuss five different strategies in texting that will help you win your ex back over the long-run. Once you learn the strategy you can use more natural language and come up with your own brilliant texts.

1. Reestablish the friendship – NO negative emotions in texting.

The first step should always be to gauge how he feels about you and make sure to eliminate all negative emotions. Understand that if he still associates you with stress, (probably because of bad memories) you should apologize and give him the closure he needs to move on. He must let go of that negative emotion and that starts with you allowing him to move on – letting him know that you will be a nonjudgmental friend, just like the way you used to be before you became a couple.

You can send casual and fun texts like jokes, humorous stories, or merely asking him what’s new in his life. Remember to accept whatever he tells you and be happy for him, as would any other platonic friend. This is not only a way to reconnect, but also allows you to gauge how he feels about you. Does he need more time to cool down or is he feeling good about your platonic relationship?

2. Master the art of staying busy when texting.

This is perhaps the most important tip because it works very well with your other texting strategies. Are you worried about trying too hard or running out of things to talk about? The easiest solution is to STAY BUSY and do not be constantly available for your ex.

Go out and live your own life, making sure you’re focusing on success and self-improvement INDEPENDENT of him. Believe me, he will know. He will SENSE that he’s no longer a priority in your life and that’s what will make him jealous.

This explains why you are always late to reply to his texts. Why, you’re always the first one to end the conversation. He will sense two different things about you: (1) that you still enjoy talking to him and that (2) you are no longer available to him, not like you used to be.

This starts attraction – when he realizes he really has to work to get your attention!

3. Focus on being playful, flirty and positive in texts – like the way you used to be when you first started dating him.

The point of this is to show him that you’re comfortable with him and that you’ve let go of  all the bad memories. Of course, this technique works best if you RESPOND to his remarks, rather than come on too strong. After all, the last thing you want to suggest is that you want to get back together. He must learn to MISS YOU, DESIRE YOU, and then see that you DON’T want to get back together. That’s what will make him work harder to persuade you.

4. Text about old memories you still remember fondly.

This is one of the best ways to get him to feel something for you and also to see if he still has love for you for in his heart. Casually mention fun dates you remember, or fun experiences the two of you shared. When you talk about positive memories you relive those emotions.

This will immediately make him miss those times and recall how happy the two of you were together, in the beginning. Whether it’s mentioning your favorite restaurant, a movie you both remember, or even talking about various friends or relatives, taking a trip down memory lane always leaves him in a happy mood. Call it nostalgia.

He may start to wonder why things didn’t work out since you WERE, at one point, so happy together. But more importantly, now he’s going to see you as a new person, reinvented and far more independent.

5. When the time is right, hint that feelings are still there. But let HIM act on it.

The best way to up his desire for you, after you’ve shared plenty of laughs and happy memories, is to let him know you still think about him. You still have feelings for him.

But you’ve both moved on and there’s no getting back together. He must sense that there is genuine attraction, mutual attraction, but that you’re not going to pursue it.

And that’s the way it should be because it has to come from him. He has to put forth the effort to chase you. He must chase you to prove to HIMSELF that he’s still in love with you.

So planting a seed of doubt into his mind, with a text like “I really miss you sometimes [NAME – since using a man’s name is always an emotional anchor].” can really work wonders.

In closing, you might be surprised at how motivated a man is to chase you, even when the relationship didn’t work the first time. Men usually don’t fall out of love entirely. They simply move onto a relationship where there is less negativity and stress.

If you want to text him back into love, let him associate you with fun, positive conversation, and HAPPY memories. He will want that…and he will love the chance to date the “new you”.

Ah, the power of words!