How to Feel Sexy (Do These 4 Things)

You know the easiest way to turn people off? A sure way to repel men everywhere? Have a negative self image of yourself. Carry this attitude around with you, the one that says, “You don’t like me. I know you don’t like me.”

And watch how people respond. They will lose attraction to you. It’s really that simple. Because what we feel and project to the world is exactly how the world sees us. They sense our energy, our facial expressions and body posturing. In an indirect way, you might even say they read our minds. And if your primary feeling is self-doubt and low confidence they will sense a problem with you.

And there goes trust, there goes comfort. There goes the guy’s attraction to you. You really do have to “own it” – you have to know you look good and you have to feel sexy. If you don’t feel sexy, you won’t put out those seductive features that drive men wild.

Now the question is, “Is being sexy a state of mind?” Or is it something you learn?

The best way to explain it is to say that it’s time to LEARN how to make being sexy a state of mind. We’re not talking about memorizing a group of phrases, wearing certain clothes or dancing around a pole. It’s deeper than that. Being sexy is about embracing yourself, liking yourself, and letting someone else share in that joy.

When you decide, “I’m sexy and I want to please my man!” he senses that. He feeds off that energy and the sex is much better. You’re both into it, you’re both thinking about your attraction—not about your bodies. You’re not worrying about your performance or what your partner thinks of you naked You’re just living in the moment, the way sex should be.

So the key is to start FEELING sexy so that the rest – being sexy, dressing sexy and looking sexy comes more naturally. When you feel sexy you’re not faking anything. You’re being you and you’re giving your boyfriend that “come hither” with EVERYTHING you say and do.

We’re going to discuss four ways to actually feel sexy and erase that awkward, shy and “virginal” personality that may be keeping men away, or even attracting the wrong kind of guys. Let’s consider some proven ways to boost your ego and get into the mood.

1. You don’t have to love yourself but accept who you are.

I know it’s hard to just tell a person with low self-esteem “Love yourself!” But what might make it easier is to simply accept who you are. This means that you don’t have to fake it and pretend like you love yourself if you don’t. But you need to accept what you are and make peace with it. You can learn to love yourself over time but for now, accept that there are things about yourself that you cannot change. These are usually not flaws but just limitations, just personality quirks. Maybe sometimes they are what you consider to be flaws. But if they’re actually harming you then maybe it’s something you should stop fighting against and work on accepting. This is who you are, who you’ve been raised to be. Accept it and allow yourself to feel sexy despite whatever these perceived flaws might be.

2. Stop pretending to be Jessica Rabbit. Instead, focus on relaxing.

Nerves make you tense up. So if you’re nervous but still trying to act seductive then the emphasis should be on relaxing. Stressing about something and having that tight, uncomfortable energy go to work for you will have a counterproductive effect. It makes you seem forced, stilted, and uncomfortable. And yeah it shows.

The best thing to do is to focus on relaxing and getting your partner to relax. Then, when you’re both feeling good and in control of your thoughts, your breathing and blood pressure THEN you can make a more seductive move later on. The feeling of “letting go” is the issue. Even married couples are advised to “turn off their phones, go on a hotel getaway vacation, and just disappear for a night.” Why? Because you can’t relax and enjoy sex if you’re tense and distracted. No wonder then that relaxing is more important than playing a role.

3. Do NOT compete against other women. Give him the gift of appreciating you, Just You.

If only women realized that they’re usually not in competition with each other. Men are not chasing perfection. True, some of them are chasing multiple women, but even in that case, they don’t want you because you’ve got the best body or the sexiest disposition. They’re attracted to you because you’re you—you’re a unique and interesting individual they want to get to know.

So don’t drive yourself crazy with trying to be the best. Feel sexier as you realize a man wants “just you”—and no other woman can compete against you, because no one else on earth is exactly like you. He wants you because your unique chemistry, body, face and personality charmed him. You’ve already sent off “sexy” signals, even if it was accidental. Roll with it by giving him more of the real you.

4. Don’t work too hard. When in doubt pamper yourself!

Lastly, don’t underestimate the power of pampering. Feel sexier by being kind to your mind AND body. Treat yourself to something you enjoy at the spa, whether it’s a dip in the Jacuzzi, massage, facial, or manicure and pedicure. If you like more adventurous things then go out for a nature hike or go out to a bar with friends. Being good to yourself will help you relax and even boost your confidence.

In a future article we’re going to discuss ways to be sexy, or in other words, how to look sexy and project a sexy confidence that guys find irresistible. For now though take this away from our discussion: accept yourself for who you are, no apologies and no excuses. Accept the fact that some men, many men, will find you attractive just because you’re you—no acting or pretenses required.

In a future article, we will discuss how to BE sexy and how to better communicate those feelings to men who notice you.

40 Flirty Texts That Men Absolutely Love

If you’re struggling to figure out what to say to your man to bring you closer together, I’ve put together a guide of 40 fun and flirty text messages that will spark a stronger and deeper desire in whatever man you use them with.

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About The Author

Matthew Coast

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