How to Steal Your Ex From His New Girlfriend

All is fair in love and war…or so the poets say.

But then again, poets are not always known for their ethical behavior!

This is a question I get asked quite a bit. Is it fair to steal your ex from his new girlfriend?

And…exactly how does a girl do that, anyway?

You know, just for research purposes of course!

It’s certainly not a topic I’m too PC to talk about – I’ve known many people over the years who have had dysfunctional relationships, cheating relationships, and downright bizarre relationships with their partners.

And whenever I get asked, “Is it right or wrong to do this?” There’s no real answer to that – except that you do what you can live with, you do what you are willing to take responsibility for. And hopefully we all try to do things legally, ethically, and without hurting anyone else, as much as possible.

When it comes to relationships, hearts are very complicated. On one hand, the new girl might be really good for your ex. Maybe she’s sweet, maybe she’s smart and successful  and maybe she seems smitten with him.

On the other hand, part of you is thinking, “That’s my man, you bitch!”

So it’s not a surprise that many women will fight for the man they love, even if that means “stealing” him away from this new girl. Maybe this girl thinks she has “rights” to her ex, since she’s known the guy for years, and the new girl has only dated him a few months.

Well, that’s for you to figure out and for your ex to figure out. What you can live with and what you’re willing to take responsibility for!

Because, as I’ve always said on this blog, I don’t believe any of our dating strategies count as “seduction”, or manipulation or anything deceitful. If anything, we’re teaching women how to be more independent, stronger, more feminine, and more in touch with their “true self” that they’ve forgotten.

So your goal in this mission is surprisingly simple and quite ethical, actually. That is, you become the woman he wants…and then you let HIM make up his mind and choose between the two of you.

No, I don’t advocate cheating. But if you want this man before he gets married to someone else, and you lose him for good, then you might have to fight for him.

No manipulation or seduction is needed. He makes the final choice anyway and there’s nothing you can do to force him to choose you.

But what you can do is make a great play for him and “steal” him away from the other girl by being a better version of yourself and being the woman he’s still in love with.

That’s your best shot. So let’s discuss four strategies on how to steal your ex back by giving him more of what he wants.

1. During the “no contact period” expires, make a real effort to become a better version of yourself.

Develop skills, a better career, hobbies you enjoy and volunteer activities that make you feel good. Exercise, diet, look good and fabulous when you go out with friends. This self-improvement phase guarantees you a few things: that you’ll get his attention (since he will see the change taking place), that you’ll become more confident and attractive, and that you’ll be busy and LESS available to him.

The fact that you’re unavailable now, and very difficult to get, WILL make him want you more than the easily accessible girlfriend he’s found. You’ve got his attention…now reach out at just the right time.

2. Start texting him and become buddies again.

Texting is one of the safest ways to re-introduce yourself to your ex and the easiest way to carry on an ongoing conversation without the weirdness. During the early chats, let him know that you’ve moved on and are no longer angry or depressed. You’re both happier now and you want to stay friends. Keep it fun and casual!

Over time, you will develop a bond. Confide in each other, listen to him (when he really wants your attention), and share positive memories you’ve had together. This is when he will start to realize he misses you.

And it just so happens…his new girlfriend might not be doing a great job of replacing you.

3. Befriend the girl…don’t make it awkward

Get it out of your mind that you have to hate this new girl. Hating her and being standoffish will only make you an enemy of both of them. Be kind, be mature and be happy for his new love.

The truth is that you can actually use this time to “study” his girlfriend and figure out what’s missing in his current relationship. Understand that many guys actually go through rebound relationships, where they enjoy sex and “love” (or at least infatuation), before they realize they don’t actually have a lot in common with this new flame.

More importantly, this new flame is not YOU. He’s grown to love you over time and love certain things about you that he will NEVER get in a new relationship.

The real question is…are you making changes? Are you becoming his perfect girlfriend? Are you fixing the problems of the previous relationship by becoming more independent, stronger, more feminine and most attuned to the way he thinks? What is his new girlfriend doing wrong, judging from the way he talks about her or from his/her social media pages?

Now here’s where it gets tricky! You don’t want to make the first move or try to sleep with him, because that can backfire fast. If he sleeps with you and later feels bad about it, he might confess it to his girlfriend and then blame you for seducing him! She forgives him and they both hate you – again, you lose.

If, however, you put the idea into his mind that you still have feelings for him, and wait for him to make the first move, then you might slowly but surely win him back AFTER the rush of his rebound relationship wears off.

You can do this subtly, by reminding him that you still care about him, by sharing memories you had together. By being willing to listen to him when he is ready to confide in you.

You’re still the “old you” he loves, and yet, you’ve become this new, mysterious person he wants to get to know. It’s very hard for a new girlfriend to compete with this. You do have the advantage here.

Just be careful about sleeping with him too soon, before he’s actually fallen in love for the second time. Have sex too soon and you’ll be just another rebound like she is! Instead, go for his heart. Be a good friend, a source of positive energy in his life. Regain his trust over time and show him all the remarkable progress you’ve made in life.

Wait out the relationship until it hits a low and then be there for him when he needs you. When he starts complaining about his girlfriend, or missing you, that’s when you can give him that strong signal – that if he wants you back, you’re open to it.

The truth is over 50% of all couples that break up will eventually get back together – even after another lover comes between them. It all depends on how badly you want this and what you’re willing to do to “steal” your ex back!